Sunset in Paradise

CHAPTER 41 (Departure)

*Reina*

I was still sitting silently in the passenger seat as he drove, trying to get something from me.

“Devlin, why is it so big deal to you? My marriage is not your problem,”

He just drew a sigh. “For me, honestly yes, I don't give a shit about your marriage and your stupid husband, but, you're important to me, Rei, you're my sister, my soul sister,”

I glanced away, feeling more depressed. “Sorry to make you worry, but I think my life was full of mess even before, my senior high was a huge highlight of my life other than this,”

“That's the big reason why I'm doing this,” he looked away while driving at steady speed. “I'd witnessed your deepest misery before, I can't allow that to happen again, not in my account, if you guys broke up just because of this stupid miscommunication, I'd be damned forever, I will blame myself if I didn't do anything,”

I lowered my gaze. “What makes you think he would change his mind? Nakapagpasya na siya, hindi na niya ako kailangan,”

“Tinanong mo na ba siya tungkol sa mararamdaman niya? Ang hirap sa 'yo, pinangungunahan mo ang tadhana, bakit mo kinatatakutan ang isang bagay na hindi pa nangyayari?

Hindi mo hawak ang isip niya, Rei, at 'yan ang isang bagay na dapat tigilan mo na, hindi ka matutulungan ng mga alalahanin mo,”

“Sana nga ganun lang kadali yun, Dev. Sana nga, pero kahit anong gawin ko, yun at yun ang tumatakbo sa isip ko, natatakot ako na tuluyan siyang magalit sa akin,”

“Hindi siya magagalit kung alam niya lang ang totoo, Reina, ang buong katotohanan, mataas ang pride niya, oo, dati ko pa nahalata 'yon, pero hindi siya tanga para 'di niya makita ang puno't dulo nito, na hindi niya maiisip ang kahangalan mo, dahil lang sa kanya, ginawa mo yun nang dahil sa kanya, dapat siya pa ang mahiya sa 'yo,”

“Tama na Dev, please,” I tried to hide my face because of his onslaught tirade on me.

“Hindi, dapat mong marinig yun, ginawa mo 'yan sa sarili mo dahil sobra mo siyang minahal, ikaw na tinitingala at hinahangaan ng iba, anong nangyari sa 'yo, bakit hinayaan mong gawin niya 'to sa 'yo? Hindi ako mananahimik na lang lalo't ako ang pinagseselosan niya, gago siya! Parang hindi niya tayo kilala,” then he cursed audible. “Tang in* niya, ako pa ang pinagselosan, gago talaga,”

It took a while before he stopped then looked at me pensively.

“I'm sorry for bashing you relentlessly, I just can't accept this situation you're in, look at you, you looked so wasted. I know your sickness has to blame for all of your terrible decision-making but I know, this breakup has a huge impact on you, to your life, I can't stand watching you wasting your life away when I know you can do something,”

“I did, inilaban ko naman, pero ayaw na niya, ano pang magagawa ko, Devlin? Kung ayaw na niya,”

“Just do me a favor and keep yourself together, please, if you told him everything and he still decided to leave, then we will let this go, hindi mo na problema kung hindi siya maniwala, ang sa 'kin lang, mawala 'yang bigat sa dibdib mo dahil sinisira ka niyan, winawasak n'yan ang pagkatao mo, ngayon, kung wala pa ring nangyari at umalis siya, konsensya na niya yun, paano pala kung nabuntis ka niya, iiwan ka niya at ang baby mo?

Kapag ganun ang nangyari, gago siya 'wag na siyang magpapakita sa akin dahil papatayin ko siya,”

I chose not to argue with him. He was once again, the bullheaded Devlin I know and whenever he decides to do something, he will do it with or without my permission.

A kind of thing that we have in common that's why we hate each other for that reason but also, care for each other.

“If only you had done this earlier, you wouldn't be in this mess,” he sighed then sidled a glance. “But I'm not taking it against you, Rei, he was the one who put words in your mouth, he should at least give you the right to explain things, he's such an...asshole,”