My eyes open and I quickly try to get my bearings in the darkness. I hold my breath and listen for any sign of my dad or Mary. There's no fighting, no fucking, no old woman sneaking into my room, so I release my breath and try to remember what the hell had gone on in the last 12 hours.
A small snort followed by a snuffled breath hits my throat and for the first time I'm aware that I'm not alone in this bed. I look down and my breath catches at what I see. Resting on my chest, surrounded by a sea of blind hair is the most perfect face I have ever seen in my life. Her full lips, pursed together beneath her perfectly shaped nose and her eyelids dropped over what I know to be the most crystal clear shade of blue I ever saw.
Her arm lays over my stomach holding me tight as I remember lying in a similar position, my head on her chest as she whispered words and sounds I had waited my whole life to hear.
Taylor...
I had called her that whilst I cried into her chest and the word made something inside me warm just at the thought of it.
My Taylor...
I smile and then kiss her forehead.
I should be going, it's dark outside which means her parents and sister are back and asleep inside the house. I should sneak downstairs and head back to the hell that is my home but I don't want to leave her, I don't want to move from this warm spot on her bed, with her warm arms wrapped around my stomach and her warm breath blowing against my neck.
I kiss her forehead again and then her cheek then her nose, loving the feel of her soft skin against my lips.
My Taylor...
I gently wriggle myself down so our faces are next to each other and I just lay there and watch her sleep. So innocent, no idea of the things I have said or the plan I had made.
I kiss her cheek once more and then her lips, unable to resist them any longer. It takes a second or two before I realise the kiss is being reciprocated.
She's awake.
I turn on to my side and slide a hand over her waist pulling her closer to me and I feel her hand move over my shoulder and into my hair as she pulls me gently to her.
I move my mouth and my tongue in a way I hope let's her know just how thankful I am to her and for her.
**********************
I don't know how long Travis and I have been making out, somewhere between 5 seconds and 5 hours but I have never been closer to heaven ever before in my life. His fingers grip onto my waist and the feel of his tongue against mine takes me back to the last time we lay on this bed together.
There's an intense ache throbbing between my legs and I know he knows just how to relieve it but for some reason after everything that's happened between us tonight that doesn't seem enough.
I want Travis, all parts of him in every way I can get them. The battered and damaged parts he keeps in the cavity of his chest, the harsh and protective parts he wears to face the world and the beautiful open parts he shows only to me.
I want to give him what no one has given him before, love, in whatever form I can and tonight I know it has to be in the form of my body because no matter my feelings for him I know I'm not in love with him yet.
I pull away slightly and then sit up, gripping the fabric of my tank top and taking a breath. I watch as his eyes widen and he takes his lip between his teeth.
"Taylor..."
"I want to" I whisper in reassurance as I take one more breath and remove the fabric that covers my chest, I hadn't worn a bra tonight and I see his eyes darken as he gazes at my naked breasts for the first time
"Fuck" he whispers
"Your turn"
He takes no time in taking his white t-shirt off and throwing it to the floor before circling his arms around my back and pulling our naked chests together before dipping his head and beginning to kiss me once again
"Lie down" he instructs me and I immediately do as he says as he lies over me, kissing my mouth and then trailing kisses down my throat to my chest. He takes his time kissing the soft flesh of my breasts without ever touching the part I'm so desperate to feel him on. "Is this okay?" I nod my head, afraid that if I open my mouth he will hear the sound of my heart hammering in my throat.
Gently he lowers his head and takes my nipple between his pillowy lips and I can't stop my hips from reacting as I tangle my fingers in his hair holding him to me as his lips kiss and nip and he takes my other nipple between his fingers
"Oh my God!"
he raises his mouth and begins kissing me once more, but this time it's hotter and more raw, his lips move desperately over mine as his fingers nip and roll both nipples at once and the throb between my legs becomes so intense it almost hurts. "I want you" I manage to say against his lips "All of you"
"Are you sure?" His words come out in pants against my mouth and I nod with so much enthusiasm he smirks, aware of what he's doing to me "Its your first time Taylor, once you give me this you can never take it back I need to know that I'm the guy that deserves you"
"Everything I'm giving to you if for you. I want you to have it, I want you to have me. You have had so much you don't deserve but I'm the one thing you definitely do deserve"
Again he moves his lips to mine. Kissing me slowly and then moving to his wallet that he dumped with his keys on my dresser. Taking out a small packet I close my eyes and let the enormousness of the moment sink in. I am about to have sex for the first time, I am about to give my virginity to this man and as I search my entire being, I can't find one tiny bit of doubt.
This was it, he was it, he was mine and I was about to become his.
