Sunset in Paradise

CHAPTER 35 (Memories and Yesterdays) B

*Reina*

I was still in shock when I received the documents one morning in my office.

It didn't come to my senses that my happiness would be this short-lived. Especially my marriage. It was just five months and three weeks ago when we took our vows in front of the altar.

A pretty short-term euphoria, an addicted pleasure that only lasts for a moment and then evanesced to the sky. The side effect was lethal, after the rain, it burned us both.

Hindi ko alam kung paano kami napunta sa sitwasyon na ito. Wala rin kaming naihandang plano kung sakaling humantong kami sa ganito.

Hindi kami handa sa ganito.

Sino ba naman kasi ang makakapagsabi na hanggang dito lang ang kaya naming ibigay sa relasyon na ito.

Wala kaming nakitang senyales, walang naging basehan. Basta na lang kami nadarang sa nag-aapoy naming galit.

Wala na rin kaming nagawa sa huli. Natupok kami at abo na lang ang natira.

Gaya ng nararamdaman ko, hindi ko na alam kung paano pa ako bukas o sa makalawa. Hindi ako nagsiguro ng plano, hindi kami naghanda. Dahil umasa kami na tunay at wagas ang pagmamahalan namin. Akala ko sapat na iyon.

Hindi na kami naging sapat para sa isa't isa. May hinahanap pa siya at hindi ko kayang punan. Hindi ko matanggap na kaya niya akong iwan, kaya niya akong bitawan ng ganun-ganun lang.

Nasa harap ko ang annulment papers na galing sa abogado niya. Hindi ko magawang basahin ng buo, pinahid ko ang luha ko sa mga mata bago ko siya tinawagan. Humugot muna ako ng lakas ng loob bago ako nagsalita.

“Hello, bakit?”

“Pwede ba tayong magkita? Importante lang.”

Natahimik siya at maging ako.

“I received the papers, just this morning,”

“Kung mag-uusap tayo, dapat kasama mo na rin ang abogado mo,”

“Miles, can we talk this out first? Bakit ka ba nagdedesisyon mag-isa?”

“Reina, you already see it coming, bakit ba nagugulat ka pa? Kung kakausapin mo 'ko, magdala ka ng abogado mo,”

“How did you turn so heartless?” I sobbed and hung up.

I can't believe that this is happening.

I can't believe this happened to us. The strong bond we had before was completely gone. It vanished. We lost it, we had lost it along the way.

I tried to fix myself but the thought of him trying to cut me off from his life takes its toll on me.

It was scary to think that this was another nightmare just like I had back when I was young. When I was kidnapped at twelve, when I was molested by my step-dad and now him leaving me, this was way too much.

The trauma of losing my dad at twelve, losing my half-sister at nineteen, and my mom in childbirth. My half-brother, who didn't show up since after I was kidnapped again.

I can't, I can't take this anymore.

When the door opened, I didn't recognize who came and comforted me. I was on my knees hugging myself in a fetal position.

“Reina, get a hold of yourself,” I heard the stern voice of Tita Theresa.

I didn't answer, I just shit myself out again. “Why do the people I loved and cherished always choose to leave me, Tita?”

“Why, am I really hard to love? Bakit sila isa-isang nawawala sa akin? Dahil ba ganito ako? Hindi ko na kaya, ang sakit-sakit na,”

She didn't reply and patted my back. We stayed there a few more minutes, trying to pick up the scattered pieces of me.