Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

The Calm After the Bullshit

Pop My Cherri:
... @ScreenQueen Are you OK? You didn't spam me with memes all night.
Vagina:
... She does that to you? LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
Yeah. I told her she could because I get easily bored.
Danger Tits:
She'll be fine. Don't worry.
Daddy Issues:
I don't mean for this to sound rude but... How the hell would you know, and why would you care?
Danger Tits:
I know because I was the one talking to her all fucking night.
Two Dicks:
Well, that's unexpected.
Big Ass Forehead:
Tell her to get over it. Suck it the fuck up.
Danger Tits:
I'm going to smash that flat ass face of yours if you don't shut the fuck up.
Dick Master:
HA! YOU'RE GONNA SMASH HIM!
Lilith:
... Grow the fuck up. You'd think with how long you've existed that you'd stop acting like a horny, immature teenage boy, but no...
Harder Daddy:
To be fair, I was about to make the same joke.
Lilith:
It's acceptable coming from you. I just want Adam to shut the fuck up.
STAB:
We're forgetting to check on someone. Is @Whiskers still alive.
Whiskers:
I'm in Hell, so no.
Short King:
... Let's just say, he's fine. @FreakyFace and I made a deal.
Freaky Face:
It was a very satisfying deal.
Daddy Issues:
Dad, what did you do?
Short King:
A simple deal, that's all. I had him release @Whiskers from their contract, and I'm going to get him released from his.
Harder Daddy:
I love what he's doing, but seeing Lucifer so damn serious is weird.
Vagina:
Considering he showed up on the stairs upside down when shit hit the fan, yeah. It's weird.
Screen Queen:
🎶WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY TO SEE A MARCHING BAND🎶
Short King:
Oh fuck this. No one else have a fucking emo phase... Please.
Screen Queen:
I was fucking joking. Chill.
Vagina:
That song isn't that damn bad.
Dick Master:
... You'd say that.
Danger Tits:
... You were listening to that damn song an hour ago. Hell, you played it on the guitar for 3 hours straight one night to piss me off.
Harder Daddy:
You should come move in here to get away from his ass. Also, to create drama.
Vagina:
Fuck off. No.
Daddy Issues:
... Temporarily? Like, a vacation spot?
Lilith:
I'm sorry but... Hell isn't the most ideal place for a vacation. LMFAO
Short King:
Not wrong. "Oh, I'm gonna go relax while listening to cannibals eat people, idiots get into fights, and three guys fuck a trashcan."
Danger Tits:
Beats listening to Adam play the same song on repeat, complain that girls don't want him, or talk about the girls who he did somehow get to fuck him.
Screen Queen:
You can go listen to Vox complain about Alastor.
Danger Tits:
No. I'd rather stay on the phone with you for hours again...
Two Dicks:
... I feel like that sounds wrong in some way. Like, it wasn't enjoyable, but it beats everything else.
Screen Queen:
I don't think she meant it that way, but if she did... That's fair.
Daddy Issues:
... We have plenty of rooms, so if anyone needs to stay, they can.
Short King:
Except Adam.
Freaky Face:
Or Susan.
Screen Queen:
Or Vox. Fuck him.
Daddy Issues:
Anyone can stay... With obvious exceptions.
Vagina:
LMFAO
Whiskers:
I thought this place was for sinners and redemption.
Daddy Issues:
Yes, but I'm not going to exclude others who need to stay. Once again, with the obvious exceptions.
Lilith:
In that case, Emily is on her way. She's sick of Sera's bullshit. LMFAO
Short King:
I don't blame her. I'd be sick of Sera's bullshit too if I was still there.
Freaky Face:
Who's Emily?
Harder Daddy:
Who the fuck is Sera and why does no one seem to like the bitch?
STAB:
CAN I STAB HER? 🗡️
Daddy Issues:
Niffty, no.
STAB:
But you said to stab angels.
Vagina:
... I am exiting the building. LMFAO
Harder Daddy:
No, she actually is. WHERE ARE YOU GOING BITCH?
Vagina:
Somewhere. Don't worry about it.
Danger Tits:
@ScreenQueen You should go with her.
Screen Queen:
I feel like I'm about to get murdered. Why?
Danger Tits:
Just fucking do it.
Big Ass Forehead:
If you die, it's on you bitch. Ha.
Daddy Issues:
Are you two getting coffee again? YOU ARE GETTING ALONG! 🥳
Short King:
@DangerTits Are you actually getting coffee with them because you want to or because you want to piss off Adam?
Dick Master:
She just wants to piss me off. It's working by the way.
Danger Tits:
Suck it up. Go get friends or something.
Big Ass Forehead:
Coffee is code for murder @ScreenQueen.
Screen Queen:
Do not speak to me.
STAB:
LMFAO, damn.
Two Dicks:
Why don't you all just have drinks here.
Vagina:
We're coming back and doing that afterwords. Coffee just sounds good right now.
Harder Daddy:
She's not wrong. It does, but our coffee machine is FUCKING BROKEN! @TwoDicks It's because of your eggs.
Two Dicks:
... How did my eggs break it?
Harder Daddy:
... They thought it was a weapon, so they destroyed it.
Whiskers:
They also tried to eat each other once because it was breakfast time, and you're apparently supposed to have eggs for breakfast.
Lilith:
... Damn, they sound stupid as fuck.
Daddy Issues:
I thought you didn't want to be here.
Lilith:
... I'm bored.
Vagina:
Wanna come meet us for coffee?
Danger Tits:
We're in the middle of just talking shit about people.
Lilith:
... I'll be there in 92 seconds.
Pop My Cherri:
What's with the oddly specific time?
Daddy Issues:
It's just to make you question it. She's usually correct on the time though.
Lilith:
It's official. We're starting the Club of Bitches. LMFAO
Screen Queen:
@DaddyIssues Your mom is the shit.
Freaky Face:
If it's a club of bitches, have Susan join.
Big Ass Forehead:
So, you have the stupid bitch, the bitch bitch, the other bitch bitch, and the queen bitch.
Danger Tits:
... BITCH BITCH! LMFAO
Vagina:
Why are we the same thing?
Harder Daddy:
Do you two really not realize how similar you are? You both always seem to be pissed, you are both violent... Hell, you even walk the same.
Screen Queen:
THEY FUCKING DO!
Daddy Issues:
I'd argue one is nicer than the other.
Danger Tits:
You're not wrong.
Screen Queen:
... Also, I am not a stupid bitch. I'm a bad bitch. Get it right @BigAssForehead. 
Lilith:
... I'm more than happy to stick with QueenBitch. LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
Can I join. I'm the Explosive Bitch!
Whiskers:
Charlie can't join. You're all in agreement there, right?
Daddy Issues:
😭
Vagina:
Babe, seriously. It's a club of bitches. You're the furthest from a bitch that I can think of.
Danger Tits:
Start a club with Emily. Both of you are... Whatever the opposite of bitch is.
Lilith:
LMFAO, the opposite of bitch.
Daddy Issues:
... I'm still hurt.
Harder Daddy:
Go get a drink... And yes, I mean alcohol. That's what always helps me.
Daddy Issues:
You need to learn better coping skills.
Harder Daddy:
It's either crack or boos... Which is better?
Short King:
You all need therapy.
Dick Master:
Says the man who is still wearing a ring years after his wife left.
Lilith:
I'M RIGHT HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Two Dicks:
Note to self... Don't fuck with her. And order cannons from Carfight.
Vagina:
Carmine*
Two Dicks:
WHATEVER!