Rounding the corner I see him and hear him all at once and it's such an overwhelming moment my knees almost give way.
He's stood in the middle of Connors basement, his hair falling perfectly over his forehead, a white tank top showing off the taut muscles of his arms and chest as he grips his guitar.
His eyes are closed so he doesn't see me but I see him and I hear him. Singing, for the first time and it's the most beautiful sound I ever heard in my life and I almost burst into tears knowing my beautiful, battered, forgotten boy is capable of this.
'But what if I just showed up at your party?
Would you have me? Would you want me?
Would you tell me to go fuck myself?
Or lead me to the garden
Britney's hand comes down onto my shoulder
"He's amazing isn't he?"
I nod but don't get the chance to speak because Britney's voice has spoiled the moment and Travis opens his eyes and looks right at me
"Taylor!" His eyes crinkle and his lips part in to the most beautiful smile as I rush to him, throwing me arms around him, not concerned by the guitar that's in between us
"Oh my God Travis that was beautiful! You are beautiful!" I hear Connor and Brian laugh at the thought of Travis being called beautiful but I don't care because he is, inside and out and his voice...
"I have news" he whispers in my ear and pulls me gently out of the basement into the fresh air and that air hits me like a ton of brick to the face as the vodka I had drank with Brit causes me head to go light. I close my eyes and try to steady myself "you okay?" He asks gently, running a hand over my hair and I nod
"What's the news, not bad I hope, I don't think I could take it if it is"
"No it's good news, really good news. I got a job today"
"What?!" My hands reach up and take hold of his face "Are you serious?"
"100%, it's just working at a garage but..."
"Don't do that, don't play it down, it's a job, it's a big deal. I'm so proud of you" I kiss his lips and as I try to intensify it he pulls away and he looks at me suspiciously
"Have you been drinking?"
"No"
"You taste of alcohol"
" Well maybe I had a teeny weeny bit" I say lifting two fingers to demonstrate how 'teeny weeny' it was but he looks unimpressed
"Who gave it to you?"
I use the same 2 fingers to pretend to lock my lips, suddenly feeling very giggly and very dizzy
"As if I can't guess" he says whilst pulling me back down the steps to the basement, I hold on to the wall to stop myself from falling, my head feels so light and my legs feel so heavy "Did you give Taylor alcohol?!" He almost barks out to Brit who is now sitting on Connors lap enjoying a pretty heated make out session. So this is the Perfectly Wrong band practise I have heard so much about...
"She had two sips Trav that's it" she says breaking away from Connor just long enough to speak and then returning to his lips
"Does this look like 'two fuckin sips?'" He releases my hand and I stumble forward, thankfully he grabs hold of me again before I can fall
"Do you know how sexy you are when you curse?" I ask in a loud whisper and he frowns at me
"Do you know how sexy you are when you're sober???"
"Honestly Travis she only had 2 drinks of vodka from the bottle" Britney repeats
"Neat vodka? When she's never had alcohol before in her life? Have you seen the size of her? Did you eat before you drank?" He asks question after question like my father would and I can't help but giggle at the similarities
"I don't like food" I tell him, alcohol bringing out the truth teller in me
"No wonder she's wasted, for fuck sake Brit, you were supposed to be looking out for her"
"She's a big girl Travis"
"5 foot 2" I announce proudly but Travis doesn't laugh and suddenly the whole room begins to spin "I don't feel so well..."
"Fuck!" Travis shouts as he quickly lifts me up and then jogs up the stairs with me in his arms
"You're so strong" I tell him just before my stomach empties itself all over Connors front yard "Oops"
"Yes fuckin 'oops'" my heart drops at how quickly he's gone from being pleased to see me to being mad at me
"Sorry" I say, filled with familiar shame as he sets me down, he just looks at me before heading to his now repaired car and returning with some paper napkins and cleaning my mouth for me
"How do you feel?" His voice is soft and his eyes filled with concern, replacing the annoyed look he had worn just moments earlier
"Like I did something else wrong" I admit and he puts a finger under my chin and raises my face to look at him
"I'm just trying to keep you safe Taylor, you're everything to me I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you"
"Nothing's going to happen to me"
"Yeah, I'm going to see to that" he kisses my forehead and I feel the urge to cry beginning to take hold "why are you crying?" Travis asks as he takes my face in his hands and bends his knees so our faces are on the same level
"I feel like I let you down, I feel like I keep letting everyone down"
"You haven't let me down, you made a mistake, God knows I have made enough of those"
He kisses my mouth softly and I can't help think how cute but gross it is that he would kiss me when I had just puked moments earlier
"You can't go home like this, how about you lie in the back of my car and get some sleep then I will drive you home"
I nod and then rest my head against his chest and listen to his heart beating
"You have the most beautiful singing voice I ever heard, do you know that?"
"Thanks" he says it whilst walking us to his car and opening the back door. I get in first and then he does too before I lie down, my head in his lap"
"Travis?"
"What is it?" He begins stroking my hair and the side of my face and I feel my eyes begin to feel heavy under the influence of alcohol and Travis
"Will you sing for me please"
"What now?!"
"To help me sleep. Please?" He heaves a breath in and takes a minute or two, his hands smoothing over my hair the entire time
'Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms...'
And as my eyelids finally drop shut I'm aware of nothing else in the word other than Travis and I and he's singing a love song to me, about me and for me and I don't think it's possible to love another human being more than I love him right at this moment
