Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

MATTRESS

A/N: OK, I went on a fucking cruise, I had no service, so I couldn't post. Sorry. LMAO
We hunted for ducks around the ship though and it just kept making me think of fucking Lucifer. I have a bunch of tiny ducks too, so I've been hiding those lately and I hid a few on the ship. Anyway, onto the story...

Screen Queen:
@Carfight NEWS BITCH! NEWS! NEWS! FUCKING NEWS!
Daddy Issues:
... She's back to normal.
Carfight:
I went on a formal outing with a woman, also known as a date.
Screen Queen:
I FUCKING CALLED IT! PAY UP VOX!
Big Ass Forehead:
We made that bet 10 years ago. Go fuck yourself.
Screen Queen:
I was still right shithead.
Carfight:
... You bet on that 10 years ago?
Mouth:
That's fucking impressive.
Morana:
What other things did you bet on? I'm tempted to make a list.
Screen Queen:
I bet on Val dying first, a massive war happening in Hell, and a few other minor things.
Lilith:
A FUCKING WAR HAPPENING IN HELL? Between who?
Screen Queen:
Sinners and hellborns.
Short King:
That makes so much sense actually. Also, Velvette, stop making fucking bets.
Screen Queen:
... Fuck off Lucifer.
Danger Tits:
... If you get your ass killed, I am not helping you.
Screen Queen:
I'm breaking up with your ass.
Danger Tits:
No you're not.
Vagina:
Controlling much? LMAO
Danger Tits:
You know exactly how controlling I can be.
Daddy Issues:
... Let's not.
Carfight:
... Velvette, did you really make a post showing Adam's genitals, then put "In other news, Carmine is gay and I was right. Suck it bitches."
Screen Queen:
Yes I did. The fuck are you gonna do about it Grandma?
Danger Tits:
... What the fuck is wrong with you today?
Rosie:
What do you mean? She's like that in the overlord chat all the time.
Pop My Cherri:
THERE'S AN OVERLORD CHAT?
Rosie:
... It's new. She's the one who started it about a month ago, and every day, she sends a message about how she's the shit and we should all suck it. It pisses off Carmine and Zestial.
Pear:
I keep forgetting Zestial's old ass has a phone.
Roo:
WE GOT A MATTRESS!
Elle:
... Who's fucking mattress is that?
Roo:
... Don't worry about it.
Dick Master:
GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!
Kayden:
NO!
Harder Daddy:
I want a fucking turn!
Short King:
If no one breaks their neck first.
Roo:
We'll be fine... Lilith, stop fucking recording.
Lilith:
No. Also, I read something from Earth where someone said that I am one of the seven deadly sins and... I'm kicking out Mammon and taking his fucking spot. LMAO
Buzz Buzz:
I think some spots would have to be switched around, but honestly... OK. Fuck Mammon. Oh, and I'm on my way.
Daddy Issues:
... Why?
Buzz Buzz:
MATTRESS!
Morana:
I still can't believe how bad you are at staying inactive.
Buzz Buzz:
... Respectfully, fuck off.
Lilith:
... I pissed off Mammon. LMAO, I texted him telling him I was going to take his spot.
Short King:
You sent it to the entire sins chat. Hold on... Why the fuck are you in there?
Buzz Buzz:
I added her a long ass time ago. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
I hate all of these side chats. I WANT IN!
Short King:
You're already in the threesome details chat.
Pop My Cherri:
IT'S STILL NOT FAIR!
Two Dicks:
FRANK HERE! Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they're called pets?
Squeak:
I was thinking about that yesterday!
Whiskers:
I have no idea. It's like how we can drink a drink, but not food a food.
Elle:
OH SHIT! THE MATTRESS!
Lilith:
THAT'S WHY I WAS FILMING! IT FLIPPED!
Roo:
To be fair, it was my fault. LMAO, we're all fine.
Kayden:
We need a longer staircase!
Harder Daddy:
MY TURN BITCHES! MOVE! I used to do this with Molly all the fucking time!
(Squeak added Molly to the chat)
Molly:
Yeah, and we got in so much damn trouble every time.
Harder Daddy:
GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE! JOIN ME!
Vagina:
I'm guessing God snapped all of the assholes there out of that weird state?
Molly:
Yeah... It was weird as hell. I don't remember shit from the last several decades or whatever.
Pop My Cherri:
... I'm sorry but...
{Pop My Cherri changed Molly to Holy Drugs}
Pear:
What the actual fuck?
Pop My Cherri:
Her name makes me think of drugs, and she is in Heaven. Holy drugs!
STAB:
Don't you two have a brother too?
Harder Daddy:
... We're close... But not with him. It's complicated.
Holy Drugs:
He's in Hell, right? Have you seen him lately?
Harder Daddy:
Nope.
Big Ass Forehead:
I did. I passed Arackniss on my way to get new anal beads.
Whiskers:
... You could've left the anal beads out.
Daddy Issues:
That name just makes me think of Arachne from Greek mythology.
Buzz Buzz:
HOLY SHIT! Same!
Mouth:
I thought you were on your way. Where the fuck are you?
Buzz Buzz:
... A new cookie place opened. I just left.
Lilith:
Really living up to your title, aren't you?
Danger Tits:
Damn... That was fucking insulting.
Vagina:
... You stabbed out my eye and ripped my wings off with your bare fucking hands. You're really going to comment on something insulting?
Danger Tits:
... You got your wings back, and I can't fucking give you another eye. Let it the fuck go.
Screen Queen:
... Would you be nice? Damn.
Danger Tits:
Oh, so it was OK for you to be an ass earlier, but when I literally just act like myself, it's a fucking problem?
Rosie:
... Couple problems?
Elle:
No... They're both bullshitting. They're fucking cuddling on the couch while Angel and his sister are looking like idiots surfing down the stairs on that mattress.
Roo:
And Lilith is still being a bitch and videoing.
Screen Queen:
Send me the videos. My hands are busy.
Harder Daddy:
NO FINGER FUCKING ON THE COUCH!
Holy Drugs:
... He fell. I hope typing that was worth it.
Carfight:
... You all concern me.
Freaky Face:
That's why I don't engage.
Morana:
... You just need to loosen up.
Dick Master:
He's a pussy.
Carfight:
No one asked for your input.
Dick Master:
I'M IN THIS CHAT BITCH! I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT!
Carfight:
... That same logic applies to me. Shut the fuck up.
Daddy Issues:
... I think we've ruined Carmine. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
Yeah, we have... Oops.