Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Vel can't handle drugs

Screen Queen:
... Is anyone awake?
STAB:
I don't sleep!
Whiskers:
Now I am. What?
Screen Queen:
... Never mind.
Lilith:
What's wrong?
Screen Queen:
Can someone come get me? I went out and I stupidly turned away from my drink for a second... I don't feel right, or safe. I'm behind the bar and something just feels off.
Danger Tits:
I'm on my way.
Pop My Cherri:
For fucks sake... You sent that in less than a second.
Squeak:
Yeah, and you were up here, half asleep on the couch next to me... That was freaky.
Dick Master:
THEY'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER!
Squeak:
No asshole. We were watching a movie, and it was horrible, and honestly, I started knitting halfway through and she started falling asleep. But, right as that message sent, she shot up and responded extremely quick.
Vagina:
She has a way of knowing when something is wrong. Seriously, when any exorcist used to do something they weren't supposed to, she'd show up out of nowhere.
Screen Queen:
I'm fucking hiding behind a trashcan. There's someone in the alleyway and I don't know if it's her, or someone else.
Danger Tits:
... I've been saying your name... It's me.
Screen Queen:
... Are you sure? All I here is screaming.
Screen Queen:
HELP! I'M BEING TAKEN HOSTAGE!
Danger Tits:
No... It's me.
Harder Daddy:
What the hell did they drug her with?
Pop My Cherri:
Or does she just have a bad reaction to every fucking drug?
Pear:
Damn, I envy all of you fuckers who are STILL FUCKING SLEEPING!
Kayden:
... I'm on the roof. The sky looks really weird right now.
Danger Tits:
It fucking does! I've been staring at it too while trying to get this BITCH to stop FUCKING SQUIRMING!
Screen Queen:
I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU! I DON'T KNOW YOU!
Danger Tits:
Bullshit. We've fucked. You definitely know me.
Dick Master:
STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!
Roo:
Stop being so fucking jealous. She doesn't want your tiny dick. It's the size of a fucking grain of rice. I fucking swear, I don't know how you get anyone to willingly bang you.
Short King:
IT'S THAT SMALL? Damn, no wonder I got both of his bitches.
Buzz Buzz:
@DickMaster Send me a pic. I bet it's not that bad...
Rosie:
... Are you doing what I think you're doing?
Buzz Buzz:
I'm just being nice...
Elle:
... Yeah, nice.
Buzz Buzz:
HE FUCKING SENT IT! I'm sending it to Vel for when she's no longer... Being a fucking idiot.
Vagina:
... She's hiding under the table right now, which is missing a leg. I'm going to blame Niffty.
STAB:
NOPE! Not me this time!
Two Dicks:
... My eggs have developed a... Chewing problem.
Whiskers:
Put them in cages. Also... Why the fuck do eggs have teeth?
Screen Queen:
GUYS HELP! I'm in a random building, someone is filming me, and there are others around. I think they're going to kill me and gnaw on my bones.
Rosie:
I mean... If you're offering.
Morana:
LMAO, definitely not.
Danger Tits:
Just so we're clear... I'm the one filming her. She's being ridiculous.
Daddy Issues:
... Who's laughing their ass off. That woke me up.
Harder Daddy:
FUCKING ME! This bitch just broke another leg off the table and is trying to fight her girlfriend, who clearly has an advantage of well... Not being on drugs.
Vagina:
Those table legs have angelic steel tips. Be careful.
Mouth:
Why is everything here a weapon?
Two Dicks:
You can never be too careful.
Carfight:
Well, this is unfortunate. I had some news that Velvette would probably love to hear... And post.
Pop My Cherri:
IS IT WHAT I FUCKING THINK IT IS?
Elle:
You finally tried drugs? LMFAO
Carfight:
I did that a long time ago.
Squeak:
... YOU'VE DONE DRUGS? That seems so out of character.
Carfight:
I've been alive for a long time... I've done a lot of things.
Vagina:
HOLY SHIT! I forgot to mention. While we were on Earth, there was a restaurant called fucking Carmine's.
Carfight:
... Well, Hell needs a version. I'm opening a restaurant.
Lilith:
LMFAO, hire me.
Daddy Issues:
There was also a restaurant called Valentino's...
Harder Daddy:
We don't need one of those in Hell. Fucking gross.
Daddy Issues:
It was actually a good Italian restaurant. LMAO, the name really through us off though.
Pop My Cherri:
... OK, but if the Val we knew opened a restaurant... It would be pure shit.
Harder Daddy:
The Vees did try to open a restaurant though, and it did suck. It was Vox's idea... That fucker can't cook.
Big Ass Forehead:
GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Danger Tits:
... I could not imagine Vel working at a restaurant, unless it's one of those shitty trendy places, and she just does it to look good.
Screen Queen:
WHY ARE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME WHEN I'M IN DANGER?
Danger Tits:
You're not in fucking danger! You are literally right next to me!
Screen Queen:
... Oh.
Mouth:
Holy shit! She finally realized...
Whiskers:
... OK then. Go the fuck to bed.
Carfight:
... I'll tell you that news later.
Buzz Buzz:
She can post it with Adam's dick pic.
Dick Master:
FUCK OFF!
Carfight:
... On second thought... Never mind.
Pear:
Angel, shut the fuck up!
Harder Daddy:
NO! I want everyone to have this beautiful song stuck in their head...
Squeak:
... What song is he singing?
Freaky Face:
More like screaming... And I have no idea.
Harder Daddy:
I GLUED MY BALLS TO MY BUTTHOLE AGAIN!
Pop My Cherri:
... I feel like that's something you've actually done.
Harder Daddy:
I'm not proud of a lot of my life choices.
Big Ass Forehead:
I should try that. Or, I want to see if I can fuck myself in the ass.
Lilith:
Yeah, you do that and shut the hell up.
Vagina:
Charlie, did you go back to sleep? I'm still downstairs and we're making grilled cheese. Apparently that solves all of life's problems.
Elle:
Yes, she's asleep.
Kayden:
GRILLED CHEESE!
Roo:
... Did you just slide down the stairs?
Kayden:
Yes... And?
Roo:
Do it on a mattress next time. You can fit more people, and it adds more danger.
STAB:
I'M IN!
Pear:
... I'm going back to sleep.