the game

ken

if i thought that training every day would bring us closer i was worse than wrong. she is fully consumed by getting stronger and it's terrifying. i haven't told her this but she has been improving exponentially since we started. we have two days left and i'm terrified of what i've created.

the worst part is knowing that everything i do to strengthen her will weaken me in the long run. i know that she's my enemy. i'm not stupid. my issue now is that i didn't see her improving so fast.

on a scale of one to ten i am a solid eight in power. right now i would say that she's at a six. when i started a week and a half ago she was a three out of ten. and her power grows stronger as her control of it grows. she's a monster and she doesn't even know it.

she doesn't talk other than to ask how to improve if she needs it. i've been correcting her form down to a negligible degree. other than that she keeps to herself. any time that she spends with me she focuses on her work. if i ask her something off topic she just segways back.

it feels like she's getting exactly what she wants and i'm sitting here like a pipe hose to her dream. i'm the one she's stepping on to get there. stepping on every person that's died before because of what her mom did. the traitor.

and here i am, betraying my people by association. the next level is days away. it feels like i'm in the same place i was in after last level. it feels like i'm powerless. helpless to a future i don't want and i don't know.

"alright, listen here," i can't take it anymore. "if you're going to use me to grow i need something in return. you won't even talk to me," she's standing in front of me with this look in her eyes. a measuring look.

"the more i know about you the harder it will be to let you go," she says it without ceremony, almost without emotion. strictly logical.

"so then i won't tell you anything about me, how's that? then you can let me go when you need to?" why do her words anger me so. why do they make my heart hurt. what does she mean?

"i don't leave people," she replies. "i'm tired, let's end early today," she smiles and walks towards the training room door. i reach out and grab her arm. i don't know why. i don't know what i want to accomplish.

"i'm loyal to a fault," i snap. there's this balloon in my chest that's expanding through my rib cage. it's cracking my bones.

she smiles again, but it doesn't meet her eyes.

"good night," and she pulls her arm away. i gulp, standing alone in the training room.

what happened to her? who hurt her? what did they do?