resolve // 5SOS

38

Ally

"Good morning!"

Dad came in and opened the curtains, Axel and I both groaning and covering our eyes.

"I thought we wanted the morning in the pool,"

"Maybe the afternoon,"

"It is already 10, by the time you're ready it'll be noon,"

"What's for breakfast?"

"What would you both like?"

"Pancakes," we said, in sync, "Please?"

"Come on then,"

We followed him downstairs and he started cooking them for us, Axel chopping up strawberries. It felt super hot today, dad was already in shorts and a vest top with his sandals on.

He made mine with nutella and strawberries, then sat with an iced coffee at the head of the table.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Okay,"

"A bit sad," Axel said, pushing his food round, "Oh well,"

"It's not 'oh well'... we can talk about it when you're ready,"

"You're seeing Charles lots this week though, right?" I asked, trying to make him happy. He nodded, and smiled a little bit, then put his fork down.

"Yesterday just... fucked with my brain,"

"It's gonna get easier dude, I promise. You did really well,"

"I wish so badly that you had been our dad forever,"

"I know, sweetheart, I wish I had got to know you sooner too. You're both so wonderful!"

"Axel, dad said love is an energy and it can't be created or destroyed, and I was googling, and I think that his love for us has always been in the energy, even when he didn't know us, because dad always wanted kids so he always had love for his kids- which is us,"

He stayed silent for a bit, then started crying and leant into dad, who comforted him.

"That was really beautiful, Ally," dad said, "It's true, it wouldn't have mattered if I met you when you were 4 or 84, my love would always be the same,"

"We didn't deserve what they did to us,"

"You didn't, you absolutely did not, and I am so angry you had to go through it so long. I will never hurt you,"

"I know,"

"I am gonna go and change,"

I took myself upstairs- I hated seeing Axel sad. I didn't know what to do or say, and he liked to talk to dad about things without me there.

Personally, I had a huge weight off my shoulder and I was looking forward to life moving on from this all. Seeing my cousins had really closed a chapter for me, and I kind of realised they were just shitty people. Like, thanks for keeping us alive but I didn't want to be surviving, I wanted to be living.

My new family helped me live. I laughed, and got to be creative, and supported, and listened to. I loved living. It was still so hard sometimes, but I looked forward to waking up now, and I definitely had never been able to say that in my life, ever.

I got into my swimming costume and got my sandals, then did my best to put my hair up. Thankfully, my shoulder felt way better now, pretty much normal other than some aching sometimes. However, it was still hard to do things like make a ponytail, and I still couldn't lift anything heavy.