Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

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Dick Master:
Imagine having your soul sucked out of your ass.
Big Ass Forehead:
HOLY SHIT! I'D BE SO FUCKING HARD!
Screen Queen:
... Someone get Ted Bundy back here... These two assholes need therapy.
Lilith:
... They're beyond help.
Morana:
Who would suck a soul out of an ass anyway? Fucking gross.
Roo:
From personal experience, when I extract souls, I'm just able to do it. It doesn't have to be through a specific hole.
Daddy Issues:
I'm sorry... When you fucking what?
Roo:
When I extract souls. How do you think I became one with Eve? Or, wait... If we're one, would that mean I became one with myself? Fuck, now I'm confused.
Vagina:
Are you on drugs?
Roo:
... Maybe.
Harder Daddy:
BITCH! GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE BROWNIES!
Two Dicks:
... Are they the journey brownies again?
Short King:
I'm exiting the building.
Harder Daddy:
Fuck no. It's just weed. And also... Why did we make brownies again? We could put this in so many things.
Danger Tits:
... There is absolutely nothing wrong with fucking brownies.
Squeak:
... Does anyone like blondies? Am I the only one who thinks they taste like shit?
Mouth:
No... Those are fucking terrible.
Pop My Cherri:
Honestly... There's nothing better than a brownie.
Harder Daddy:
How about a slutty brownie?
Two Dicks:
Gross!
Pear:
... What do you think a slutty brownie is dumbass?
STAB:
A brownie that has a high body count... Especially if they screw cookies.
Elle:
LMFAO, I mean, if a brownie screwed a cookie, you would get a slutty brownie.
Buzz Buzz:
... Would you shut up? I'm in the middle of a meeting, and I don't want to start craving brownies!
Short King:
What meeting?
Buzz Buzz:
... Some asshole is trying to get my permission to do... Something. Honestly, I'm not even paying attention because their idea is fucking stupid.
Daddy Issues:
You should at least give them a chance.
Vagina:
... What if their idea really is stupid though?
Daddy Issues:
They should still get a chance.
Buzz Buzz:
Hmmm... No.
Kayden:
Where is Chaggie anyway?
Vagina:
... That is an ugly ship name. Also, honeymoon. Not telling any of you fuckers because you might show up and ruin it.
Daddy Issues:
We decided to go to Earth for our honeymoon. We're in Paris right now, but we're going to different places.
Whiskers:
Wow... Good job trying to keep that a secret.
Vagina:
Yeah... I should've known better.
Screen Queen:
SEND PICS BITCHES!
Danger Tits:
... That is not how you ask for shit.
Screen Queen:
PLEASE FUCKING SEND PICS BITCHES! And, I wasn't asking.
Daddy Issues:
I know it's our honeymoon, but... I keep finding souvenirs that remind me of all of you, so... We're bringing back souvenirs!
Lilith:
... You are too nice for your own good. Focus on yourself and your wife!
Vagina:
... I'm so glad we agree on that.
Daddy Issues:
... Oh.
Vagina:
Well shit... She just left.
Mouth:
Because you were right?
Danger Tits:
OK, some of you are dramatic as fuck. Let's not forget a certain someone refused to talk to me because I said she was being insufferable in a meeting.
Screen Queen:
Bitch... You fucking cried because I said I loved you. LMAO
Harder Daddy:
I'll fucking own up to it. I am pretty damn dramatic, and I'm good at it.
Whiskers:
... Yeah, I'd know. I've witnessed a lot.
Rosie:
Ugh, you wanna know who's ridiculously dramatic? Alastor's weird friend Mimzy. She once found out Alastor and I were in the area and having lunch, and she lost her shit because we didn't invite her, despite us not knowing she was in the same area. We only found out because she showed up, flipped over our entire table and began screaming.
Freaky Face:
Her and I haven't spoken since she caused a scene at the hotel.
Short King:
... She was annoying as hell.
Elle:
... She flipped over an entire table just because she didn't get an invite? What a little bitch.
Kayden:
As someone who has experience with flipping a table over something... I agree.
Roo:
You fucking surprise me with shit daily. Why did you flip a table?
Kayden:
It was when I was alive. My parents kind of sucked and treated me... Let's say poorly. They took me out to dinner to apparently apologize, but it ended up being some trap to cause me to get overstimulated and to embarrass me in front of their co-workers. I flipped the table and caused it to hit my mother in the face, and well... It kind of broke her nose, and my dad's foot was crushed. It was a big table, and I still don't know how I flipped it.
Pear:
... You and I need to hang out more. I need more stories like that in my life
Pop My Cherri:
Fucking honestly. We need daily stories from you about your life.
Dick Master:
Yeah, it finally makes you more interesting.
Screen Queen:
No one asked for your fucking input.
Big Ass Forehead:
What's up your ass today?
Screen Queen:
Nothing. Unlike you, I'm not into anal.
Two Dicks:
... What is he not into?
Big Ass Forehead:
Vanilla shit.
STAB:
... That's not shocking.
Morana:
... We should be able to vote on removing someone's status as an overlord.
Carfight:
Agreed. Unanimous vote...
Big Ass Forehead:
It wouldn't be unanimous.
Screen Queen:
It would... You can't vote to keep your status. LMAO
Short King:
Damn... I wish that's how it worked.
Lilith:
... You're fucking Lucifer. Can't you just... Snap and change the rules dumbass?
Short King:
DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR HUSBAND WOMAN!
Short King:
That's what I'd say if I were an asshole like Adam. LMFAO
Dick Master:
... Whatever. I thought you came to your senses for a second.
Roo:
Go fuck yourself.
Vagina:
Update... I found Charlie.
Whiskers:
I kind of forgot about her honestly.
Squeak:
Is she OK?
Daddy Issues:
I'm fine. I overreacted. Sorry.
Freaky Face:
... Where did you find her?
Vagina:
... Next to some weird shop. I'm not even sure what they sell.
STAB:
Like when I got that giant thing at Lu Lu World?
Daddy Issues:
Yeah... I don't know what the stuff is inside, and honestly... I don't know if I want to.
Big Ass Forehead:
IT'S PROBABLY SEX TOYS!
Elle:
Is that all you think about?
Big Ass Forehead:
... Yes.