resolve // 5SOS

37

Alyssa

"How are you doing, munchkin?" Luke asked, "Your dad told me to tell you that the food is almost ready,"

"Okay. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed,"

"Wanna talk?"

"Can I have a hug?"

"Of course you can. It has been a long day I bet,"

"Yeah. I embarrassed myself, didn't I?"

"Not at all. We all came because we knew it was gonna be one of the hardest things you have ever had to do,"

"It was the hardest,"

"I bet," he said, gently moving my hair off my face, "You are so amazing, you know? We are all so grateful we get to know you, and watch you blossom into such a wonderful person. Our family is a team, and we cheer each other on through good and bad,"

"I told Axel not to feel guilty about us saying the bad things but I still do. They gave us some stuff, they kept us alive, but they were so bad,"

"I felt the same when I went to court, it gets easier,"

"What happened at yours?"

"It was about who was gonna get Gabi, but my ex wife did bad things to me too. When I was saying all these bad things it was so confusing, because she gave us our kid, and there were some good moments! But, they never outweighed the bad,"

"I am sorry she did bad things to you,"

"It's not your fault, angel. Trust me, I know how you feel. I know how confusing it feels saying someone's hurt you when they also gave you comfort,"

"So I am not bad?"

"Nope. You aren't bad, and Axel isn't bad,"

"And you aren't,"

"No. We are all very brave, and we all now get to live our life surrounded by beautiful people, who we are gonna experience beautiful things with,"

"I love you, Uncle Luke,"

"I love you too, angel. I adore you,"

"Did you go to therapy too?"

"Lots of it, and I got lots of hugs from your dad. He helped me and Gabi so much!"

"I got so lucky,"

"Yeah, you did. We are all pretty lucky to know your dad,"

"He is the best person in the world," I said, starting to cry.

I was so overwhelmed with the love I felt from everyone, and how grateful I was to have this home. I felt safe, and had pink things, and got to go to school and have my brother.

"I don't know what I did to deserve him but I am glad I did it,"

"Oh angel, you are just the sweetest person ever. Shall I get your dad up here?"

"Yeah,"

"Give me a minute,"

I heard him running downstairs, then heard dad coming upstairs, covering my face when he came into the room.

"Heya pumpkin,"

"I love you so much,"

"I love you too. What's with the tears ay?"

"I love you. I am crying because I love you and you love me and you do everything to make me happy. I don't know what to do with all the love from everyone,"

"Well that is one of the most beautiful reasons to be crying, huh?" he said, gently cupping my chin, "I am so glad you see how much we love you! I know it has been the hardest day for you,"

"I get sad when I think about all of this ending,"

"What do you mean?"

"Like someday we are all gonna be gone and I am never gonna feel your love,"

"Well there are thousands and thousands of days before that all happens. I believe that our love is always gonna be out there, energy can't be destroyed, yanno. There is love buzzing around everywhere, all the time, from people hundreds of years ago, and right now, as I give you my love. Love powers the world, pumpkin! Our love is always gonna be here,"

"So someone else might have our love around them?"

"Yeah, if you want to believe that,"

"I like that. I want to make lots of people feel loved,"

"That is a really special goal to have, and I know you will be absolutely amazing at that," he said, drying my cheeks, "It is the most powerful tool,"

"You were the first adult to ever show me love, and kindness. I hope I am like you, dad,"

"I think you are already a million times better than me,"

"Definitely not,"

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, hitting my head into his chest.

"Shall we go and eat? Calum made your favourite,"

"He did?"

"Yeah, he did. He made Axel his favourite too,"

"Everyone loves us so much,"

"They do, pumpkin! You deserve it,"

Taking his hand, I stood up, then we went downstairs to the kitchen where everyone was getting food. We had a huge table, and it usually felt a bit empty when it was just us three, but when everyone was here I understood why we had it. Being surrounded by everyone was incredible.

I sat between Axel and Sierra, and tucked into my food, swinging my legs. I accidentally kicked Michael a couple of times but he didn't care, because people here didn't care about that sort of thing.

Afterwards, we played some fun games, then everyone headed off because they had work tomorrow. I helped dad tidy up, then he told us he was gonna get in bed so Axel and I went down to the basement and he showed me the drums for a bit.

It was good relief for him, and made me happy because he had dreamt of this. He was really good at it too.

"Ally,"

"Yeah?"

"We did good today,"

"Yeah, we did do well,"

"Luke and Calum said we can do it all this weekend,"

"Good. Dad and Gabi should definitely have some time together... I spoke to Luke today, and he is so important to me. I can't imagine how important dad is to Gabi,"

"You know, until we moved here, I never knew you were like this,"

"Like what?"

"You feel love so deeply. I think it's really cool... but I didn't know it was part of you until we came here. I guess that, in some way, is pretty cool too,"