📝23/05/2023.
The day I think my mindset permanently transformed for the better and I believe my Lord and saviour, known as God, caused this transformation.
I liked how my mindset changed this day.
First and foremost, I woke up this day feeling very insecure. When I looked in the mirror I noticed my face had looked a bit chubbier- I'd say bloated. Therefore, I was curious if my body looked bigger as well so I started body checking. In conclusion, I noticed how my ribs that were once visible had faded a bit and the hole I had in the middle of my chest had been fading. In other words I thought I had gained fat/ weight.
Did I throw a fit in my head? Did I beat myself up about it? Did I feel like relapsing? Did I get upset about it?
No.
Instead I praised myself and told myself that it was a sign that I was healing and that I'm gaining better health rather than fat. I told myself not to dwell on it and instead to see it as a positive.
Isn't that amazing. It's a huge contrast to my past self who would tell myself I can't eat until I loose that weight again.
I carried on my day as usual and by the end of the day I felt disappointed in myself. I felt upset because I felt I didn't eat enough and could have pushed through more meals. Before, I'd be happy that I didn't eat enough and praise myself but now my new disciplined self was annoyed. Maybe it was the holy spirit in me telling me I should have nourished myself more today.
I was upset because I thought I was going one step backwards with recovery as I ate so little this day and not intentionally, just out of no appetite. So I acted on this thought and grabbed yogurt and ate it even though I was full. I knew my body needed it. I knew I needed it to fulfil my purpose God has for me.
When not wanting to eat, think about the future. Taking that step to eat can help you with your future wanted careers in the future and Gods will for you.
We need strength. Lets take that step everyday to push ourselves to eat more!
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OVERCOMING A ONGOING BATTLE OF ANOREXIA WITH GOD.
Non-Fiction'But a black young girl of God cannot get Anorexia or mental illnesses-. This is my story. You probably have struggled like how I have too. These were my coping mechanisms. This was a battle. A battle you may have experienced as well. This was ongoi...
