Sunset in Paradise

CHAPTER 13 (Presents)

*Reina*

After 4 months and three weeks, our team finally came back to the Philippines. It was a fun-filled, moving and totally new experience for us, competing internationally but also a new chapter of our sports career.

We didn't win most of the team events but we excelled in individual events. Coach Francis gave us a hearty pep talk about winning and losing making us giddier to challenge ourselves more.

We competed in four different events in Asian and Intercontinental meets. From AUAC to *Pan-Pacific Athletics Championship, and *Oceania University Sports or OUAC (Oceania University Athletics Championship) as individuals out of 27 student-athlete invitationals, and *World Athletics Cup also sponsored by World Athletics and as invitational.

Our wins were not considered as big as Sea Games or FISU, but for me, the experience and exposure are enough for us to keep on track.

It still felt surreal, to come home with gold and silver medals and special recognition given to us, from the league in which we participated.

Especially me, who was just starting from scratch again. I made a huge improvement from my recent record, I actually had trouble finishing my outdoor meet back in Athletessima, Lausanne, Switzerland and didn't advance to the next meet.

But I bounced back in PPAC or Pan Pacific Grand Prix in Zürich, but still, I didn't advance. That was the time I was so low and disappointed, but also my anxiety struck again.

Our physiatrist asked me if I'm still having my dose of injectable birth control, and I said yes, I brought ampules with me and still having consultations with my Ob-gyn through video calls, and Zinnia, our road manager and legal guardian of Sera, (who is actually a registered nurse) helped me sustain my dose by administering IM injection and checked my BP regularly.

Our physiatrist actually concluded that having my birth control injection might have been the trigger to my anxiety and depression because the symptoms worsened since I started this method.

I was actually experiencing the side effects and this was the reason why my OB didn't highly recommend this method for me.

Clinically, I have a history of depression and my mom—my biological mom—died of heart disease, so I might catch that up and lastly, my body's physiological function. Using this method specifically this brand can affect my bone mineral density. I needed to have strong bones and muscles because I am an athlete. I can't just stop if I accidentally tripped and got fractured.

So she prescribed me a calcium supplement and suggested a diet that helps me improve or heighten the distribution of calcium and protein inside my body.

She even told me to reconsider continuing this method as my contraceptive and gave me a lot of options. I just declined them.

She even suggested returning to using birth control pills or trying non-hormonal methods such as condoms IUDs, implants and—I cannot believe her,—abstinence.

I can actually do COCs or POCs, the problem is, I always forget to take it at the same time of the day. I didn't approve of implants and IUDs, I just don't like having something inside my body.

The patch can be good too, but in the kind of sports I have, it could be a hassle especially if our training is always round the clock. I can't make a quick appointment with my OB or my workout doctor once a week for three straight weeks and put a patch on my skin.

And lastly, abstinence, sure. But once I got home, I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, especially when we were miles apart for so many months and if we were down for it or just getting a little wild, I didn't want to restrain myself to get it on.