Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Serious Chat

Daddy Issues:
... I know it's the middle of the night, and I'm sorry to inconvenience anyone but... I think we all need to discuss some serious topics.
Whiskers:
You couldn't wait until, I don't know... FUCKING LATER?
Daddy Issues:
I can't sleep, and I just think things need to be discussed. Mom, I'm starting with you.
Lilith:
... You want to know where I went, why I was gone, and all that, right?
Harder Daddy:
Oh shit... I'm up now.
Short King:
I want to know too.
Danger Tits:
... Hold on a second.
{Danger Tits has muted Dick Master}
Danger Tits:
OK... You can continue.
Daddy Issues:
I'm pretty sure we've discussed that you were in Heaven but... I'm still confused. Seven years? Why? How?
Lilith:
I made a deal to stay there. Adam was involved. When his ass was killed... Even though he magically came back to life with the power of bullshit... That deal was technically ended. What the deal was is not important. I did it at the time because I thought it was the best choice, and to be honest, it was a good decision at first. Seriously, the beach I was on was fucking amazing. However, I felt guilty because in making that deal, I left my family behind, and for that, I apologize.
Vagina:
... How did you manage to still add ridiculous shit in there? LMFAO, "The power of bullshit".
Daddy Issues:
... I don't know how to feel about that, but at least I know now.
Lilith:
I can discuss it in further detail later, but with only you and your father, alright?
Daddy Issues:
Alright, that's fine.
Short King:
Alright... My turn to ask a question... @FreakyFace What the actual hell did you want from my daughter originally? You didn't offer to help with her hotel out of the "goodness of your heart". There were ulterior motives, and I'm willing to bet there are still ulterior motives.
Freaky Face:
I offered to help so I could watch her fail... I wanted to watch others fail too... See them try to climb the ladder, to try to reach those pearly gates through redemption, only to crash back down and burn, their spirits withering away because they failed. I'm still mostly here for the entertainment honestly. However, I've grown somewhat fond of this group, even if I don't wish to admit it.
Short King:
... That does not make me dislike you any less...
Screen Queen:
I need to know why Vox hates Alastor so much.
Big Ass Forehead:
BECAUSE HE'S A DICK!
Freaky Face:
We had a... Bit of a falling out which led to our current dislike for one another. He really did ask me to join the Vees a long time ago, and I declined. We were friends, but we no longer get along.
Big Ass Forehead:
And he almost... KEYWORD ALMOST... Beat me in a fight. I'm better though so... He didn't. SUCK IT!
Pear:
Oh dear fucking God... Before Thora sends this next message... Yes, she's still paranoid.
Mouth:
@Roo... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? And be honest this time. We're having a serious chat here, so fucking answer.
Roo:
... I am exactly who you all think I am. Read that carefully... Who YOU ALL think I am.
Squeak:
So... Whether we think you're Roo, or if we think you're just Eve... We're all right?
Kayden:
... I've got to be honest... I already knew. She told me while we were making cookies because I asked.
Mouth:
FUCKING SHIT! I WAS RIGHT THIS ENTIRE TIME!
Roo:
Technically, yes. The suspicion is unnecessary... For now. Whenever I decide to fuck shit up... You'll know.
Pear:
@Kayden Why didn't you tell us?
Kayden:
She told me to keep it a secret. :)
Roo:
And I appreciate you doing so.
Squeak:
I'm sorry for doing this but...
(Squeak has added Sera to the chat)
{Squeak unmuted Dick Master}
Squeak:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? Where did the idea with exterminations start? Why did you two think that it was OK to kill souls... Human souls. Some people are in Hell for the most minor things, yet you claim all sins are equal. You really want to argue that stealing is equal to pedophilia?
Sera:
Emily, we've discussed this. Hell was overpopulated. We needed to deal with that, and prevent an uprising.
Dick Master:
Plus, Sinners just suck. LMAO, that's all there is to it.
Squeak:
THEY NEVER PLANNED AN UPRISING! YOU'RE JUST PARANOID! THEY NEVER DID SHIT!
