I walk through the hallways of my school and for the first time ever I feel like a stranger. All eyes are on me and my cheeks are painted red with shame.
I was in relationship with Max for 4 months before we did those things and Jake might have been a drunken fumble but I'm 18, I know far more people that have done far worse and haven't been made to pay for it the way I am. Then again may be those people didn't make an enemy of Travis Kelce
Almost as soon as I reach my locker I see Travis stood in amongst a group of guys and girls, his lip is split and I can see bruises on his chin but he's laughing loudly telling them all about how he was jumped by 4 guys but got the better of all of them. The guys look in awe of the living legend whilst the girls paw at him and his wounds but the way his gaze keeps slipping towards me tells me something deeper, something darker than what he is admitting to is the truth.
"Hey, how are you?" MJ rubs my back gently and I just shrug, unsure that I trust myself to speak without breaking down. I haven't told anyone what happened when I went to Travis' house last night and in some weird kind of misplaced loyalty I don't think I ever will.
"Did you speak to him?" I just shake my head and open my locker, taking out some books and replacing them with others
"Hey Swift!" His voice makes my blood run cold as I freeze on the spot. I glance over briefly and I see Travis and his 'pack' all gazing at me "Have you contaminated anyone else's dick recently?"
I hear giggles and muffled words and then turn away as the tears that seem to have stayed with me since last night threaten to show my weakness once more.
"You're a loser Kelce do you know that?!" I don't know why but MJs words hurt me more than Travis' and I spin to face her
"Don't call him that!" I don't know why I say it but it just slips out and I see Travis' eyes narrowing
"He is! What he did to you yesterday..."
"Forget it"
" No I won't forget it and you shouldn't either"
In my mind I see and smell Travis' house, hear the rough voice of the blond and the looming figure of his father and I feel a sympathy that's overpowering my own pain.
"I said leave it MJ. If it makes him feel better to punish me instead of the people that deserve it..."
"What the fuck did you just say?" Travis is stalking towards me, his cheeks pink and his jaw tense. His hands are pulled into tight fists and for a second I actually believe he may be about to hit me but instead he grabs my arm and pulls me into an empty classroom. I hear MJ objecting but I promise her it's okay and I don't know why but I suddenly know that it will be.
*****************
I almost throw her into the room, she's so tiny and I'm used to much bigger opponents. I feel myself wanting to apologise but then I bite my tongue and slam the door before dropping the locker and walking as quickly as possible to where she's standing, her back against a table and her eyes wide.
"What the fuck was that?"
"What?" She's breathing quickly and I watch as her chest heaves against the plain v neck top she's wearing and my groin sparks with interest
"Making excuses for me"
"I wasn't"
"I don't need you to do that for me, I don't need you doing anything for me" I poke a finger into her chest to make my point and it lingers there longer than I intended, she feels warm to my touch and her perfume is wafting all around me, making me feel like I'm being transported to a different place, a place that's warm and soft and safe...
Fuck this!
I decide this was a very bad idea so turn to leave, I just put my hands on the lock when she speaks again. Her voice quiet and gentle and reaching places of me I built walls over a long time ago and I feel a war begin to rage inside me. Anger and emotion doing battle as they always do.
"I went to your house"
I don't say a word, I just stand with my back to her, silently begging her not to say another word but she heaves in a breath and I know she's about to continue
" I was angry with you about what you put on Instagram and I wanted to yell at you about it"
Still I stay silent. Still I say nothing
"I'm not angry with you anymore Travis"
My head is spinning I don't know what to say or do. She went to my house, met my 'family ' saw the hell my home had become and here she was saying nothing, not a word about how dirty the place was or how drunk my old man and his wife were just... 'I'm not angry at you any more'. Just like that I'm forgiven, just like that what I did to her, the way I humiliated her was forgotten.
My head doesn't know what to make of that. So I push up the lock, tear open the door and walk into the hallway, I look left then right looking for the closest exist, my nearest means of escape.
The grey painted walls of the school feel as though they are closing in around me and I need to be anywhere but here I need to be as far away from Taylor Swift as I can possibly get and I need to get as drunk as I can possibly be so I can stop feeling... this because whatever 'this' is, is consuming me and I can't breathe peoperly when I think about it.
"Travis..."
Her hand is on the shoulder of my black hoody and I spin around and gaze down at her, unable to speak, unable to assault her with my words and she must see the panic in my eyes because she takes my face in her hands and she's speaking but I can't hear a word she's saying as without thinking I grab her by the hips and pull her into me the way I have with so many different girls in the past but this is new, this is fire, consuming both my body and my mind.
Her eyes widen and her jaw hangs loose and all I can see are those lips... pink, full, tempting me, begging me.
I can't make sense of anything that's happening right now as her hands drop to my chest and she tries to push me away but I don't want to be away from her, I want to be closer, as close as I can possibly be and as the war rages throughout ever part of me I feel something higher up than my groin... my chest and that's enough to act as ice water to the fire as I release her hips and push her from me. She stumbles backward and falls to the ground crying out in pain and I want to reach for her, apologise to her but the moment is gone, that version of me is once again buried deep inside
"Keep the fuck away from me Taylor" I spit out "You are so fuckin weak you cant even stand up to me when I humiliate you in front of all your little school friends. Go poison someone else's dick because you aren't getting your filthy hands on mine"
And that's it. I'm walking away, down the hallway out of the school, one thing and one thing only on my mind to drink until I can't think or see or remember a God damn thing
