A/N: OK, I went on a fucking cruise, I had no service, so I couldn't post. Sorry. LMAO
We hunted for ducks around the ship though and it just kept making me think of fucking Lucifer. I have a bunch of tiny ducks too, so I've been hiding those lately and I hid a few on the ship. Anyway, onto the story...Screen Queen:
@Carfight NEWS BITCH! NEWS! NEWS! FUCKING NEWS!
Daddy Issues:
... She's back to normal.
Carfight:
I went on a formal outing with a woman, also known as a date.
Screen Queen:
I FUCKING CALLED IT! PAY UP VOX!
Big Ass Forehead:
We made that bet 10 years ago. Go fuck yourself.
Screen Queen:
I was still right shithead.
Carfight:
... You bet on that 10 years ago?
Mouth:
That's fucking impressive.
Morana:
What other things did you bet on? I'm tempted to make a list.
Screen Queen:
I bet on Val dying first, a massive war happening in Hell, and a few other minor things.
Lilith:
A FUCKING WAR HAPPENING IN HELL? Between who?
Screen Queen:
Sinners and hellborns.
Short King:
That makes so much sense actually. Also, Velvette, stop making fucking bets.
Screen Queen:
... Fuck off Lucifer.
Danger Tits:
... If you get your ass killed, I am not helping you.
Screen Queen:
I'm breaking up with your ass.
Danger Tits:
No you're not.
Vagina:
Controlling much? LMAO
Danger Tits:
You know exactly how controlling I can be.
Daddy Issues:
... Let's not.
Carfight:
... Velvette, did you really make a post showing Adam's genitals, then put "In other news, Carmine is gay and I was right. Suck it bitches."
Screen Queen:
Yes I did. The fuck are you gonna do about it Grandma?
Danger Tits:
... What the fuck is wrong with you today?
Rosie:
What do you mean? She's like that in the overlord chat all the time.
Pop My Cherri:
THERE'S AN OVERLORD CHAT?
Rosie:
... It's new. She's the one who started it about a month ago, and every day, she sends a message about how she's the shit and we should all suck it. It pisses off Carmine and Zestial.
Pear:
I keep forgetting Zestial's old ass has a phone.
Roo:
WE GOT A MATTRESS!
Elle:
... Who's fucking mattress is that?
Roo:
... Don't worry about it.
Dick Master:
GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!
Kayden:
NO!
Harder Daddy:
I want a fucking turn!
Short King:
If no one breaks their neck first.
Roo:
We'll be fine... Lilith, stop fucking recording.
Lilith:
No. Also, I read something from Earth where someone said that I am one of the seven deadly sins and... I'm kicking out Mammon and taking his fucking spot. LMAO
Buzz Buzz:
I think some spots would have to be switched around, but honestly... OK. Fuck Mammon. Oh, and I'm on my way.
Daddy Issues:
... Why?
Buzz Buzz:
MATTRESS!
Morana:
I still can't believe how bad you are at staying inactive.
Buzz Buzz:
... Respectfully, fuck off.
Lilith:
... I pissed off Mammon. LMAO, I texted him telling him I was going to take his spot.
Short King:
You sent it to the entire sins chat. Hold on... Why the fuck are you in there?
Buzz Buzz:
I added her a long ass time ago. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
I hate all of these side chats. I WANT IN!
Short King:
You're already in the threesome details chat.
Pop My Cherri:
IT'S STILL NOT FAIR!
Two Dicks:
FRANK HERE! Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they're called pets?
Squeak:
I was thinking about that yesterday!
Whiskers:
I have no idea. It's like how we can drink a drink, but not food a food.
Elle:
OH SHIT! THE MATTRESS!
Lilith:
THAT'S WHY I WAS FILMING! IT FLIPPED!
Roo:
To be fair, it was my fault. LMAO, we're all fine.
Kayden:
We need a longer staircase!
Harder Daddy:
MY TURN BITCHES! MOVE! I used to do this with Molly all the fucking time!
(Squeak added Molly to the chat)
Molly:
Yeah, and we got in so much damn trouble every time.
Harder Daddy:
GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE! JOIN ME!
Vagina:
I'm guessing God snapped all of the assholes there out of that weird state?
Molly:
Yeah... It was weird as hell. I don't remember shit from the last several decades or whatever.
Pop My Cherri:
... I'm sorry but...
{Pop My Cherri changed Molly to Holy Drugs}
Pear:
What the actual fuck?
Pop My Cherri:
Her name makes me think of drugs, and she is in Heaven. Holy drugs!
STAB:
Don't you two have a brother too?
Harder Daddy:
... We're close... But not with him. It's complicated.
Holy Drugs:
He's in Hell, right? Have you seen him lately?
Harder Daddy:
Nope.
Big Ass Forehead:
I did. I passed Arackniss on my way to get new anal beads.
Whiskers:
... You could've left the anal beads out.
Daddy Issues:
That name just makes me think of Arachne from Greek mythology.
Buzz Buzz:
HOLY SHIT! Same!
Mouth:
I thought you were on your way. Where the fuck are you?
Buzz Buzz:
... A new cookie place opened. I just left.
Lilith:
Really living up to your title, aren't you?
Danger Tits:
Damn... That was fucking insulting.
Vagina:
... You stabbed out my eye and ripped my wings off with your bare fucking hands. You're really going to comment on something insulting?
Danger Tits:
... You got your wings back, and I can't fucking give you another eye. Let it the fuck go.
Screen Queen:
... Would you be nice? Damn.
Danger Tits:
Oh, so it was OK for you to be an ass earlier, but when I literally just act like myself, it's a fucking problem?
Rosie:
... Couple problems?
Elle:
No... They're both bullshitting. They're fucking cuddling on the couch while Angel and his sister are looking like idiots surfing down the stairs on that mattress.
Roo:
And Lilith is still being a bitch and videoing.
Screen Queen:
Send me the videos. My hands are busy.
Harder Daddy:
NO FINGER FUCKING ON THE COUCH!
Holy Drugs:
... He fell. I hope typing that was worth it.
Carfight:
... You all concern me.
Freaky Face:
That's why I don't engage.
Morana:
... You just need to loosen up.
Dick Master:
He's a pussy.
Carfight:
No one asked for your input.
Dick Master:
I'M IN THIS CHAT BITCH! I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT!
Carfight:
... That same logic applies to me. Shut the fuck up.
Daddy Issues:
... I think we've ruined Carmine. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
Yeah, we have... Oops.
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Group Chat
FanfictionWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...