Danger Tits:
... Emily... I'm fucking proud. This is what it takes for you to say things like fuck or shit? So glad I got to witness that.
Squeak:
... You went along with it too. You enjoyed it. You're just as vile as they are.
Danger Tits:
... Unlike them, I won't deny what you just said. However, that's what I was created for... My only purpose when I was made was to assist in exterminations... Nothing more, nothing less. That's all I knew. It's not an excuse, it's an explanation.
Vagina:
... I'll say the same thing. I was also created to do that. And Charlie, before you bring this up again... I hid my past from you for so long because I was ashamed of it, not because I didn't trust you. I tried to bury the past rather than accept it. That doesn't work very well... Obviously.
Squeak:
... I'm done.
(Squeak has removed Sera from the chat)
Danger Tits:
... Adam, I need to know something... Did you seriously like me or something? And yes, I mean in the way you think.
Dick Master:
No shit I did. You're hot. Do you blame me? And hell, I'm pretty sure I could've gotten your ass too.
Screen Queen:
... You're not wrong about the fact that she's hot but... You didn't get her ass... Sucks for you.
Lilith:
... You really are the jealous type, aren't you?
Screen Queen:
Stop calling me jealous.
Danger Tits:
... If anyone walked in here right now, they'd see that you are 100% jealous.
Whiskers:
... Are you two in the same fucking bed? It's clear you're in the same room, but...
Danger Tits:
Yeah, we are. Is there a fucking problem?
Harder Daddy:
ARE YOU FUCKING? I WANT TO SEE!
Screen Queen:
What the fuck is wrong with you? No, we're not fucking.
Pear:
That crash I just heard... Was that him breaking down the door?
Danger Tits:
Yes, and the crash you're about to here is me throwing him down the stairs.
Harder Daddy:
You can't throw me! I'm gay! That's homophobic!
Danger Tits:
And I fucked a girl... I'm not homophobic. I'm still gonna throw your ass.
Daddy Issues:
I guess the serious conversation has ended... LMAO
Whiskers:
... Anyone want a drink?
Pop My Cherri:
I always want a drink.
Mouth:
Where the fuck were you and Pentious?
Two Dicks:
Reading the conversation.
STAB:
Same. I had no questions or things to say!
Pop My Cherri:
Actually... I do have a question, but if I ask, I feel like I might die.
Carfight:
... The answer to your question is no. Zestial and I are very close friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I do care deeply for him, but it's a friendship.
Pop My Cherri:
Can you fucking read minds? How did you know I was going to ask that?
Carfight:
I have my ways.
Two Dicks:
Can someone  explain why @BuzzBuzz is still in the chat?
Lilith:
She probably forgot to leave again. LMFAO
Buzz Buzz:
Yeah, sorry. Last few days have been rough. Went through a breakup, still had to deal with some ridiculous shit in the Gluttony ring, and haven't slept, but it's fine. LMAO
Roo:
... Are you sure you're alright?
Buzz Buzz:
Nope, but I'll say I am.
Squeak:
... @Whiskers are you still downstairs? I think I might want a drink.
Whiskers:
Yep. I'm at the bar. Cherri, Pentious, and Lilith are here too.
Lilith:
LMFAO, I feel called out.
Vagina:
I just want you all to know that Charlie is fucking sleeping, so I guess having that serious chat really is what she needed. 💀
Screen Queen:
... @DangerTits If I asked you for something right now, would you kill me?
Danger Tits:
Why the hell are you texting this? I'm right next to you.
Screen Queen:
SO THERE ARE WITNESSES IN CASE I DIE! Now... If I were to, you know, move closer to you right now... Would you kill me?
Pop My Cherri:
Translation from too pussy to ask: "Can we cuddle?" LMFAO
Screen Queen:
... I am not a pussy!
Vagina:
... I need to know if she said yes.
Screen Queen:
... She didn't say anything... It was more of a physical answer... Which did not result in my death, so I think that'll answer your question.
Short King:
... That's so damn wholesome. I'm just waiting for someone to ruin it...
Kayden:
Nope! Not ruined!