Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

Drown

I am drowning
Choking
Paper pads my wounds
Ink stifles my cries
I am drifting in and out on a current of words
On an ocean of things, I will never be brave enough to say
Stories
Characters
Hopes
Dreams
A life that is sinking with me
I watch my ship burn
Dip deeper and deeper into the sea of possibilities that are wrought with risks
Risks I weigh day in and out on a scale made out of my reputation
Is it worth it?
What if I fail?
I walk along a tightrope I can never choose one side or the other because swaying one way is certain damnation
There are no second chances in my family
I walk the fine line high up in the air always careful to stay neutral in all matters so that no one knows what I am for or against
This is how I survive
Surely too this is how I shall die
Playing both sides rots me away from my core
I pretend to side with you both
I pretend your points are valid
I pretend to want to live
I pretend to be happy
I pretend to study
I pretend!
I pretend!!
I pretend!!!
God, this is sick
I am so good at this game
I am so good at playing you all
Won't you pretend with me?
Walk the line with me
Come and swim in my sea
Come and drown with me