Serendipity (Book 1)

All I Ever Wanted by Coyote Laughs

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All I Ever Wanted by Coyote Laughs

TV » iCarly
Rated: K+
Language: English
Genre: Hurt/Comfort & Romance
Characters: Freddie B., Sam P.
Words: 1,040
Published: Sep 23, 2010

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[ s o n g - f i c ]

The hum of the Seattle morning sings to us a gentle lullaby. She sleeps quietly in my arms. Her face is particularly angelic with her curly blonde locks providing a golden halo. I smile to myself and gently run my fingers along her face. There are so many things I want to say, how much I need, I want, this blonde demon. But she would just laugh and scoff, not believing a single word I say. And so I say them when she's asleep, pretending that she's awake, and hoping one day that the words will get through that thick skull of hers.

The world is full of things to be afraid of, but her greatest fear is that she will turn out just like her mother. With me as her anchor, I know she won't. She's been changing for the better ever since I've known her, and if fills me with happiness that she's better for knowing me. I'm content in the knowledge that I am turning into my father, because I know he loved my mother and I until the day he died.

Though everything may sound so perfect, it's not. A simple letter lies between us, a gulf that threatens to swallow and destroy our relationship. We tell each other quietly that it changes nothing between us. It's easy because we're both so young, and we can fool ourselves into believing it. But we've been lying, because it changes everything.

I sigh sadly and turn my eyes from her, the sight of her causing a quiet ache in my heart. I feel my pulse quicken as I think about shouting out to the world how I feel about her. But I don't. I lean over and whisper softly, "All I ever wanted, dear, is in my arms right now... " My words have an effect on her, as her wonderful smile spreads across her perfect face. She burrows even closer to me and my arms wrap her even tighter, until the two of us have become one. "Forever," I sigh softly into her ear.

I shudder, the sadness beginning to well up in my chest, because I know that is a lie.

I was leaving for college, and she had volunteered to take me to the train station. She had been quiet all day and night. I tried to speak several times on the way to the station, but my breath kept catching in my throat. Though the train station was bustling full of people, we might as well be alone. I only had eyes for her, and she, me. The silence between us that was normally comfortable had become strained. She looked down and took a deep breath. Then suddenly she was pressed against me, her face buried in my chest. "Just hold me..." she mumbled into my chest. My arms instinctively wrapped around her, protectively holding her. I was surprised at her sudden display of vulnerability. I held her tight, breathing her scent in, reveling in the closeness between us. My hand moved to her chin, and gently brought her face up. Sad eyes, the colour of a cloudless sky, glistening with tears, looked up at mine. She smiled sadly at me, her lips parted invitingly. I leaned towards her and gently kissed her lips.

"I love you," I softly whispered.

She looked up at me. "I love you, too." She quietly replied.

I leaned down to her ear. "Forever."

I remembered the night we were married. Though we had fumbled around during our dating years, we had never actually had sex. So we both came to the bridal bed nervous as all hell. But nature took its course, and with the fumbling and the laughing together and finally getting everything to work correctly, that first night was amazing. I whispered into her ear that night that I didn't think I could love her anymore than I did right then.

I lied.

Everyday, every moment I spent with her, I learned that I loved her even more.

I gaze lovingly at her face as the sun softly brushes his rays across across the Seattle skyline. I close my eyes and think about my greatest fear. That I will lose what I have right now. My fear rears up and threatens to overwhelm me. I look down at her sleeping form and stifle down my worries. Our love has always been about defying the odds. How could someone like her love a nub like me? And how could someone like me fall for such an aggressive demon like her? We've defied the odds over and over again, and I know we'll do it this one last time.

I wake her up with a soft kiss on her lips and whisper my normal morning greeting "All I ever wanted, dear..."

She slowly opens her blue, blue eyes and stares into my brown ones. She knows instantly what I've been thinking about, and her eyes begin to well up with tears. A trembling hand touches my face. "Tell me how long you'll stay with me?" Her face twists up and I feel my heart break as one tear makes a path down her beautiful cheek.

I know that she cries during the night thinking about that same question. I know the nightmares that haunt her sleep. All I can do is hold her tight and try to make her forget about it until the dawn.

I taste her salty, sad tears as I kiss them away. I smile softly down at her, and gently say, "Don't cry... please don't cry... Because you already know the answer..." I lean over and whisper tenderly into her ear.

"Forever..."

***
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