Mercenary |BTS JIMIN MERCENARY FF|

22

I didn't feel like coming out of my room at all. His words kept going on repeat in my mind. I can barely stand you.

I truly thought he started being okay with me. He's been training me for a while now. He even laughed with me. But that's on me for reading into it too much.

He is not a normal guy. He is quite literally a serial killer. He even said so himself. He is a hollow shell. I know it. And I can't stop myself from wanting to be around him.

*knock knock*

'Everything okay in there?' I heard Taehyung, but chose to ignore it

He opened the door, peeking his head in, but I pretended to be asleep. I was lying on my side, so I just closed my eyes.

'Rain, are you awake?' He asked a bit more quietly, but I just kept "sleeping"

He sighed after a few seconds, then spoke again. 'I know you're awake, so you can stop with the silence. No one sleeps for 2 days straight. If you don't come down for breakfast, I'll carry you down.'

He didn't sound as cheerful as I'm used to hearing him. He sounded pretty threatening right now.

I opened my eyes, looking directly at him.

'I can only assume something happened with J. He is working, so he won't be back for a while. You can relax.'

'Nothing happened. I'm just not feeling that well, is all.' I lie

'Mhm. I'll give you 3 minutes.' He said in a deep, husky voice and left the room, slamming the door behind him

I guess I could leave the room if he's not here. I don't even know why I'm trying to avoid him. There's nowhere to go, and he didn't do anything. I'm just a fucking idiot. That is not his fault.

'You are alive.' Yoongi jokes as he sees me coming over to the table. It was just him, Taehyung and Jungkook. Seems the rest of them are out.

'Yes, I am indeed.' I smile at him

'What did he do or say?' Jungkook shoots at me. He's not the gentle type, is he?

'Nothing, to be honest. Nothing unusual.' I try to chuckle

'So you locked yourself away for 2 days for nothing?' Yoongi raises his eyebrow at me as if he knows I'm full of shit

'I'm pretty sure my doors were unlocked.' I turn it into a joke. 'But no. I just don't feel well.'

They didn't seem to believe that at all, but they didn't push it anymore. They left it, not asking another question.

I fought with the food on my plate, not able to eat much. I'm honestly not hungry at all.

'Where are you going?' Jungkook asks me, seeing how I'm getting up from the table

'I'm bored. I'll be downstairs.'

I figured I'd kill some time stretching or training, but I ended up by the knives again.

Namjoon said no cuts, but I need to get these stupid feelings and thoughts out of me somehow. And this is how I'll do it.
I took about 10 knives and went over to the dummy. Jimin taught me, so I know what I'm doing. And I'm angry enough with myself to throw them hard.

How could I be so stupid to start falling for someone like him? *a knife throw*

How could I be even more stupid to think he could ever feel anything for me?! *another aggressive throw*

'You fucking idiot!' I screamed at myself, throwing the knife directly into the forehead of the doll. I would be impressed with myself if my tears weren't blurring my vision.

'Was that one for me?'
Jimin's cold tone of voice from behind me sent shivers down my spine. I can't turn around now.

'No. It was for me.' I tell him without turning around, taking another knife and flipping it in my hand before throwing it at the doll, landing it right next to the last one

'In your case, it seems the feelings make you better, not worse.' He commented from a bit closer

'Lucky me.' I mumbled to myself, throwing another one, hitting the neck

'Turn around.' He was right behind me

'I'm training. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait.' I am so not ready to turn. Hearing him just made me feel worse.

But him being him, he won't really ask twice. He turned me around by grabbing my arm, so I instinctively looked down.

'Look at me.' He commands, still holding my arm

I have nowhere to go. I tried to look at him, but I stopped midway, staring at his chest instead.

His other hand went under my chin, grabbing me almost roughly, but he forced me to look up. 'I said look-' He cut himself off, and his eyes widened a little looking at my face. 'Why are you crying?'

'Why do you care? You can't stand me anyway, right?' I spat out at him, slapping his arm away and ripping myself away from him. 'I'm done. Here. You can have your knives back.' I took his hand and put the knife I was holding in it, almost slapping it into his palm, then left

I'm a double fucking idiot. Instead of turning it into a joke and saying I imagined it was him or something, I just lashed out at him. I just want to get out of this place as soon as possible. I can't stay here much longer.