Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

SHIT! (yes that's the title)

Short King:
... We never addressed that @HarderDaddy would apparently let me suck his dick...
Harder Daddy:
I FORGOT I FUCKING SENT THAT! LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
To be fair... He'd let any man suck his dick.
Daddy Issues:
Angel... You need stronger boundaries.
Harder Daddy:
... Probably. 👨🏼‍🦲
Screen Queen:
Holy shit! I got a new fucking phone. I had so many issues getting it though. The fucker who sold it to me was like, "You can get it for free if you screw me instead! Come on hot stuff... Anyone would want to bang a hot chick like you! At least you'll be getting the phone you want instead of an STD." Then, when I refused, he began screaming at me... "FUCK YOU WHORE! I'D NEVER FUCK SOMEONE AS UGLY AS YOU! YOU'D BE LUCKY TO FUCK ME! MY DICK IS LONG AND HITS THE RIGHT SPOT EVERY DAMN TIME! YOU DESERVE TO GET EVERY STD POSSIBLE YOU DIRTY SLUT! I BET YOU LET EVERY MAN IN HELL POUND YOUR UGLY PUSSY!" FUCKING HELL!
Whiskers:
I get that this is Hell but... What the fuck?
Screen Queen:
I got sick of his shit, knocked him out, and stole the damn phone. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
... I'm just waiting for someone to chime in and threaten to go kill the guy.
Danger Tits:
I assume you're referring to me, and no... Her and I still aren't on speaking terms, and I'm respecting that. She can clearly handle herself.
Screen Queen:
...
Kayden:
I still don't like this. I don't like that things are different.
Dick Master:
Shit changes. Suck it up bitch.
Roo:
Shut the fuck up you fucking failed experiment. She has every right to dislike the tension here. You used to lose your shit because your wives wouldn't submit to you. That... That's fucking unacceptable and not reasonable.
Lilith:
HELL YEAH BITCH!
Daddy Issues:
... Either way though... @ScreenQueen @DangerTits... Are you two OK?
Danger Tits:
I'm fine. And yes, I mean that. LMAO
Screen Queen:
I'm fucking great. I made a huge fucking mistake last night and went out drinking... Fucking blacked out and next thing I knew, I was offering sex to several fucking strangers. When I woke up this morning, I had a headache, felt like I'd been hit by 18 buses, was full of regret, and I couldn't stop vomiting. Yeah, I'm fucking fine.
Harder Daddy:
Oh shit... I've fucking been there.
Pop My Cherri:
Same.
Mouth:
Did you even come back to the hotel last night. Like, I knew you came back after the meeting, but I saw you storm out a few hours later.
Screen Queen:
... I fell asleep in a shitty alleyway between a trashcan full of condoms, and another trashcan full of bottles of piss... I think that's the lowest point of my life and I fucking hope it stays that way. LMAO
Pear:
BOTTLES OF PISS?
Freaky Face:
You mean the lowest point of your afterlife?
Vagina:
Holy shit! We all know what she means. Shut the fuck up.
Short King:
... Do you need someone to talk to or?...
Screen Queen:
Probably, but I'm not going to any of you fuckers. There's only one individual I'll talk to, and it's not you... No offense.
Short King:
... None taken.
Whiskers:
If you change your mind, I'm always at the bar, there are plenty of dumbasses here, and hell... Emily would probably listen too.
Squeak:
Yep! I would.
Dick Master:
Except she's been busy hanging out with the fucking traitor!
Danger Tits:
... Holy shit... We went to get lunch. It's not like we've been fucking for the last 12 hours. Damn. Also, I'm not a fucking traitor.
Pear:
I'm still concerned about the BOTTLES OF PISS! Like, an entire fucking trashcan full? I'm assuming one of those big ass garbage bins?
Pop My Cherri:
Yep, because I know exactly what alleyway she was talking about. That's the designated piss bottle garbage. It's fucking gross.
Lilith:
... Now do you fuckers see why I left Hell for 7 years? A designated piss bottle garbage. That's the type of shit here.
