Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Passes

Kayden:
Babe!
Kayden:
Elle!
Kayden:
NOELLE!
Elle:
... What? I was sleeping.
Kayden:
We're all getting something from Lucifer, and he wanted to know if you want one.
Harder Daddy:
HER NAME IS NOELLE?
Elle:
Yeah... LMAO, Elle is kind of just a nickname. It's not like anyone here calls you Anthony.
Harder Daddy:
... Good point.
Short King:
Anyway, do you want one or not?
Elle:
What the fuck is it?
Daddy Issues:
He found a way to give you all passes to go to the other rings of Hell.
Lilith:
It's a fucking privilege, so don't screw it up.
Pop My Cherri:
WE CAN GO TO OZZIE'S? FUCKING YES!
Elle:
Oh... Yeah, sure.
Short King:
OK, I've got a list, and I'll start working on that! WOOHOO!
Vagina:
Why is he so damn excited?
Daddy Issues:
Who knows? And, just a warning to everyone... Some of the other rings are questionable, so be careful if you do go anywhere.
Harder Daddy:
I'M GONNA GO PISS OFF SATAN!
Roo:
Don't do that. I don't want to plan your funeral.
Harder Daddy:
Why would you plan it? Husk would.
Whiskers:
I did not agree to that.
Harder Daddy:
Wow... I'm heartbroken. I thought you loved me Whiskers.
Whiskers:
Go fuck yourself.
Screen Queen:
LUCIFER! Can I post if I go to the other rings, or would that cause an issue?
Short King:
I mean... It's your choice, but it might cause a problem. Other sinners might get jealous and start bombarding me with shit...
Screen Queen:
So, don't post? Got it. Oh, and @DangerTits... How'd that date go?
Danger Tits:
What fucking date?
Squeak:
... Us going to dinner last night. It went fine. The food kind of sucked though.
Danger Tits:
Even the water was bad. And I swear there was a rat sitting next to you.
Squeak:
THERE WAS! It was gross. The moment it jumped into my food, I was done. LMAO
Screen Queen:
...
Danger Tits:
For fucks sake, do I need to come down there and beat some sense into you? It wasn't a fucking date, and you said yourself that you and I are nothing, so why the fuck are you being so bitchy about it?
Big Ass Forehead:
You did kind of move on fast... I told her not to get involved with you. Stupid bitch never listens.
Danger Tits:
SHUT THE FUCK UP! Your input isn't fucking needed, and stop calling her a stupid bitch.
Screen Queen:
... Can you come down here? Please?
Danger Tits:
Yeah... Give me like five minutes.
Morana:
OK, ignoring that bullshit... How are these passes going to work. Is it like a physical pass, or something that's going to be implemented into our bodies?
Short King:
Kind of both. It's something I'll kind of have to put into all of you, but I'll also give you a card stating you have access in case there's an issue.
Buzz Buzz:
YOU CAN FINALLY COME TO MY FUCKING PARTIES! HELL YEAH!
Mouth:
I thought your ass was going to stop being active in here.
Buzz Buzz:
... I kind of fucking suck at staying inactive.
Lilith:
How's your ex doing? LMAO
Buzz Buzz:
We got back together actually. We just kind of needed a break. There was never a massive issue or anything.
Pop My Cherri:
Damn... All of my exes and I ended up on horrible terms. So, Pentious... Be fucking warned.
Two Dicks:
Hold on... You're breaking up with me?
Pop My Cherri:
NO! I didn't mean it like that! LMAO, I just meant that if it ever does happen, be warned.
Two Dicks:
That's not any better.
Pear:
Honestly. That would be like if a married couple was like, "When we get divorced, blah blah blah". Like, the fuck?
Vagina:
Speaking of that, Charlie, when we get divorced... I'm taking back that hoodie you stole like 2 years ago.
Daddy Issues:
... You can have it back. It's in the closet.
Vagina:
I'm kidding... I don't give two shits about that thing. I bought it when I first ended up in Hell, and that shop burned down a week later. LMAO
Dick Master:
Do you still have your old uniform? If so, I want it back. That's totally stolen.
Vagina:
Actually, I do. It's kind of fucking destroyed, but it's in a box. And no, you can't have it back. You said "your old uniform", claiming that it's mine, so therefore, there's no theft.
Danger Tits:
LMAO, I burned mine. I got bored or some shit.
Elle:
Do either of you have any stories from back in the day of exterminations?
Danger Tits:
... You act like it's been hundreds of years since the last one. LMAO
Vagina:
I have a fucking story about how Adam hooked up with a sinner.
Dick Master:
LIES! I NEVER DID THAT!
Danger Tits:
You did, and I stupidly covered for you, although I was pissed.
Vagina:
It was this girl who was way out of his fucking league, and he promised he'd spare her if she fucked him, so she did. No idea where she is now, but I feel bad for her.
Harder Daddy:
I FUCKING KNOW HER! She frequently goes to a club that I fucking love, and she used to tell that story all the damn time.
Danger Tits:
Or, how about the story about Adam trying to hook me up with Vaggie because he wanted to see hot sex, then join in and make it a threesome.
Dick Master:
AND IT KIND OF WORKED! YOU TWO TOTALLY FUCKED!
Vagina:
NO WE DIDN'T!
Elle:
Why are angels so horny?
Squeak:
DO NOT GENERALIZE US!
Elle:
OK, I'm sorry... Why is Adam so horny?
Dick Master:
HOT ASS WOMEN!
Mouth:
Lucifer, when will those things be ready.
Short King:
They're almost done. I'm going to have to do one at a time though, so all of you decide who's first.
Freaky Face:
Alphabetical order. Done.
Whiskers:
... Because your name starts with a fucking A? Asshole.
Screen Queen:
LMAO, at least Zestial isn't here. Poor fucker would be last.
Short King:
OK, but due to past experiences... Niffty's pass will only work if she's with someone.
STAB:
... Fair enough. LMAO, I'd destroy so many things.
Squeak:
Wait... I'm not a sinner, so could I technically go to the other rings without a pass?
Danger Tits:
Fucking same. Pretty sure Vaggie asked something similar a while ago.
Vagina:
I did. I was confused on whether I'm technically a sinner, or is fallen angel a separate category? Like, I didn't die and go to Hell because of sin, so... What the fuck am I?
Harder Daddy:
A lesbian.
Daddy Issues:
My wife.
Dick Master:
A FUCKING TRAITOR!
Mouth:
A violent bitch.
Danger Tits:
Pretty sure there's several of those in this chat.
Mouth:
... Good point.
STAB:
Do the other rings have different snacks?
Whiskers:
Do they have drinks that'll actually make me feel something?
Buzz Buzz:
... If my shit can't make you feel, then nothing can. Also, you need fucking therapy.
Short King:
About that... I found Ted Bundy. Let's all set up meetings with him!
Lilith:
... What the fuck?
Screen Queen:
I don't fucking need therapy.
Danger Tits:
Yes you do. You have so many problems in that fucking head of yours.
Screen Queen:
That's what I have you for though. 😙
Screen Queen:
LMAO, that fucking emoji wasn't even supposed to be there, but it makes that message so much better.
Danger Tits:
... I'm not a free therapist. 🖕🏼
Danger Tits:
And yes, that emoji was supposed to be there.
Rosie:
... You're all beyond help.