Travis maintains the intense eye contact he's renowned for as he grips the bottom of my sweatshirt.
I should tell him no but instead I nod and within seconds the soft fabric is pulled over my head as he lays it down on the picnic table 'For your head' he informs me before threading the fingers of one hand through my hair and pulling my lips to his.
I should push him away and tell him to stop but he smells so good and tastes even better.
As he grabs me by the hips and lifts me onto the bench whilst never breaking the kiss I should remember the last time he had me in this position it was part of a plan he made with his friends to hurt and humiliate me but I can't, all I can think about is the way he was so gentle, the way he whispered beautiful words against my skin.
He pulls his own t shirt off and then lays it on the wood before telling me to lie back
I should refuse and then stand up and go home but instead I lay down as he begins placing soft kisses all over my stomach whilst his hands hold my hips firmly in place
I close my eyes and let myself enjoy the feel of his wet lips on me, my mind filling with indecent images of the two of us naked in my bed.
I should remember how that ended and I do but I can't stop myself from letting him have me
His nimble fingers open the button on my jeans easily before popping open his own and then pulling him self up onto the table so his knees rest either side of my hips.
When his lips touch mine once more I hear him hum as his kiss becomes deeper and more eager, his hands tug the straps of my bra over my shoulders and he replaces them with his mouth, his lips and tongue working the skin whilst his hands grab hold of my ass
"God I've been so desperate for this" he says against my neck "It's all I've thought about, having you under me again"
His hand cups my heat over my jeans as he nibbles at my chest, his tongue tracing a line down towards the soft peaks of my breasts and I know that if he takes me in his mouth I'm done for, there will be no second thought, my ability to say no will become a thing of the past and I will have no choice but to give every part of myself to him because I know what it's like to have him please me, the ability his body has to bring the kind of pleasure I thought people spoke about but never truly experienced
"Travis" I whisper as my hands move to his chest and I heave in a deep breath, begging common sense to take me over
"Don't stop me" he begs, his eyes dark and hooded "Please, please don't stop me"
"I have to" I say it whilst wriggling out from under his heavy body and grabbing my sweater and holding it against my chest. "I can't trust you"
He steps off of the table and stands gazing at me, the look of lust gone, replaced by something else, something sadder
"We spoke about this Taylor, I explained everything to you"
I just shake my head and put on my sweatshirt
"You can't hurt me the way you did then spin me a sob story and expect me to forget everything"
"It wasn't a sob story, it was the truth" he fastens his pants and then reclaims his t-shirt, throwing it over his head and huffing loudly before putting his hands on his hips and fixing me with his intense gaze once more.
"It's not enough. Everyone at the school knows what you did"
"What I was going to do. When we were together that was real just like when we made out on the promenade yesterday and this" he wiggles a finger between the two of us "This right now was real"
"It's not enough!" I reiterate, more loudly this time "This, sneaking around, making out, it's not enough, it doesn't fix what you did!"
I turn around and start walking home but immediately he's beside me, turning me to him by the shoulder
"Okay so what do I do? How do I fix this? Tell me what to do and I will do it but I... I can't do this on my own because I don't know what you want, what do you want me from me Taylor?"
"I don't know"
"I can't be a stranger and I can't just be your friend. Tell me what I have to do to get you back like I had you"
"You have to prove to me that I can trust you"
"And how do I do that?"
"That's up to you to work out but if you truely want me, not just as a joke or an easy lay then you're going to have to prove that you deserve me" I turn and walk away, my mind torn between believing he's being truthful and fearing what will be said at school tomorrow after what had happened between us yesterday and today
"I'm going to do it Taylor" he shouts and I feel my lips curl into an unwanted smile "You aren't going to know what hit you" I hear him walking behind me, a smile on his words "I'm going to come for you so hard the whole school's going to know it's for real" I bite down on my lip as he continues to follow me "One way or another Taylor Swift is going to be the first and last girlfriend I ever had!"
I duck my head and can't help but grin.
I hope to fuck Travis comes through and I don't end up flattened by humiliation and disappointment once more.
