A/N: I'm really fucking high. I probably won't remember writing this. It'll probably be weird... Weirder than this story already is.
Update: I wrote some of this while high... I passed out and didn't finish it until later. LMAOScreen Queen:
THAT'S IT! I CAN'T HIDE IT ANYMORE! I'M GONNA CONFESS MY ONE TRUE LOVE!
Lilith:
... GOSSIP!
Whiskers:
Why the fuck are you all like this?
Big Ass Forehead:
No one loves you bitch, so it's one sided.
Screen Queen:
@DangerTits
Daddy Issues:
... WHOA! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!
Screen Queen:
I SENT THAT TOO EARLY! My one true love is the fucking recipe for lemon cake that she sent me.
Vagina:
That's pure bullshit. No fucking way. Stop trying to cover shit up.
Danger Tits:
... I'm just concerned.
Pop My Cherri:
HA! I FUCKING CALLED IT!
Screen Queen:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Lilith:
That really explains the jealousy that one night...
Screen Queen:
I WAS NOT JEALOUS!
Danger Tits:
... You were. You can't deny it.
Short King:
CONGRATULATIONS!
Mouth:
You're all being idiots.
Dick Master:
You just called the King of Hell an idiot... AND I AGREE! FUCK YEAH BITCH!
Pear:
... Shut the fuck up.
Harder Daddy:
I HAD A WILD FUCKING OUTING! First, I saw a pussy. Not a purring pussy, a pussy pussy. Then, the bitch with the pussy pussy called her boyfriend "Hubby boo-boo". WHAT THE FUCK!
Two Dicks:
What the fuck are you on?
God:
AND CAN I GET SOME?
Mouth:
DID THE LORD HIMSELF JUST ASK FOR DRUGS?
God:
Yes I did. Now, CAN I GET SOME?
Harder Daddy:
Sure. I'll send you my dealer.
Daddy Issues:
... But, what about your progress and redemption?
God:
... He can come here if he wants.
Vagina:
Yeah... I think that whole thing with... Heaven Vs. Hell is kind of over now.
Dick Master:
NO! FUCK YOU ALL!
Short King:
Shut up. Damn. No one asked.
Squeak:
I'm bored.
Kayden:
Let's go out!
Squeak:
OK... Where?
Whiskers:
That really good sandwich place.
Danger Tits:
The place that absolutely no one touches, even during exterminations? Is it really that good?
Vagina:
I will fucking drag you there by your remaining arm. Yes, it's that fucking good.
Kayden:
LET'S GO!
Screen Queen:
... We're all going? We are going to piss them off.
STAB:
Good... CHAOS!
Short King:
@DickMaster wanna come? I'll invite Eve. Oh wait... SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU! HA FUCKER!
Lilith:
LMAO, imagine all four of us sitting at a table. It would be extremely awkward.
Danger Tits:
I will fucking pay to see that. I'm bringing him.
Dick Master:
SHE'S DRAGGING ME BY MY EAR!
Screen Queen:
@Carfight you and your... "FRIEND"... should join us.
Carfight:
No.
Vagina:
Are you seriously passing up the best sandwich place to ever exist?
Carfight:
If it means I can avoid a certain someone screaming about how Zestial and I are together, then yes.
Whiskers:
Fair enough. Last time, it pushed her to drink.
Freaky Face:
Rosie is meeting us there.
Daddy Issues:
... She's a cannibal.
Harder Daddy:
The sandwich place has cannibal options. It's literally on the edge of Cannibal Town. Have you never realized that?
Daddy Issues:
... No, and I never look at the menu. I always get the same thing.
Pear:
BASIC BITCH!
Big Ass Forehead:
I'm coming too.
STAB:
... MORE CHAOS! YAY!
Kayden:
... I regret suggesting going out.
Whiskers:
Yeah. Any time you say something like that, it automatically means everyone is going to go.
Pop My Cherri:
Why the actual fuck are you starting to march there? This isn't a fucking marching band.
Harder Daddy:
NOPE! IT'S FUCKING WAR BITCH!
