resolve // 5SOS

24

Ally

"Wakey wakey, people are arriving guys,"

"Huh?"

"People are here!"

I squinted up and dad and yawned, feeling Axel bump into my side as he woke up.

"I'm not ready,"

"Get ready then. Would you like a drink?"

"I'll grab my own," Axel said, climbing over me, "Is Calum here?"

"He is,"

While he ran downstairs, I held my arm out so dad could pull me up, then I got out of bed and went straight to take my makeup off. I brushed my hair out too, and put on more deodorant.

"Did you have a good nap?"

"Yeah. What are we eating because everyone is here?"

"Everyone cooked food and brought it over for us... theres plenty of choice. Me and you can get first dibs,"

"I feel quite overwhelmed from today. I'm a bit sad I don't like the beach,"

"There's plenty else to try out! I'm sorry it didn't live up to expectations though, pumpkin. We can still have a good day,"

"We have cake,"

"Exactly,"

As we went downstairs, the feeling I had before I went to sleep clouded back over me. Guilt. I think I would trade dad if it meant I had grown up with a nice family my whole life. My current situation I would never trade, I loved everyone in my life, but things probably would have been a lot easier- I probably would be happier a bit more easily.

When I got downstairs, Michael was the first one to greet me, but I felt a bit distracted and I went to find Sierra, who was in the kitchen.

"Hi darling! You like the cake?"

"Yeah,"

"I thought it was a good excuse, Cal is very happy about it. Oh, petunia is in the garden if you wanna see her! And Duke, have you met Duke? He is Calum's dog,"

"No,"

"Luke's out there,"

"Can I talk to you both?"

"Of course, let's go and get him,"

Immediately, she took my hand and we went outside, where Luke and Gabi were playing with the dogs.

"Hey Gabi, mind if you go inside for a few minutes?"

"Sure,"

"Is Maddox here?" I asked.

"No,"

"Can she come?"

"I can ask," she said, her face lighting up, "I will go and ask,"

I watched her run off inside, then looked at Sierra and sighed, covering my face. I felt like the most horrible, ungrateful person in the world.

"What's wrong?" Luke said, "Here, sit down,"

"I'm horrible,"

"You're not horrible!"

"I am. Axel said something earlier and it's making me think bad things,"

"Like what?" Sierra said, uncovering my face.

"I feel guilty,"

"What are you thinking about, angel?"

"I feel like... like I wouldn't change things now but maybe if I had been able to have a nice family since when I was younger that wasn't dad, I would choose a nice family and not wait for dad. I know I shouldn't even think of it because I can't change things and I love being here, but I wished I had been loved when I was younger,"