Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

I Don'T Even Know

Danger Tits:
Adam and Saint Peter are fucking and it's so damn loud.
Lilith:
When did he become gay?
Danger Tits:
... Who the fuck knows? Maybe he's just bored. He always says homophobic shit.
Harder Daddy:
... Film it. Good gay porn!
Whiskers:
Why the hell would she want to film it?
Harder Daddy:
Good point... I'm on my way to film it. @ScreenQueen You can post it.
Screen Queen:
No fucking thank you. @BigAssForehead can broadcast it though.
Big Ass Forehead:
HELL YEAH!
Harder Daddy:
I don't want to do business with you... But fine.
Danger Tits:
... He just showed up and is actually filming.
God:
Isn't it nice to be able to travel between Heaven and Hell now? It's so damn peaceful, except when a certain Seraphim keeps going on about an uprising.
Squeak:
... You could just say Sera. We all know who you're talking about. And no, her and I still aren't getting along. Yes, it still hurts, but honestly... It's her fault.
Harder Daddy:
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, BUT I'M FUCKED!
Dick Master:
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE, AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Screen Queen:
Good content... That was his motivation.
Harder Daddy:
She gets it!
Danger Tits:
... Run the other way dumbass...
Vagina:
Should we be concerned?
Harder Daddy:
No... I'll be fine. I kind of couldn't go the right way, so I'm hiding and I think I found my sister. LMAO
Whiskers:
Molly?
Pop My Cherri:
The only sister he has dumbass.
Two Dicks:
He has a sister?
Harder Daddy:
Yeah... I just don't talk much about my siblings. LMAO, I have an older brother too.
Pear:
Shit... Does anyone else have secret family members?
Squeak:
Charlie is secretly my sister.
Mouth:
FUCKING WHAT?
Squeak:
I'm kidding... Someone mentioned it to me once though, and I thought it was funny.
Freaky Face:
You two are similar... Maybe half siblings.
Short King:
If that's the case, I know nothing about it.
Lilith:
Neither do I. LMAO
Roo:
Nope... No idea.
Pop My Cherri:
I was about to say... Threesome result that's been hidden?
Roo:
Definitely not.
Harder Daddy:
@BigAssForehead, I sent you the footage. And trust me, it's good.
Big Ass Forehead:
I'M SO HARD RIGHT NOW!
Screen Queen:
... No one wants to know that shit.
Dick Master:
The only reason @DangerTits decided to fucking expose my private activities is because I caught her and her girlfriend sending sexy messages to one another.
Danger Tits:
... Bitch, do you think I care that you know about that? I'll expose those messages myself... No fucking shame.
Screen Queen:
LMAO, he called the messages sexy. He enjoyed seeing them I assume.
Vagina:
Probably... Gross.
Big Ass Forehead:
@DickMaster maybe you should pound me like that.
Dick Master:
I'M NOT GAY! GROSS!
Roo:
Explains why you were pounding Saint Peter... Sure you're not.
Pop My Cherri:
Is anyone here straight?
Daddy Issues:
... Niffty.
STAB:
Straight as a ruler! I like bad boys!
Two Dicks:
What about Alastor?
Freaky Face:
... Romance isn't my thing.
Kayden:
Speaking of romance... Husk, Angel, how was your date the other night? We never asked!
Harder Daddy:
It was nice...
Whiskers:
... He kept making sexual jokes, which was to be expected, but I can't lie... It really was nice.
Daddy Issues:
AW! HOW SWEET! 😊
Squeak:
... Not gonna lie... I want a cute relationship!
Lilith:
I'm sure you'll find someone.
Short King:
... My head fucking hurts.
Pear:
Damn, he's finally awake. He's been passed out in that corner for nearly 17 hours. LMAO
Mouth:
Yeah... Niffty hit him with a broom at least 13 times.
Short King:
What happened?
Buzz Buzz:
You got shitfaced. Belphegor stopped by earlier because someone needed meds or something, and the bitch sent me so many pictures.
Kayden:
... So that's who was standing over him earlier... I was confused.
Short King:
SHE JUST STOOD OVER ME? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL HER TO STOP?
Freaky Face:
To be fair, we all stood over you at one point or another. We even stood in a partial circle around you too. It looked like a ritual.
Mouth:
That's because it was a ritual. LMAO
Short King:
WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?
Roo:
... Don't worry about it.
Squeak:
It was my first time partaking in a ritual... @God, please tell me that won't get me kicked out of Heaven.
God:
... Hell no. People up here did or do rituals all the damn time. You ever realize that prayer is a ritual? Sometimes there are specific things to say, specific positions to be in, specific objects... RITUAL!
Squeak:
... Never thought about it that way.
Dick Master:
HE WON'T STOP HITTING ON ME! HELP!
Harder Daddy:
He's really bad at it too... You'd think someone that flamboyant would be better at flirting.
Danger Tits:
... Adam is bad at flirting too. LMAO
Vagina:
He used to try to flirt with you all the damn time, but his idea of flirting is crossing boundaries. Do you remember the time he full on grabbed your ass?
Danger Tits:
... Which fucking time?
Screen Queen:
... Fucking excuse me?
Danger Tits:
Or there was the time I caught him peeking through the window while I was fucking nude, making that "eat pussy" gesture.
Dick Master:
Still don't know why that didn't work.
Daddy Issues:
... You're joking, right?
Harder Daddy:
... I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work on anyone.
Big Ass Forehead:
If it was something about eating dick, I'd be into it.
Whiskers:
... You are the only one. Fucking sick.
Harder Daddy:
LMAO, the jealous bitch showed up!
Pear:
Great idea... Start a fight in Heaven over something stupid! Fucking genius!
Dick Master:
Nope... She's just being a clingy bitch. She's too pussy to fight me.
Kayden:
I'd argue she's smart enough not to fight you... You nearly killed Alastor.
Freaky Face:
Don't remind me... It was humiliating.
Big Ass Forehead:
IT WAS BETTER THAN SEX!
Freaky Face:
... There really is something wrong with you.
Carfight:
Right after you disappeared 7 years ago, we had a meeting and the only thing he could bring up is how arousing your last fight was and how he "fantasized" about it daily. I was tempted to ban him from meetings, but Zestial talked me out of it, stating that despite the bullshit that spews from his mouth, he's still a powerful overlord, and is therefore useful.
Vagina:
... That meeting sounds like it sucked.
Pop My Cherri:
That does it! I'm going to become an overlord just so I can witness the bullshit that goes on in your meetings.
Carfight:
... You need better goals.