Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

Hurt Myself

I want to hurt myself tonight
Run a blade along my wrist
Feel the sting
The release
But all too soon the numbness will return
Then the guilt will roll in
I want to hurt myself tonight
I want all of my pain to become visible
I want every single one of my weaknesses to mark my skin
I want the world to see my faults as clearly as I do
I want the thoughts and panic that clutter my mind out of my head
I want the worry to read like a tapestry on my body
I want to hurt myself tonight
But I won't
Instead, I will use a pen as my blade
Ink as my blood
I will pour out my pain onto this page
I will conjure words and phrases from the burning agony inside of me
So tonight I will write.