Danger Tits:
... It would look better if you all were actually in unison. You look dumb as fuck.
Mouth:
... And I'd appreciate if someone would STOP STOMPING ON MY FUCKING FOOT!
Big Ass Forehead:
No. Suck it up.
Dick Master:
GOD DAMN IT! SHE'S ACTUALLY HERE!
Pear:
That's what Eve looks like?
Vagina:
... I have never seen Adam look so pissed... ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING TYING HIM TO A CHAIR?
Lilith:
Yes, we are.
Kayden:
Where's the cannibal lady?
Freaky Face:
On her way... She had to deal with fucking Susan.
Daddy Issues:
... The poor employees look so confused... Some of them look terrified.
STAB:
I'M IN THE KITCHEN!
Harder Daddy:
NIFFTY NO!
STAB:
NIFFTY YES!
Lilith:
... WE FUCKING MADE HIM CRY! LMAO
God:
... I assume you mean Adam? What a little bitch. Also, have him bring me back a sandwich.
Kayden:
SHE'S HERE!
Squeak:
... That's the cannibal lady? She looks nice.
Squeak:
... I just realized how much Heaven's propaganda about Hell has been drilled into my brain. Sorry.
God:
Damn... I'm blaming Sera for that.
Harder Daddy:
... Before anyone says anything... Yes, this sandwich is shaped like a dick. No, it doesn't taste like dick.
Whiskers:
I wouldn't expect it to.
Two Dicks:
... Why do the cannibal options actually look good?
Pop My Cherri:
I want to judge you for saying that, but they fucking do.
Big Ass Forehead:
SOMEONE MAKE THIS BITCH STOP TRYING TO SMASH MY SCREEN!
Danger Tits:
The fact that you think I'm actually trying is insulting. What I'm trying to do is piss you off, and I'm clearly succeeding.
Screen Queen:
... You also almost succeeded at stabbing me.
STAB:
DID SOMEONE SAY STAB?
Daddy Issues:
What in the actual fuck is my dad doing?
Lilith:
... Cutting his sandwich to look like a duck.
Mouth:
I have a question. I've heard rumors that Eve is the Root of all Evil, or is possessed or some shit by that. So... Are we in danger?
Pear:
They're just rumors. Pretty sure we're fine.
Freaky Face:
... Ask her yourself. She's right next to you.
Kayden:
... She's also looking over your shoulder at the text you just sent.
Mouth:
I've never prayed in my life but... GOD! HAVE MERCY ON MY FUCKING SOUL!
God:
Noted. I mean, you're kind of already in Hell, but... I'll still keep that in mind.
Freaky Face:
You should've just asked her yourself.
Mouth:
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY? "Hey. I've heard rumors that you and Roo are the same or some shit. Is it true?" THAT'S FUCKING AWKWARD!
(Eve has joined the chat)
Eve:
I think you worded that just fine.
Mouth:
FUCK!
Pear:
I'm starting to feel like we're all screwed.
Two Dicks:
No. We're still in the protected sandwich place. We're fine.
Mouth:
@BigAssForehead We should switch spots.
Eve:
No. You stay.
Harder Daddy:
... Oh shit.
Eve:
What? I don't want to sit next to... Him.
Big Ass Forehead:
FUCK YOU!
Mouth:
Yeah, fair enough.
(Eve has left the chat)
Squeak:
Is someone going to explain how she got in?
Danger Tits:
... Adam got in here too a while ago. Still not sure how... Then, he just had to fucking invite me.
Vagina:
I won't lie... I'm kind of glad that happened. I like seeing him suffer.
Screen Queen:
This chat has become my main source of entertainment.
Kayden:
There's smoke in the building.
Harder Daddy:
DAMN IT NIFFTY!
STAB:
YAY! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!
Pop My Cherri:
Well... Someone did it. Someone fucked with the sandwich place.
Short King:
Let's evacuate... Don't worry about untying Adam. He'll be fine.
Freaky Face:
Good plan.
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FanficWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...