the game

doused in reality

KATIE

My heart throbs as I walk down the hall. I feel alone. More than I did last year.

I open my door and flop onto my bed. Everyone is watching me. Everyone.

And then there's a pounding fist on my door. I sigh and open the door.

"It's Ken," Amy is pulling Ken through my doorway and onto the ground.

He's sweating all over and he's shaking.

"I gotta go," Amy races back out of the door. And I'm alone with him.

"So," I sit down and use my fingers to rake through his hair.

"What happened to you," I ask. His fevered eyes look at me.

"You look pretty when you're worried about me," he lays his head in my lap and lets me run my fingers through his hair.

He takes the edge of my powers. They make me buzz all day. They make me feel like there's so much inside that needs to be out. And then he comes in. And calms that ocean.

I sigh.

What the hell am I doing?

I don't stop running my hands through his hair until he falls asleep.

I sigh and look at my watch. I'm still getting used to how to call people on the watch.

"Amy come here," I spit.

It takes her fifteen minutes to get there.

"You really couldn't stay?" My jaw clenches as I whisper.

"Nope," she sighs.

"What happened to him?" I ask.

She sighs.

"He was pouring in energy for a class and he collapsed earlier today. He got up and went to the nurse and I thought everything was okay. But then I found him in the living room on the couch. I thought he was napping until I saw he was sweating and looked all clammy and stuff. That's when I thought I should bring him to you," she concludes with a smile.

I'm dumbfounded.

"Why?"
"I don't know. Doesn't he get better when he holds your hand? I mean look at the poor sucker," Amy points out ken. His hand is reaching towards mine because I pulled away.

"Katie," it's a whisper from Ken.

I sigh.

"Can't you just stay here with me? I don't like being alone with, you know—"

"Katie," it's Ken again, louder.

I walk over, sit down and run my hands through his hair again. He calms down.

His face falls back into a calm sleep.

"Where did you go?" He asks.

I blink.

For some reason during these times I'm weak to him. I know I shouldn't care but I do. It's when he sounds too tired, too spent to fake it.

"Amy," and that's exactly why he and I can't be alone. Because there's a part of him that means what he says. And I see how much he wants to be good. And he can't. Meanwhile I keep being told my mom is killing the world. And I know she's the only one going out of her way to save it. I have a gut feeling I'm sent to save this place but I don't have the energy to care. And he's burning the world and thinks he's saving it.

And that.

That's it.

I can't sit in that truth for too long.