Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

This Love is Cancerous

I love my father

Like an alcoholic loves whiskey

I love him because it is a habit

And along the way I have fooled myself into thinking that I need him

That I am nothing without him and that I can't make it on my own

My father is a cancer

A disease in a vital organ

I want to excise the sickness 

Rid myself of it

But you cannot live without a heart

And that is what my father is

I try to love him less

I try and pump my own blood

But I fail

He tells a joke

Gives me an ounce of affection or praise

He tells me he loves me

And I forget all of the hurt and return to the bottle

A girl loves her father

A girl needs her heart

To lose one is to lose the other

 I cannot live with him

I cannot live without.