"Oh my God, Travis!!!" I freeze in the doorway to his bedroom, my eyes wide with surprise as I clasp a hand over my mouth
"Do you like it?" He asks almost shyly and I throw myself into his arms as happy tears spill down my cheeks
"Baby it's beautiful" I tell him before returning my attention to the room.
He has decorated the small space with fairy lights and candles, there's flowers and chocolate on his bed stand along side a bottle that looks like sparkling grape juice and I smile at how his protective side always shines through when it comes to me
"I just wanted our second first time to be perfect"
"Our first first time was perfect Travis, it was what happened afterwards that spoiled it"
He takes hold of my chin and tilts it up towards him
"Well nothing's spoiling It this time"
He kisses my lips gently and just as he moves to deepen it I pull away slightly and place my hands on his chest, aware that I need to tell him about Aaliyah before I allow him to take this step with me. I don't know how he's going to react and the last thing I want is to tell him and spoil the effort he's gone to for us.
"You don't want to?" his face looks unsure so I stand on my tiptoes and press a lingering kiss to his lips
"I definitely want to but I need to talk to you first"
"You can't talk to me after? Let's do this now then we can talk all night. If it isn't obvious i'm pretty desperate for you" his arms slide around my waist as his lips meet mine once more and then his tongue moves gently in to my mouth. My body begs me to give in but my conscience won't allow me to.
"How about we talk now and then make love all night?" I ask against his lips and I feel them curl upwards into a smile
"Okay, I like your plan more" he gives me one last quick peck before we move across his room and sit side by side in his bed, our fingers intertwined and knees touching
"I don't really know how to say this"
"Tay, if this is about another guy, the dude your mom sent you on a date with or... someone else"
"It's not, of course it's not. There's no other guy Trav, there never will be. It's only you"
He grins so wide I can't help but smile with him
"But baby, it is serious"
"I'm listening" his grip on my hand tightens and I notice his jaw bunch and unbunch a couple of times and know he's nervous about what's about to come"
"Sometimes in life you do something with the best of intentions, because you love someone and want them to be happy but sometimes what they want and what you think they want turn out to be two different things"
He nods but stays silent "So you did something because you thought it was what I wanted and now you think it isn't what I want, am I following so far?"
This time it's my turn to silently nod
"What did you do?"
"Please listen before you speak okay? Hear me out"
"I'm listening Taylor, I'm shitting my pants I have to tell you but I'm listening"
"I love you, you know that right?"
"Yeah, but just tell me, you're scaring me"
"I uh... I searched for your mom"
"What?!" He gasps and I feel his hand begin to tremble in mine "did you find her?"
"It's not a yes or no answer Travis I'm sorry"
"Taylor, tell me now!" he uses his spare hand to push his hair off of his forehead and I see his hand shaking
"I didn't" I see his eyes flood with tears and I reach up and cup his cheek "but I found Aaliyah" his mouth drops open and then closes, opens and then closes but he doesn't utter a word "Travis I met Aaliyah"
"You what?!"
"In Tampa. I thought I was going to meet her and your mom and I wanted to make sure they weren't going to reject you and hurt you so me and my mom went out there but your mom... Travis Aaliyah isn't with her, she's with foster parents"
I watch as all the colour drains from his face he covers his eyes with his hand and I hear a sniff and I know this is proving too much
"So is my mom..."
I know what he's thinking, that's she's passed away so I shake my head "She left Aaliyah just a few days after they left you and your dad, Aaliyah hasn't seen her since"
"She left us both"
I nod
"I..." he tries to pull his hand away but I grip it tight "Tampa? That's just a couple hours away. All this time I thought they were on the other side of the world but Aaliyah was so close"
"Its not fair Travis I know"
"How is she? Is she good?"
"She's beautiful... just like you"
"Well obviously" he jokes through his tears
"She's with a good family, she loves them a lot, she says they treat her well and she's happy and healthy"
"Good. I'm glad" he keeps his eyes trained on his knees but I can feel his entire body vibrating against me
"She wants to meet you"
"What?!" His head snaps up and he looks at me with tears running down his face "she wants me?"
"Oh baby!" I throw my arms around his neck and hold him to me as he gently sobs into my shoulder "Of course she wants you, you're her big brother, she misses you"
"You did this for me" his arms squeeze me so tight against him I worry he might be about to break something "You gave me my sister back "
"I'd do anything for you, give you anything and everything, I owe it to you because what you've given me is everything I didn't know I needed"
