📝05/07/2023.
The day I had prayed for God to give me, ever since I started to accept the idea of recovering, had finally come.
The day being July the 5th was the very day I started going to CAMHS clinic. The place I was offically and professionally get help on my eating disorder.
I didn't specifically ask for God to send me to CAMHS as I didn't know what it is but I did pray that he provides me with the help I need.
We met this amazing GP who examined me and suggested I should go to a eating disorder clinic. I first rejected as the thought of it scared me; I was scared they'd refeed me so much like the other people with EDs on Instagram had shown me. Therefore, I didn't want to be admitted to the clinic as I thought they'd make me obese. However, the GP must have thought I said yes and when I went to the NHS app I had seen she admitted me to the clinic, stating that said I consented.
I panicked but remembered I had asked God for the help I need so there's a reason for everything. If I prayed to God for help and then I get sent to a clinic, that was the help he provided me with.
It all made sense this day as when I went to the clinic they gave me a meal plan. It went well and the meal plan was very good. I found out it was only stage 1 but it gave me comfort. I was ready to do the meal plan as it was so minor and I trusted them. I also trusted them as they said they'd never make me obese, they'd work with me slowly and gradually get me to a healthy weight. They also said more comforting, trustworthy things. They got to know me, they cared.
However, they did weigh me to find I lost 1kg in a week and they needed to fix it.
They said they'd weigh me every week. I was so scared I'd disappoint my mum and the pressure was on.
But maybe pressure is mandatory to heal.
-----
In addition, I was a bit excited as well I was being guided in the right direction as I knew the meals I was eating without professional help were under 1000 calories and I was still undereating. I knew with their help, I would get better as I do not trust myself. If I had to do the meal plan, me being a routine addict and feeling strong urges to complete tasks I am set, knew I'd feel like I have to do it. This was a good technique to recover.
Very recommended to seek professional help. TRUST ME!
YOU ARE READING
OVERCOMING A ONGOING BATTLE OF ANOREXIA WITH GOD.
Non-Fiction'But a black young girl of God cannot get Anorexia or mental illnesses-. This is my story. You probably have struggled like how I have too. These were my coping mechanisms. This was a battle. A battle you may have experienced as well. This was ongoi...
