Musings on Life from a Dead Girl

Insanity

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result.
Unfortunately I approach my family in this way.
Be kind and they will be kind.
Wait by the door and they will greet you.
Leave small gifts and notes of encouragement around for them to find and they will finally acknowledge your existence.
I must be insane or just plain stupid.
My mom will never love me.
My father's love will never be without pain.
My sister will never treat me like I am a person.
They will never change.
They will never love me the way I need them to.
I will always be that little girl crying on her birthday because no one did anything.
I will always be the graduate who didn't deserve valedictorian according to her father.
I will always be the sister that her friends make fun of.
The one she is embarrassed by.
I will always be the daughter that watched her mother slam the door in her face when she reached out for help.
I am insane.
I must be to believe these people.
The people that are supposed to love me unconditionally.
Could ever change.
Be better than what they are.
I must be insane to think that even for a moment that they could love me.
The real me.
Want me.