I drag myself down the stairs towards the kitchen, desperate for water and pain medication.
Last night had been the most humiliating night of my life and that's just the parts I can remember.
Why the hell did I go to Nate Noltes house party when I hadn't even been invited?
Why did I feel the need to dress as much like Britney as I possibly could?
I think about how much flesh I had on show and the number of men that had their eyes all over me and my skin crawls
And then I think about Travis, walking in to find me hysterical on the floor, his friends and foes all stood around watching.
Every part of me cringes as I think about the liability I have become to him
"Good morning" my mother smiles at me kindly but i'm still pissed that they wouldn't listen when I told them Travis wasn't involved in me taking the money so I move past her and grab some water from the refrigerator "How are you feeling this morning? You look very pale and tired Taylor"
"I'm fine!" I snap as she reaches for my forehead and I pull away from her harshly
"Taylor please have a seat, I'd like to talk to you about something" She runs her hand over her hair in a way that tells me i'm not going to like what she's about to say so I just shake my head and move towards the stairs "Taylor sit down!"
She raises her voice in a way I'm not used to and it causes me to pause, she's quickly standing next to me as she takes me by my arm and leads me to the living room and encouraged me to sit down before taking the seat next to me on the couch
"We know Travis was involved in taking the money"
"Oh not this again, how many times do I have to tell you it was me? Travis wasn't involved, it was all me!" I try to stand up but she grabs me by the arm and pulls me back to sit
"Your father went to his house yesterday Taylor"
My chest floods with fear as I begin to panic about what hell my father might have unleashed on Travis. If he spoke to his father... if his step-mother had invited my father inside.
I jump up from the couch and out of my mothers grasp "He had no right!"
"He had every right Taylor, he is worried sick about you, we both are"
"I have told you I am fine!"
"Travis admitted he was involved"
"What? You told him about the money?" My heart seems to come to a stop before suddenly beginning to hammer in my throat
"He gave your father the 300 dollars back and admitted everything. I wish you would have just been honest with us Taylor"
My father went to Travis' house and confronted him about something I did and he took the blame and handed over 300 dollars of his own money, it doesn't make sense.
I drop down onto the couch next to my mom and rest my head on my hands, none of this is making any sense. I saw Travis last night and he didn't mention anything, and then I think about the state he found me in and shame and embarrassment rush me and fill every part of me.
"Travis wasn't involved" I repeat, my voice little more than a whisper
"You don't have to cover for him, he admitted it"
"Travis wasn't involved" I say it again, louder this time
"Taylor..."
She looks at me as though she pities me, as though she has some superior knowledge and i'm just a little girl that doesn't know anything of any value.
"I took the money, I told you that, I told you Travis wasn't involved but you didn't believe me. Just like with everything else, you never believe a word I say. You met Travis, you liked him! One word from Mr. Quinn and that's all forgotten and from there on everything I tell you about him is treated like a lie" I feel my heart pounding and my eyes burning as I think how unfairly Travis has been treated by my family
"Mr. Quinn spoke to us because he was worried about you Taylor"
i leap up from the couch and turn to stare down at my mother, Dave Quinns actions fresh in my mind, his voice still in my ears, his breath still on my cheek
"You don't know a God damn thing about him other than he was a teacher at my school, you took every word he said as gospel, you believed him over me, your own child and look where it got us mom, look what happened" she stares up at me as though i'm a stranger talking a foreign language and then once again reaches gently for my hand
"Then why don't you tell me what happened baby"
The softness of her voice causes the first tears to fall as I tear myself away from her once more
"Why? So you can disbelieve me? So you can blame Travis?! So you can just wander over to his house whenever you feel like it and not realise that every time you do it you put his life in danger"
"Taylor, Mr. Quinn said Travis' father..."
"Don't tell me what Mr. Quinn said, tell me what you saw. You saw him when he came here for dinner, he was pale, he could barely walk, he had bruises"
"He gets into fights at school, Mr. Quinn said..."
"He wins those fights!, there isn't any one at our school that can get close to him, that isn't something to be proud of I understand that but those bruises weren't caused by another teenager, those bruises were caused by a fully grown man that takes his drunken rage and aggression out on his 18 year old son and I told you that, I told you and daddy that and what did you do? You turned your back on him, left him to deal with it because 'Mr. Quinn' said whatever he said. Do you know who holds Travis when his father kicks and punches and strangles him? ME! he has no mother, no family to protect him, it's just me and you have gone out of your way to take me from him, all because 'Mr. Quinn' said"
"Taylor calm down"
But I can't calm down, everything Dave Quinn ever said to me, to my parents and about Travis is screaming in my ears
"You don't know Dave Quinn, you don't know what he's capable of, what he's done"
"Then tell me!" My mom is on her feet and grabs me by both shoulders "Taylor, please, please just tell me"
"I can't..."
"Please baby!!!"
"I CAN'T!!!"
my mothers arms go around me as she pulls me into her, hushing me and stroking me but i feel my knees give way as i drop to the ground and again she's next to me, clutching me tightly as I cry and then I realise the cries aren't only coming from me, they're coming from her too
