OVERCOMING A ONGOING BATTLE OF ANOREXIA WITH GOD.

17th of June 2023 entry.

📝17/06/2023. - Destiny.

Today I found out I have a destiny. That's when it all made sense.

God has a destiny for me, a purpose he wants me to fulfil. MY future is looking bright and that's why I had to go through these battles because the devil is trying to make sure I don't fulfil my destiny that God has for me.

The way I found this out was when the subject kept coming up. Ever since I started physically suffering from anorexia, the topic kept coming up that I need to find that destiny and plan God has for me. I also sought God more for healing and peace resulting in our bond strengthening therefore, Romans 5, in the bible, was correct when saying 'suffering produced perseverance and faith'- I expanded in the previous chapters.

Keeping our focus on the bible, 1 Corinthians 6 that 'our bodies are the temple of Christ' therefore it's not our body. I used that as a affirmation to motivate me not to relapse as I kept reminding myself my body is not mine so if God wants me to heal, I'd have to. If I gain, I shouldn't dwell on it.

So, my dad invited family friends over but before they arrived I was reading a book my dad gave me and in the book it was talking about how I have to find my destiny and to be able to I'd have to break the chain the devil had planted in order for me to fail. I knew the devil was after me as the pastor I told you guys about, in the previous chapter, told us how the devil had planned my downfall and was attacking me in aim to kill me. So yeah, the book was telling me I had a destiny which was confusing to me; I didn't digest it in as I felt the message wasn't really meant for me. Then, the family friends arrived confirming the message was for me. Uncle had no idea I was reading a book about destiny, all he knew is that I was suffering. He sat me down for a chat and I mentally prepared myself for a lecture about how I have to gain weight but instead our chat ended up being sbout-

Destiny. You guessed right.

He told me how I have a destiny and the devil is trying to make me not achieve it. He mentioned how he suffered too when he was younger to later find his destiny; this made sense as he is now very successful. The way he spoke to me soothed me, calmed me down and gave me a boost of confidence. So I took him all the way back to how I got anorexia, I explained it to him like how I did in this book. I opened up to him and told him how I want to right a book about it all and he said I should make that an assignment therefore, I'm now writing the book that you're reading! When he told me how he suffered I compared it to how successful, rich and humble he is and I knew it must be Gods wonderful works. A perfect verse in the bible to justify this is in Romans 8:18 stating 'Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later'.

^AMEN TO THAT!

God made him successful when in the past he was probably clueless and depressed like how I am now. I had hope and faith that I will be successful in the future like him however he denied this and told me.. I'd even be more successful.

Those words are stained on me.

 I knew I had to grasp this opportunity of a bright future that God is offering to me. I knew the way to do so Is the physically get better first by eating and restoring my body. I knew I had to do more than I was currently. I knew I had to get my destiny and cast out the devil from my life IMMEDIENTLY.

If my body was a temple of Christ I needed to nourish it, keep it healthy and reinforce it.

BUT, yes there's a but. I never. ever. got. hungry.

I never had a appetite.

I never craved anything.

Food simply did not appeal to me AT ALL.

I'd get full off the tiniest bites and take more than a hour to finish a small serve meal. I asked uncle, 'how can I possibly do this if I find it hard to eat or never know what my body wants?'. He replied with a word:

'Pray'. 

So we prayed for a appetite and he told me to carry on praying for it in my alone time and with my family. I was ready to pray for a appetite and future me writing, who still hasn't recovered yet, gets a appetite some days.

Therefore, uncle is now my mentor and will help me find my destiny that the demonic oppressors are trying to ruin.

Linking back and concluding, I felt God had put me through this trial so I find out I have a destiny and most importantly so I find my destiny and draw closer to him. As much as I hate it, I feel a bit good that I am chosen but choose to stay humble. He's working in my life and has plans for me! This was God seeking me and  he has healing and better things In store for me. To help God out I needed to consume a bit more as the calories, that I still track thoroughly, were still very small.

Oh and guess that, you have a destiny too.

Try find and grasp it. Find your purpose in life and use your gifts to fulfil it.

If your anorexic like me, lets heal, lets get out life's back first.