Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Talent Show

Harder Daddy:
THE TALENT SHOW IS STARTING!
Roo:
And there's five judges... Me, Carmine, Morana, Emily, and Alastor.
Rosie:
I was going to join the judges, but I'm helping out backstage.
Carfight:
I only came because I know something's going to go wrong, especially since Adam just showed up.
Dick Master:
Once again, I'm the only one with fucking talent.
Buzz Buzz:
Snacks and alcohol have been set up.
Short King:
... You're supposed to be at a meeting right now. LMAO
Buzz Buzz:
FUCKING SHIT! Oh well I guess.
Vagina:
... Why are random ass people showing up?
Daddy Issues:
I made it a promotional thing! I announced the talent show at the hotel, hoping more people would come try to redeem themselves!
Vagina:
... Yeah, I should've guessed.
Vicks:
I also invited some of my friends! Sorry if that's a problem.
Daddy Issues:
More is always better!
V = D/T:
... I came to get away from my dad. The girl next to me said the same thing.
Lilith:
That's because you're next to Via. LMAO
Big Ass Forehead:
I didn't do shit!
V = D/T:
... You were broadcasting gross stuff on every screen this morning.
Harder Daddy:
Well, just to warn you... As soon as I step on that stage, you might want to leave the room. 🍆
Holy Drugs:
... Oh fucking Zues...
Screen Queen:
... Did you just use the name of a different god? LMAO
Holy Drugs:
YES! I'm sick of people screaming at me for saying "Oh my God" because, it's using the Lord's name in vain, so I've started using other names. LMAO
Pear:
... We had God in the chat ages ago, and he never gave 2 shits.
(God has entered the chat)
God:
True. However, keep using Zues. He's an asshole. LMAO
(God has left the chat)
Holy Drugs:
... Oh.
Dick Master:
Anyway, I'm going first. Everyone wants to see real talent!
Danger Tits:
... Anyone want to join me in throwing random shit at his head? You get points if you don't miss.
Screen Queen:
I'd join you if I wasn't mad at you.
Lilith:
LMAO, you're mad because she's making you perform your talent.
Screen Queen:
SHUT UP!
Dick Master:
HEY! OPEN THE CURTAINS!
Rosie:
No. Fuck you and your guitar.
Freaky Face:
... Oops. His guitar broke.
Dick Master:
WHAT DID YOU DO ASSHOLE?
Freaky Face:
I did what was necessary.
Pop My Cherri:
MY FUCKING TURN! MOVE ADAM!
Buzz Buzz:
... She was just drinking. And now, she's going to try to do skating tricks?
Two Dicks:
She took 7 shots back to back. This won't end well.
Carfight:
... Nope, it didn't. She fell off of the stage and onto her head. My daughters are present if first aid is needed.
Harder Daddy:
Aren't you supposed to be judging.
Whiskers:
To be fair, all of the judges haven't been doing shit.
Morana:
... I forgot we were supposed to be judging.
Squeak:
LOL, same. I was too distracted bye the disasters happening.
Freaky Face:
... I'm always judging. Adam was terrible, and Cherri is just being as idiotic as she normally is.
Pop My Cherri:
I DID GOOD!
V = D/T:
Keep telling yourself that. LMAO
Vicks:
... I'm sorry but... What are those things on the stage?
Two Dicks:
MY EGGIES!
Elle:
... I'd explain it, but I still don't understand it. Just, get used to it. LMAO
Vicks:
OK! They look like they're having fun!
Roo:
WHY ARE THEY ACTUALLY GOOD?
Carfight:
... I didn't have high hopes for dancing eggs, but... I'm pleasantly surprised.
Screen Queen:
... I'm not going on that damn stage. I'm putting my foot down.
Danger Tits:
... No, you're going. LMAO, unless you want Vox and Adam to call you a pussy.
Screen Queen:
They already hate me. I don't care.
V = D/T:
... Are you doing that stupid thing where you balance stuff on your head?
Screen Queen:
I DID IT ONCE IN FRONT OF YOU! WHY DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
V = D/T:
Because... Also, how about a compromise? You don't have to do it onstage, but you can serve everyone drinks like that.
Danger Tits:
I'm fine with that compromise. I can still laugh at her either way.
Screen Queen:
... I can't win with you. Fine, I'll do the drinks.
Danger Tits:
Good... Because I want one. LMAO
Whiskers:
I don't know what's more entertaining... The eggs that were genuinely good, or Velvette coming over here, clearly pissed off, grabbing a drink, and practically stomping away with it balancing on her head.
Harder Daddy:
I don't know, but I'm next, so... @V=D/T You should probably leave the room.
Lilith:
Yeah... Tell Via to go with you. She's a minor.
V = D/T:
... Noted.
Mouth:
Bitch, minors have seen porn.
Roo:
Thora... There is a difference between a minor exploring something like that, and an adult doing clearly sexual stuff in front of them.
Mouth:
... Yeah, that's a good ass point. He's just deep throating random shit though. LMAO
Roo:
That's still a fucking problem... IS THAT A FUCKING CURTAIN ROD?
Rosie:
Who just threw an entire cup of tea at him?
Carfight:
... Zestial. I was about to do the same thing.
Harder Daddy:
Tell your ancient fuck buddy to NOT RUIN MY PERFORMANCE!
Carfight:
Zestial and I have never had intercourse.
Vagina:
... No offense, but I really don't want to know about your sex life.
Daddy Issues:
BUT YOU'RE IN THE THREESOME CHAT WITH MY PARENTS AND THEIR THIRD WHEEL?
Vagina:
Totally different. LMAO
Kayden:
MY TURN! MOVE!
Harder Daddy:
Why can you deep throat shit, and it's cool? But, when I do it, an old man throws tea at me?
Elle:
Sword swallowing is totally different.
Morana:
IT'S A FLAMING SWORD!
Squeak:
... That looks dangerous.
Danger Tits:
That's a nice sword too...
Vagina:
Do you just admire every weapon you see?
Danger Tits:
Only if they're worth admiring. LMAO
Vicks:
Why does the material of the sword look familiar?
Carfight:
... It's angelic steel.
Pear:
IT'S FUCKING WHAT?
Kayden:
IT ADDS DANGER! YAY!
STAB:
You and I need to hang out more often!
Elle:
Definitely not.
Two Dicks:
I see flames.
Short King:
FUCKING ADAM!
Dick Master:
FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR SHITTY SHOW!
Carfight:
... I'll start evacuating everyone, someone grab the alcohol, and whoever wants to deal with Adam and the fire, do so quickly...
Squeak:
I'll handle the fire. @Roo... You can handle Adam.
Roo:
... FUCKING GLADLY! Anyone want to join?
Danger Tits:
Fucking yes. Mostly because I don't want to hear Vel complain anymore. LMAO
Screen Queen:
We're so fucking done.
Lilith:
You say that now, but we all know you're going to fuck tonight.
Daddy Issues:
MOM! FUCKING WHY?
Lilith:
I'm not wrong!
V = D/T:
... That was an interesting disaster.