Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

Tired

Today I looked at myself in the mirror 

I saw a dark shape under my eyes 

I thought my mascara had smudged so I grabbed a tissue 

It wouldn't come off 

In horror I stood there, frozen, in the bathroom of my office looking at my reflection 

Really looking 

I saw me

The basic makeup of my face 

My green eyes

My nose 

My skin covered lightly in foundation which I'd so expertly applied that morning 

But that's when I began to notice 

Just how tired I looked 

The dark circles under my eyes 

How long had they been there?

The acne across my cheeks from the makeup that I wore like armor 

The hollow look in my eyes

The battle waging inside was finally starting to show and I was helpless to stop it.

This, here and now, my hair and makeup done in my best clothes with my fakest smiles was the best I had to give

And now I couldn't hide the brokenness from leaching out.

Yeah, I looked tired, but damn I felt it too.