Travis Kelce liked your photo
It was the third photo I had posted since last night and the third photo Travis had liked almost immediately, he was yet to comment but each selfie I took and posted I took just for him. The smile was for him, the seductive look was for him I just hope he realises that, and notices the photo of the two of us that sits in the frame next to my bed.
My therapist said dating was out for a while so that I could focus on readjusting to my old life but she didn't say anything about internet flirting, if that's what you could even call it.
And then the over thinking begins to kick in, maybe he's bored and stalking Insta because he has nothing else to do, maybe he's liking my pictures because he feels sorry for me, 3 months gone and pretty much everyone has forgotten I ever existed.
MJ is the only 'friend' that has checked in and our conversations are slow and difficult, her guilt over what happened with Dave Quinn tainting every interaction we have.
My phone beeps and I look down at it, grinning immediately when I see it's a DM from Travis
TK- Welcome home
It's no declaration of love but it's a start
TS- Thank you 😊
It's no 'I missed you so much sometimes I couldn't breathe' but again, it's a start and after 3 months apart I will take any contact with him that I can get
TK- You look well (and hot 🤤)
I actually laugh out loud, typical Travis. No tiptoeing around just blunt and to the point and I realise I missed that so much I want to cry for every day I lived without it
TS- Thank you 😊
TK- You're hot when you blush too
TS- How do you know I'm blushing?
TK- You always blush when I come on to you
TS- Oh is that what you are doing?
TK- Absolutely, you've been gone 3 months, do you know how long that is in guy years?
TS- No
TK- Too long ❤️
I fall backwards into my bed and stare up at the ceiling, this is what I have been missing for the past 3 months, I may have grown and worked on my personal strength and learnt to be more insightful but I still felt cold and empty and now I know why, it was Travis I needed to fill me up, him and the little moments like internet flirting that wicked plans and dirty teachers and eating disorders took from us.
I want Travis but I want him like this, right back at square one. The flirting then the dating, the kissing then the touching I want every second we never had first time round
*************************
"Are you taking another selfie?"
Cez rolls his eyes and turns on the T.V and I don't even bother to confirm it
"This is the girl you dated right?"
"Yup"
"First girlfriend?"
"Only girlfriend" I correct him
"You kissed her?"
"Yup"
"Fucked her?"
I shoot up straight from my lounging position and glare at my room mate "don't say it like that"
"Okay fine. You made love to her?"
"Don't say it like that either"
"Fine! But you get my point. You had an adult relationship with her and now you're back to messaging on Instagram and sending selfies. Fully clothed selfies at that. What's up with that?"
I lounge back on the sofa and hit send
"She's been through a rough time, I just want her to have everything she wants and right now what she wants is everything I didn't give her the first time we were together"
Taylor sends back the cat emoji with heart eyes in response to my selfie and I can't help but grin at the simple yellow sign
"You've got it bad" Says Cez settling on a soccer match for us to watch
"The worst" I confirm and then push my phone into my pocket
"Don't you just want to go over there and grab her and take her up against a wall or something instead of sitting here sending her pictures of your every so pretty face?"
"Of course I do" I had imagined doing just that on multiple occasions, usually when I was in the shower and my right hand was busy "But when we first got together it was in messy circumstances, she wants the fairytale version of that right now and I'm happy to give that to her"
"As long as you get to 'give it to her' properly at some point. Right?" He laughs and shoves a handful of chips into his mouth and I just roll my eyes and then close them, remembering how it felt to run my hands over Taylors I naked body, the scent of her skin, the taste of her mouth, the taste of her sex...
Fuck!
"I'm going to take a shower" I announce, pushing myself off the sofa and trying to disguise what I have going on in my pants
don't
"You keep the relationship to just DMs and selfies and we are going to go bankrupt from paying for you to have so many showers" he laughs again and I punch him in the arm as I walk past knowing he's right.
I have to find a way to move this relationship on I need to be able to see her and touch her. I need to be able to have her again, all of her.
