Screen Queen:
HELP! I FUCKED UP!
Pop My Cherri:
What? Did you post something and it only got 10 likes? LMAO
Screen Queen:
I FUCKED SOMEONE! That whole relationship thing I've been wrapped up in has been so confusing and last night... I may have panicked and screwed someone. Now I'm worried that I've ruined things and I didn't mean to. What do I do?
Danger Tits:
Well, one thing's for sure... Don't send that in a group chat with me in it while you've been actively avoiding me. LMAO
Two Dicks:
... Why is she sobbing now?
Dick Master:
HA! SHE CHEATED!
Danger Tits:
Considering our relationship still isn't official or something... She didn't cheat and I'm confused about why she's upset.
Whiskers:
From what I'm gathering while hearing her mumble while sobbing... She thinks she somehow betrayed you and thinks you're going to be mad and reject her.
Danger Tits:
... Do I need to come downstairs? I'm here, but I'm upstairs helping @Vagina with something.
Daddy Issues:
You? Helping Vaggie with something? What the hell are you two doing?
Vagina:
Wedding related shit. I realized she's the closest I have to family, as fucking weird as that is, so I asked her for help.
Mouth:
Well, @DangerTits please hurry the fuck up and get downstairs. This bitch won't stop sobbing.
Screen Queen:
NO! Don't make her come down here. I messed up. She shouldn't have to deal with someone who betrayed her.
Vagina:
... She's on her way down there. We'll finish our shit up later.
Pear:
OK, while the emotional bitch is being dealt with... Have you fuckers ever heard of Salad Fingers? I forgot about it until I just stumbled upon it again.
Short King:
I like rusty spoons! 🥄
Lilith:
I like to touch them. 👉🏼
Roo:
The feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic... 😋
Whiskers:
What the actual fuck was that?
Big Ass Forehead:
I will now broadcast Salad Fingers.
Carfight:
... I would say you need better hobbies, but I'd rather you broadcast that than some random people having sex.
Pop My Cherri:
Why did I just remember that Alastor once said that Vox tried to bribe Carmine with sex? LMFAO
Harder Daddy:
OK, but... Did it work?
Carfight:
... What do you think?
Pear:
Good point... Why would you ever screw that?
Big Ass Forehead:
Honestly... Why would I ever screw an old hag?
Pear:
I wasn't talking to you asshole.
Harder Daddy:
Seriously... I'm gay as shit and would just about fuck anyone, but I'd never screw a TV.
Two Dicks:
Speaking of sexual intercourse, who else hears those noises?
Whiskers:
It's the mating of Heaven and Hell again.
Vagina:
... @ScreenQueen SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Daddy Issues:
Leave them alone. She probably needed that... Stress relief.
Lilith:
Yeah, is that what we're calling it?
Freaky Face:
Why are you all so vulgar today?
Dick Master:
COCK!
Harder Daddy:
ANAL BEADS!
Mouth:
VIBRATER!
Vagina:
I EAT PUSSY!
Squeak:
You're all so mean.
Daddy Issues:
Vaggie, why did you have to join in?
Vagina:
... I don't like Alastor. LMAO
Big Ass Forehead:
SAME! FUCK ALASTOR!
Vagina:
On second thought... @FreakyFace Truce? LMAO
Freaky Face:
... I don't care.
Kayden:
... They're getting louder.
Lilith:
Let them continue... Damn, she is loud.
Pear:
Cherri... Pounding on that door is not a good idea.
Danger Tits:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pop My Cherri:
TELL YOUR FUCK BUDDY TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Danger Tits:
... I'm gonna shut you the fuck up.
Kayden:
And now she's running...
Roo:
LMAO, looks like someone can barely stand. Did you have fun~?
Screen Queen:
... Shut the fuck up.
Roo:
I'll consider it... As soon as you get up and take a few steps without collapsing.
Screen Queen:
I'm gonna kick your ass.
Mouth:
... And she fell. LMAO
Dick Master:
Weak bitch.
Harder Daddy:
How about you get fucked so hard in the ass that you can't fucking sit, stand, or even lay down comfortably. Then, you can say shit.
Dick Master:
I'M NOT GAY!
Whiskers:
And I'm not a drunk. See, that's how stupid lying sounds.
Dick Master:
I'M NOT LYING YOU ALCOHOLIC BITCH!
Squeak:
... What about that thing with Saint Peter?
Dick Master:
I'm fucking done.
Screen Queen:
For fucks sake... Can someone help me up?
Two Dicks:
No. My eggs are telling me stories. They're all bullshit, but I listen to my eggies.
Pop My Cherri:
@DangerTits GET OFF MY ASS AND GO HELP YOUR BITCH!
Danger Tits:
She's still not my responsibility.
Screen Queen:
Please?
Danger Tits:
... I'm coming.
Vagina:
... Damn, never thought anyone would tell you what to do... Besides Adam back in the day. LMAO
Danger Tits:
I've made mistakes in my past... Clearly.
Dick Master:
Yeah... Your biggest mistakes were letting me get stabbed, and betraying me. You were my main bitch.
Danger Tits:
Cry me a fucking river.
Pear:
Are you seriously walking around with that bitch on your back?
Daddy Issues:
It's kind of sweet. :)
Screen Queen:
Do you guys remember ages ago when I said I wanted a relationship with someone loyal as fuck? I think I got that.
Big Ass Forehead:
If only your ass could stay loyal.
Carfight:
Your input is unnecessary.
Harder Daddy:
That makes me wonder about God's love life? @God do you even have one?
God:
Nope. I'm aromantic and asexual. Not sex repulsed or anything... I don't give two shits. I just don't care enough to want that shit.
Short King:
... He tried to date a while ago, and he really wasn't good at it. LMAO
God:
I scared my partners. One guy said he wished he had a good drink, and I made it appear... He panicked, thought his meds stopped working, and ran.
Carfight:
... Did you not tell him you were God?
God:
I did... That just made it worse. LMAO
Roo:
I told you to stop dating humans.
God:
I'M NOT DATING FUCKING ANGELS! I KIND OF CREATED THOSE!
Whiskers:
You could've tried dating someone from fucking Hell.
God:
I never thought of that. Not interested though. LMAO
Squeak:
Imagine dating God though. That would be... Interesting.
Kayden:
Imagine dating any of us... To a normal human, that would just be weird.
STAB:
You're the most normal one here! Even though you and I had a pillow fight last night... Not with pillows, but with loaves of bread.
Kayden:
... That was fun!
Lilith:
I wanna join next time. Fucking invite me.
STAB:
... OK!
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Group Chat
FanfictionWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...