Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

I don't understand

There is a lot in this world that I can't seem to comprehend.
Like how people can abuse their children
Their tiny eyes hollow in the hallways of my clinic
How people can hate strangers just for their appearance
Hatred thick in the air
But the thing which baffles me the most is my mother
My mother who claims to love me as lies drip from her lips
My mother who will find any excuse not to trouble herself with me
My mother the keeper of my secrets
My mother
You used to be my everything then you turned into a stranger overnight
Don't you miss us
The relationship we used to have
Don't you miss knowing about my life and being there for me
I will never understand you
And how you could watch my suffering and let it continue
I will never understand the resentment you have towards me when you yourself gave me life
I will never understand your avoidance of me, as if I am ignored like a problem I will go away
I don't understand how can you can fuck my over time and time again
How you treat me like I am disposable
I don't want to understand you
To take your side
I don't want to forgive you
So I won't
I don't understand you now and I hope I never will