Daddy Issues:
Alright everyone... Don't forget to keep in touch and we can meet up for lunch in a bit.
Carfight.
Use the buddy system. No one go off alone.
Harder Daddy:
We aren't children.
Carfight:
I have a hard time believing that. The only thing that sets you apart from children is your sexual nature, violence, and language. Other than that... You all clearly need supervision.
Screen Queen:
Who the actual fuck invited Vox?
Big Ass Forehead:
I invited myself bitch.
Dick Master:
I DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE!
Short King:
Too bad... LET'S GO ON EVERY RIDE!
Lilith:
I'm checking them off of the list as we go.
Pop My Cherri:
... @TwoDicks and I are already doing shit. Stop planning at the entrance and go fuck shit up!
Two Dicks:
... Who's with Niffty?
Freaky Face:
I am. She won't destroy anything...
Harder Daddy:
I like how this is supposed to be buddy system, also known as two people paired up, but we're all just dispersing in weird clumps. I'm with Husk, Kayden and fucking Emily.
Squeak:
... I kind of just followed the first group I saw. Sorry. LMAO
Screen Queen:
I've ended up with @DangerTits, but we're following the worst chaperones in existence.
Danger Tits:
... I'm going with them to see Adam suffer. You could've gone with anyone else.
Screen Queen:
... No. We're at least doing fun shit... HOLY SHIT! HIS FUCKING FACE!
Daddy Issues:
... I feel like we're on a double date.
Vagina:
... Fucking honestly.
Pear:
You guys don't have to stay with us.
Mouth:
These fucking games are rigged.
Short King:
That's not my fault. Blame the assholes who work here.
Roo:
Don't forget to send me embarrassing pictures of Adam.
Danger Tits:
... I've got plenty.
Screen Queen:
Same... But that should be expected.
Dick Master:
DO NOT FUCKING POST THAT SHIT!
Pop My Cherri:
She already did. LMAO, Lucifer is in the background of one of them laughing his ass off.
Squeak:
We've somehow ended up on the calmest ride in existence, which is not what I expected from Hell...
Kayden:
You spoke too soon... Just wait!
Lilith:
... It's the Log Ride, isn't it? LMAO, you did speak too soon.
Squeak:
... I SEE THAT NOW!
Vagina:
You know... This place is meant for fun and shit, and fun is a good thing. WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK WASN'T THERE ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN HEAVEN?
Pear:
The fact that you typed that out as we went through two fucking loops is impressive.
God:
... We have other things up here that you don't have down there. Nice beaches... Certain restaurants... Wow, we need an amusement park. It kind of sucks here.
Squeak:
There's a zoo, ice cream places, and that one weird waterpark that no one goes to because... "Swimsuits are unholy".
Short King:
We need ice cream places in the Pride Ring... I'LL MAKE THAT HAPPEN!
Mouth:
If it's the Pride Ring... Has there ever been a pride parade?
Lilith:
No... No there hasn't, and that shit needs to change.
Dick Master:
I think I'm going to be fucking sick... LET ME GO HOME!
Big Ass Forehead:
I have found Alastor...
Freaky Face:
You didn't find me. You've been following me for 30 minutes.
STAB:
I WON A GIANT THING!
Daddy Issues:
A giant what?
STAB:
No, seriously... It's a giant thing. I have no idea what it is... BUT IT'S POKY!
Whiskers:
We just passed someone handing out free shots, and they looked suspicious. To test it out... I grabbed three and have already taken them.
Squeak:
... We saw them 20 seconds ago... You took 3 shots in 20 seconds?
Carfight:
... You've got to be kidding me. You took shots from some suspicious vender?
Harder Daddy:
It wasn't even a vender. It was some random guy who's shirt said "Free shots from Daniel". LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
To be fair, I drank a half empty bottle of... Something I found in a trashcan 10 years ago, and I'm still fine. It was fucking disgusting though and I was shitfaced for 3 days straight.
Screen Queen:
... I smell food and now I'm fucking hungry.
