the game

luke

on my way back to base i notice my score. it's gone up significantly. i gulp down the nervous frenzy this inspires. they're going to know i can transfer energy between humans soon. that's the last piece the government needs. they'd be using me as a key. i can already feel myself shaking.

and it doesn't get better. i shake all the way to the medical bay, shrugging it off and praying it goes away. it doesn't. i can't shake it. and the vision of ken's mom dying grinds into my mind like a parasite. i'm going to end up just like all of the other insects here. insects that murder for fun. i'm almost at the medical bay when i bump head long into kally.

i stumble backwards and hit the ground hard.

"sorry," i mutter, scrambling to my feet.

she stares at me hard.

"you okay?" kally's voice is calming like a salve. maybe i am overreacting. maybe everything will turn. out fine. i'm so surprised by my sense of peace that subconsciously i pull her into me and hug her. she smells of coconut sunscreen and salt water. my dad took me there one time, in the human world to see the ocean. i wish we were there now.

but we're not. and in the moment i realize we're not i push her away, my hands still clutching her shoulders. i let go slowly.

"ken doesn't need katie any more," i say and pull further away.

"is that why your score has been climbing?" she steps towards me. i take another step back. i'm not really in the mood to be around people. i feel anxious and small, woefully underprepared for my future that has looked the same for so long.

"kally, ken will be back soon. and then we can all go back to the way it was. you love him and i'm the blank who tags along," i find myself itching to run. get as far away from any human interaction as i can.

"do you really want that?" kally looks sad.

"want what?" i don't mean it, but the words are angry.

"i guess not," and then she walks away. i'm left stunned in the middle of the hallway. isn't this what i asked for? for her to leave? but i hurt her. i saw it in her eyes. the only question is why. it's not like anything has changed that would make the past not enjoyable. i mean, i'm sure now that ken's free she'll go after him. i'm a blank. i'll never be a lover and i'll never be a friend. even if she says she doesn't feel that way now i know it'll change when he's back.