Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Chaos Begins

A/N: To start off this shit, here are the chat names, although I feel like a lot of these are obvious as fuck. If I add more characters in the future, which I will, there names will either be so obvious that I shouldn't have to clarify who they are, or I'll have the characters say something to confirm who it is. I'm not writing this list again because... I don't want to.

Names:
Daddy Issues: Charlie
Vagina: Vaggie
Harder Daddy: Angel Dust
Freaky Face: Alastor
Whiskers: Husk
STAB: Niffty
Two Dicks: Sir Pentious
Pop My Cherri: Cherri Bomb
Short King: Lucifer
Others: Will come later with obvious or stated names... Don't complain

Now... Let's get started.

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[Harder Daddy has started the chat]
(Harder Daddy has added 8 members to the chat)
Harder Daddy:
HOLY SHIT! Val is a piece of steaming dog shit. Have any of you ever had to do training to beat the World Record of being fucked the most times? It's exhausting!
Vagina:
IT'S 3:47 AM! SHUT UP!
PoP My Cherri:
VAGINA? LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
HOLY SHIT! MY FUCKING NAME! FUCKING BRILLIANT!
Daddy Issues:
... MY DAD IS IN THIS CHAT?
Whiskers:
... Drink number 134... You fuckers are making me break my record for one night.
Short King:
I was sleeping but my cellular device keeps quacking at me! Am I needed?
Short King:
... I'M NOT THAT FUCKING SHORT!
Harder Daddy:
CELLULAR DEVICE?
STAB:
FRED THE STAIN IS GROWING!
Vagina:
... It's still too early for this shit. Was this chat seriously made just to complain about some piece of shit?
Harder Daddy:
Yes.
Daddy Issues:
Is Freaky Face Alastor? How did you get him to join?
Freaky Face:
We made a deal.
Vagina:
@HarderDaddy HOW FUCKING STUPID COULD YOU BE?
Freaky Face:
Might I remind you that you made a deal with me as well? No need to be hypocritical.
Vagina:
... I'm going back to sleep.
Short King:
@TwoDicks I think one of your eggs followed me home.
Whiskers:
Wasn't his ass redeemed? Why is he still here? Or, did he just not take those egg things with him? Fuck... Drink number 135...
Harder Daddy:
... @ShortKing He's a bit... Occupied at the moment.
Pop My Cherri:
No he isn't. That's some random dickheads outside. They look like they're having a group fucking session with a trashcan.
Freaky Face:
... Not anymore. I took care of them...
Two Dicks:
How dare you accuse me of such actions!
Pop My Cherri:
... We were fucking like 2 hours ago. LMAO
Daddy Issues:
... I'm starting to rethink this whole redemption thing.
Short King:
Wait... This conversation started with someone named Val. Who the fuck is that?
Vagina:
NO! DON'T ASK! SHIT!!
Harder Daddy:
FUCKING VAL!
Harder Daddy:
THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
Harder Daddy:
I have a contract with the fucker, and he's a manipulative asshole. I mean, I get that we're in Hell, but FUCK!
Short King:
... And, where does he live?
Daddy Issues:
... Oh fuck.
Freaky Face:
... Ha, I already know. I could technically go deal with him now.
Short King:
But you haven't... Pussy.
Vagina:
LMFAO, that's seriously my future FIL?
Daddy Issues:
... Is that your way of proposing?
Vagina:
... No. Damn, it's insulting that you think I'd propose that way.
Short King:
WHEN'S THE WEDDING?
Harder Daddy:
Can I officiate it?
Harder Daddy:
*Clears throat* All of you pieces of shit, we have gathered here today to watch two fuckers make out, even though we've seen it before. Seriously, they were practically fucking in the kitchen last week. Anyway, this time, it's more special for some reason. Blah, vows, blah, cheesy shit... YOU MAY NOW FUCK THE BRIDE!
Vagina:
No.
STAB:
I want to be the flower girl, but can I throw stabby things instead?
Daddy Issues:
WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS NOW?
Two Dicks:
Yeah... We never figured out what the deal was between the Spider and the Radio Demon.
Harder Daddy:
I sold him my dick.
Freaky Face:
... Our deal was simple. I'd join this... Chat thing... If he would stop making sexual advances at me.
Harder Daddy:
Yeah, we didn't shake on it though. It's not official, so... I'm not going to stop.
Daddy Issues:
That's not fair. Maybe tone it down a bit?
Vagina:
... Respect the fact that Alastor is fucking asexual, or I'll fucking hurt you.
Harder Daddy:
Oh? I thought you didn't like him.
Vagina:
I fucking hate him. I'm just not going to disrespect something like that.
Pop My Cherri:
Since we're all up and clearly not going back to sleep... Who wants to go out or something. There's a shitty restaurant down the street.
Whiskers:
Why would we want to go to a shitty restaurant?
Pop My Cherri:
Stupid shit happens there all of the time.
Whiskers:
... Stupid shit happens here too.
Pop My Cherri:
... They have alcohol, and you don't have to be the one to serve it.
Whiskers:
... Fuck you. Fine.
Two Dicks:
WE'RE GOING OUT?
Short King:
I'LL BE THERE... I'm lonely. I need friends.
Vagina:
... Clearly.
Daddy Issues:
... Be nice.
Vagina:
... No.
STAB:
I HAVE AN IDEA!
Harder Daddy:
... Should we take cover?
STAB:
@ShortKing @Vagina You two should start a club for Fallen Angels or something. Find others.
Vagina:
Great idea... A club with two fucking members. That wouldn't be awkward at all.
Two Dicks:
You could invite Camaro Carfight to join.
Short King:
... Who the fuck is that?
Vagina:
Why the hell would we invite Carmilla fucking Carmine?
Two Dicks:
Is she not one of your kind?
Daddy Issues:
... She kind of looks like it, doesn't she?
Vagina:
... We aren't making a club, and we aren't inviting people based on assumptions.
Short King:
NOPE! WE'RE MAKING A CLUB!
Vagina:
You really need friends.
Harder Daddy:
Honestly. That club consists of the King of Hell, Vagina, and a bunch of rubber ducks probably.
Daddy Issues:
... Now I'm just concerned.
Pop My Cherri:
On second thought... We can go to that shitty restaurant another time. All of you, unpack your trauma or whatever.
Whiskers:
Drink number 136...
Freaky Face:
...
Vagina:
We're done here.