Short King:
LET'S MEET UP FOR FOOD! I know it's a bit early but... I didn't eat shit this morning and I'm about to become one with the fucking cannibals.
Freaky Face:
A wise choice Lucifer. Very wise indeed.
Big Ass Forehead:
DAMN IT! I'M LOST!
Carfight:
... You're not on my roster, so find your way out by yourself.
Harder Daddy:
LMAO, YOU HAVE A ROSTER?
Lilith:
I sent her a list of everyone who was going, so yes... Yes she does.
Danger Tits:
... I'm sorry but... What the actual fuck is that? Is it even edible?
Daddy Issues:
... Most of the food here is typical Hell food but... That looks like someone cooked an asshole.
Vagina:
READ THE FUCKING SIGN!
Daddy Issues:
... Looks like I was fucking right. Why do they sell that?
Short King:
I really need to check on this place more.
Kayden:
THEY HAVE GIANT PIZZA SLICES!
Screen Queen:
That slice is as big as Vox's head. LMAO
Big Ass Forehead:
SHUT UP! I'M STILL LOST!
Whiskers:
Anyone want a shot? I went back to Daniel to get more.
Harder Daddy:
Yeah, why not?
Two Dicks:
How many did you bring?
Whiskers:
Enough for everyone.
Squeak:
No thanks... I'm good.
Kayden:
I don't like alcohol.
Vagina:
@Carfight Just so you know... All but 3 of us took shots.
Carfight:
... Who's the third?
STAB:
The First Man, AKA THE PUSSY!
Dick Master:
I still feel sick, and the smell of all of that damn food isn't helping.
STAB:
YOU'RE A PUSSY!
Pop My Cherri:
... Those shots are the same mystery liquid I drank 10 years ago! Oh... We're fucked. LMAO
Screen Queen:
When we're done, we should all go pile on that one ride that spins... A lot. Like, the one that pins you to the wall when it spins.
Dick Master:
THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!
Harder Daddy:
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
Harder Daddy:
UPDATE! IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!
Pear:
... @Vagina you look like you're surfing on the wall.
Vagina:
... It takes skill. LMAO
Squeak:
Why are half of you upside down?
Danger Tits:
Why not?
Big Ass Forehead:
I'M BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING CLOWN! AND I'M STILL LOST!
Carfight:
And I still don't care.
Short King:
OK, one last ride and we can go home.
Lilith:
We saved the best for last... FUCK! HE GOT AWAY!
Danger Tits:
... We lost a few others too.
Carfight:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Two Dicks:
... That's shocking.
Harder Daddy:
... I was dizzy and stumbled into a trashcan, fell in headfirst, stood, stumbled around for a minute, and now... I have no idea where I am.
STAB:
I FOUND TV MAN AND THE CLOWN!
Pop My Cherri:
I went off to find Angel. LMAO
Dick Master:
I FUCKING ESCAPED! FUCK YEAH!
Roo:
... You'll pay for that.
Kayden:
... I ended up in a mirror maze! It's quiet...
Short King:
OK, I know where that is, so she's not lost. Adam can screw himself, so he's fine. We just need to find the other three and... Why does Charlie have three heads?
Daddy Issues:
That shot is kicking in... Everything is floating.
Whiskers:
I feel fine... Which probably says a lot about me, and that's not a good thing.
Squeak:
... Several of us have wings. Let's just search from up high.
Vagina:
... If I try to do that shit, I'll crash into the first thing I see. LMAO, sorry.
Whiskers:
Niffty can make it back on her own. I'm mainly concerned about the other two that are lost.
Pop My Cherri:
We found each other!
Harder Daddy:
No we didn't. I found Niffty and Vox though. That is one ugly clown.
Pop My Cherri:
I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE TALKING TO COTTON CANDY FOR 5 MINUTES!
Carfight:
Zestial and I are on our way... Anyone who's still together, go to the entrance. Anyone who's sober... Go search for the others. We'll be there shortly.
Squeak:
... Thank you.
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Group Chat
FanfictionWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...