Screen Queen:
@DangerTits Where are you? I swear you were here like 15 minutes ago.
Vagina:
She's with me. LMAO, we went to get groceries.
Danger Tits:
I mainly came because her and I had some things to discuss.
Screen Queen:
... OK, if I send you a list of a few things, can you get them for me? I'll pay you back.
Danger Tits:
Yes, I will, and payment isn't necessary.
Screen Queen:
Thanks! Love you!
Danger Tits:
...
Vagina:
Oh my fucking God... You made her fucking cry. And yes, I'm being serious.
Squeak:
THAT'S SO SWEET!
Daddy Issues:
Hold on... Where are you getting groceries? The regular place we go is closed today.
Vagina:
I found another place and I thought it would be interesting to see the different things they have. It's close to Carmine's place, so I'm going to stop by and say hi on my way back.
Carfight:
... I'm at the same store as you. I just spotted the two of you.
Vagina:
Oh, well... Hi. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
Pentious and I are in the Greed ring right now... We're visiting each ring this week.
Short King:
... Be careful there.
Two Dicks:
We were shot at five minutes ago.
Lilith:
Yeah... Some rings are questionable. Envy, Greed, Wrath... Questionable.
Buzz Buzz:
Come by Gluttony in 2 days. I'm having a party.
Elle:
Kayden and I are in Envy right now. Oh, and we have Niffty.
Kayden:
And so far, we haven't lost her.
STAB:
... Oh, just wait...
(Buzz Buzz added Fav Bitch to the chat)
Buzz Buzz:
LOONA! I know you're in Envy right now, so... If a little shit named Nifty gets lost, can you help them find her? Thanks!
Fav Bitch:
... First off, am I supposed to fucking care? Second, why is this my name in your phone?
Buzz Buzz:
Because you're my fav bitch. You're cool as shit. Amazing vibes!
Mouth:
... Who the fuck is Loona?
Pear:
She's literally been mentioned in the chat. You really don't pay attention.
Mouth:
Honestly, you're not wrong. I just noticed Vel sitting next to me on the couch and I still have no idea when she got here.
Screen Queen:
... I've been sitting here for 30 fucking minutes Thora. Fucking seriously?
Freaky Face:
And I've been sitting across from her for 10 minutes.
Mouth:
Stop fucking bullying me!
Pear:
You're making it really easy though. LMAO
Squeak:
That's mean.
Freaky Face:
But true.
Vagina:
We're leaving the store... And this bitch is still fucking tearing up.
Danger Tits:
Shut the fuck up.
Screen Queen:
... Did I do something wrong?
Danger Tits:
No, no you didn't. It's alright.
Morana:
@ScreenQueen You must have some sort of super power. You made a heartless bitch cry.
Screen Queen:
She's not fucking heartless.
Dick Master:
Then explain how she spent years and years killing your kind without mercy. Explain how she harmed her own kind without feeling guilt. Heartless is how all exorcists are, and she's always going to be one of my main bitches. You aren't special.
Danger Tits:
... She is though.
Daddy Issues:
AW! 😍
Mouth:
Well now this bitch is crying.
Freaky Face:
How do you notice her start crying, but you didn't notice her sitting in here for 30 minutes?
Mouth:
SHUT UP ALASTOR!
Whiskers:
... How's Niffty?
Elle:
She's fine... FUCKING SHIT!
Kayden:
No, she's lost.
Buzz Buzz:
@FavBitch LOONA! GO HELP THEM!
Fav Bitch:
Fuck no. I'm with someone. We're busy.
Buzz Buzz:
Oh? With someone?
Rosie:
Romance?
Fav Bitch:
Fucking no. I'm just with Octavia. She kind of snuck out and now, we're here.
Short King:
So, don't tell Stolas? Got it.
Lilith:
LMAO, that girl isn't stupid. She'll be fine anyway.
Whiskers:
NIFFTY IS STILL MISSING!
Kayden:
I was watching her! I was even holding onto her arm. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry!
STAB:
... I'm in Elle's bag. I'm looking through her things.
Elle:
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BAG!
Fav Bitch:
Problem solved. I'm not needed. Fuck off.
Buzz Buzz:
... Are you mad at Blitzø or something? Why are you so bitchy today?
Fav Bitch:
... you have the word bitch in my name apparently, so is it really a shock that I'm being bitchy?
Rosie:
She's got a point.
Mouth:
Still don't know who the fuck Loona is, but I like her. LMAO
Big Ass Forehead:
@DickMaster Let's get drinks. I want to hear all your hot sex stories.
Dick Master:
OH FUCK YEAH! You should broadcast it. My stories need to be heard by everyone!
Pear:
... Oh God... The two assholes are gonna hang out now?
Roo:
... When I destroy everything... They're going first. LMAO
Daddy Issues:
I still don't know if you're joking, and it honestly concerns me.
Roo:
... Wait and see my dear.
Kayden:
If you destroy everything, where are you gonna go?
Roo:
I'll just... No longer exist.
Vagina:
Hold on... Where the fuck is Angel? I know where Cherri and Pentious are, and that's why they're not saying much but...
Harder Daddy:
... Believe it or not, I'm just fucking reading.
Vagina:
... Are you OK? Why are you doing normal shit?
Harder Daddy:
It's a good ass book, OK? Get off my dick!
Elle:
@FavBitch We're heading to a weird looking restaurant here. Do you and your friend want to join?
Fav Bitch:
... Is it the one that's shaped like a snake?
Kayden:
Yeah.
Fav Bitch:
LMAO, we're actually heading there right now. Sure.
(Fav Bitch has left the chat)
Buzz Buzz:
She's a hellhound. You'll be able to notice her and Octavia when they come in.
Elle:
... And what's her friend?
Short King:
Bird looking. She's the kid of the Goetia prince or some shit.
Elle:
Oh shit! Royalty?
Lilith:
... Why is it a big deal now? The King of Hell is in this chat, but that means nothing?
Elle:
... That's different. It's Lucifer.
Daddy Issues:
She has a point.
Danger Tits:
OK, we're back. I'm going to put down these fucking bags but then... Vel, we need to talk.
Screen Queen:
Are you sure I didn't do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did. I didn't mean to.
Mouth:
... And now she's fucking freaking out.
Freaky Face:
It's odd... Usually, she wouldn't care if she did something wrong.
Danger Tits:
... I'll handle it. And Alastor, fuck off.
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Group Chat
FanfictionWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...