Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

To Mom

Mom,
This is goodbye.
I decided today was the day.
When I finally stop trying.
I am done putting in effort when you won't.
I am done telling you goodnight and getting only a one-word reply.
I am through leaving you little notes of encouragement.
I am done buying you little gifts you never appreciate.
I am done with the good morning texts, the ones that go unanswered because you muted my number (yeah I found out).
I am tired of hating you.
I am tired of this.
Tired of us.
I am done watching you act like you don't have a favorite daughter.
Done rationalizing the things you did to me and what you never did.
Done with forcing myself to believe that you still love me.
It's okay.
I know you don't.
It's time we stop pretending.
You quit acting like the mother of the fucking year.
And I will quit waiting for you to save me.
This is goodbye, Mom, because I know deep inside my heart that this is a one-sided relationship.
If I quit that's the end of us.
So goodbye Mom, I hope you have a great life and that you find nothing but good things.
I hope you have someone who loves you like I did.
Like I do.
--MK.