Daddy Issues:
Yeah... Now I get it. Gross.
Two Dicks:
Vox is outside... He's mind controlling random fuckers.
Big Ass Forehead:
I'm totally not doing that. @ScreenQueen, look out your window.
Screen Queen:
... I'm not joining you again. Fuck the Vees. LMAO, I'm still too good for that shit.
Big Ass Forehead:
You chased away the only bitch who gave two shits about you. Now, you have no one. Do you want it to stay that way?
Screen Queen:
FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!
Big Ass Forehead:
It'll be like old times, and maybe... You won't feel so alone. If you don't accept my offer, you'll suffer by yourself for the rest of eternity.
Danger Tits:
She said leave her alone. Take a god damn hint.
Daddy Issues:
She has plenty of individuals who give two shits about her.
Dick Master:
... Are you fucking sure?
Squeak:
No one asked for your input either asshole. Shut the fuck up.
Lilith:
... I love seeing her swear. LMAO
(Screen Queen has left the chat)
Mouth:
... Is she here?
Whiskers:
Pretty sure. If she tries to leave... Block the exit.
Two Dicks:
What if Vox tries to enter? Block the entrance?
Whiskers:
Exactly.
Carfight:
Although Velvette and I rarely ever see eye-to-eye, that does not mean that I'm going to let this continue. Vox, leave her alone, or I'll make sure you suffer a long and painful demise.
Buzz Buzz:
... Fucking badass!
Harder Daddy:
No offense, but can we stop talking about this depressing shit? If she needs something, we're all here. Let's discuss Lucifer sucking my dick. I feel like we need to dive deeper into that concept.
Daddy Issues:
WHY?
Short King:
Hear me out... It wouldn't be my first choice, or my second... Hell, not even my third. But if I was real desperate... I'd do it.
Harder Daddy:
What if it was the only way to save my life?
Short King:
Yep. Why not?
Vagina:
Gross... I'd pass.
Harder Daddy:
I wanted to say fuck you, but if the only way to save your life was to eat your pussy, I'd pass on that too. LMAO
Vagina:
WHY WOULD THAT BE THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE?
Stab:
... Would the person still be alive, or would it be a way to revive them? And if it was the second one, wouldn't that kind of be necrophilia?
Roo:
Fucking stop.
STAB:
Why do people enjoy that shit anyway? Like, what kind of satisfaction does someone get from screwing a dead body?
Stab:
... Never mind. I thought about it, and it's fucked up.
Roo:
That's why I said to stop! Damn!
Kayden:
Are the brownies in the kitchen safe to eat?
Harder Daddy:
Which ones?
Whiskers:
There is only one thing of brownies in there. What the fuck do you mean which one?
Pop My Cherri:
... Who made brownies anyway?
Daddy Issues:
... I have no fucking idea. They were just left outside. I thought it was a nice gift.
Pop My Cherri:
... OK, in that case... Angie and I will test the fuckers out to make sure they're not drugged... Or poisoned.
Pear:
And why the fuck would you do that?
Harder Daddy:
We've got a lot of experience with mystery edibles. LMAO. It's a fun little game and we have to guess if it's normal, drugged, or poisoned. Whoever guesses right gets 10 bucks, and whoever guesses wrong has to drink four cement mixer shots.
Lilith:
Sounds stupid and dangerous... I'M FUCKING IN!
Daddy Issues:
MOM! WHY?
Lilith:
I'll be fine... Don't worry.
Roo:
... It's been an hour, and they're all laying on the floor, creepily muttering to themselves while staring at one specific corner of the ceiling.
God:
... When you guys send updates, I feel like you're specifically sending them to me.
Roo:
Yes, and whoever else isn't here.
Danger Tits:
... Damn, I wish I was there to see that shit. Hell, I want to experience what they're experiencing.
Vagina:
Then why don't you come down here and join them?
Danger Tits:
... Because my presence there is not a good idea.
Buzz Buzz:
OK, but I want one of these brownies now! I'm on my fucking way!
Short King:
... Of course you are...