I roll over in my bed and pull a pillow over my head. Every morning this week I have been woken before my alarm goes off, yesterday was fighting, this morning it's fucking. My father and my step mother are like a modern day horror story and the first of many reasons I will never get married and definitely never have kids.
Crawling out of bed I try to ignore the thumping pain in my head that tells me I definitely drank too much last night and probably made a shit load of bad decisions because of it.
Fuck it! Me and bad decisions go together like Bonnie and Clyde, drugs and alcohol, money and fame. I run a hand through my hair and find it's thick and sticky from the product I used the night before.
"Tomás! Yes Tomás harder! harder!"
I raise my hand to hit the wall and tell them to quieten the fuck down but then I reconsider, looking down to my naked stomach and seeing the yellowing bruises, the reminder of the last time I tried to tell my father what to do in his own home.
Picking up a towel I walk to the bathroom and shut the door, moving the chair and jamming it under the handle so no one can get in. The lock was removed not long after Mary moved in, it wasn't an accident and neither were the times she walked in on me
Stepping into the shower I'm pleased that the noise of the running water has drowned out the grotesque sounds of my father and his wife having what they consider to be a great sexual experience but I consider to sound like two mutt dogs mating. Thank fuck they are too old to reproduce, God knows what kind of mutant offspring they would give birth to.
Letting the water flow over me, I close my eyes and try to remember what actually happened last night.
I remember leaving school, going to Connors house with the rest of the band and a few of the easy girls from school.
Bri brought beer, I remember shots, I can definitely taste tequila on my furry tongue and it's mixed with something else... something more feminine.
Fuck!
I try to remember who it was this time but it's like someone removed that part of memory which is probably for the best, there wasn't one of those girls I would touch if I was sober.
****************
Walking in to the kitchen my stomach turns at the stench of spilled alcohol and stale food. It doesn't look like anyone has tidied in a month.
A memory of my mother singing as she cleaned the dishes or swept the floor burns my already aching head and makes my chest ache just as hard. Pushing the dirty plates to one side I search for a clean cup and then set about making a coffee, knowing there won't be any fresh milk I have taken to drinking it black and I have to admit most days the bitter taste matches my mood.
"Morning Traaavis" I freeze on the spot, not daring to turn around as I hear Mary approaching. I gaze straight ahead hoping she will somehow vanish into thin air but she doesn't and as usual she won't tolerate me ignoring her. "Mommy's talking to you Travis" she drawls as she presses herself against my back and then her arms loop around my waist. My breath catches in my throat as her's wafts around my neck. I feel her cleavage against my spine and I close my eyes praying for this nightmare to end but she just grabs my cup of coffee and then slaps my ass before laughing her raspy laugh and heading back towards the bedroom she shares with my father.
As soon as I hear the door shut I grab my backpack and guitar case and make a run for my car, locking it as quickly as possible and then slamming my fists into the passenger seat screaming in frustration, drowning in the hatred I have for myself and my own home.
*******************
"Kelce!" Connor pats me on the back and I know from the stupid smirk on his face that I did something im going to regret last night
"Connor" I say whilst shaking his hand and then sitting on the bench opposite to him "Something you want to say?"
"Yeah... you are the fucking man! Eating Britney out like that in front of us all. You're officially a legend
I did what???!!!
Oh fuck!
I can feel my cheeks burn at the thought if it but I can't show weakness to these people so I just grin big and hi five my friend
"If a man's hungry he's gotta eat doesn't matter where or when"
"Amen to that brother"
I'm just about to make some other disgusting comment when a giggle interupts my thoughts and my head snaps towards it, ready to strangle whoever's making the noise and then I see her, Taylor fuckin Swift.
Let's get one thing straight the girl is hot, all long blond hair and big blue eyes and normally if a girl looked like her I would be have had her multiple ways, multiple times by now but not this girl, this girl is my fuckin nemesis.
Little Miss Ray Of Fuckin Sunshine, all happy and smiley, her teeth are too white and I see them way too often for a girl that has never given me head.
I shake my head in disgust as she leans her head on her hand and twists her hair around her finger as she and a group of her airhead friends discuss the important life altering subjects of hair and make up and what guys going to take them to prom.
Fuck that shit and fuck her. She knows nothing of the real world, I have seen her in town with her mother and sister, the three of them linking arms and giggling like the teenager only one of them is.
I hate her with a passion.
I hate the way she looks and the way she walks. I hate the way she giggles and jokes and bounces everywhere. I hate how much everyone loves her but most of all I hate what she is and what she has because it's everything I will never be or have.
"What's up?" Asks Conner, his eyebrows lowered "You are looking at Swifty like she might be next on your menu"
"No fuckin way. The only part of me that's ever going to be on her is my foot on her neck whilst she begs me for mercy. I'm going to destroy her and I'm going to love every God damn minute of it"
*in the original version of this I chose to not use the real parents name because the parents in this story are pretty nasty and I've carried that over to this conversion
*Also, in this I'm asking you to believe in a Portuguese Travis, it's vital to the story as it was originally written as. Shawn Mendes story
