Danger Tits:
@Vagina HELP! FUCKING ANSWER BITCH!
Vagina:
... Who the fuck are you... Some fucked up clone?
Danger Tits:
It's me you dumbass. Just answer my fucking question. Did you and I ever fuck?
Vagina:
... No, no we did not. Why is that even a question?
Daddy Issues:
... @DickMaster thinks it happened. He's been spam texting me about it since 2:00 in the morning.
Dick Master:
BECAUSE IT TOTALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
Danger Tits:
NO IT DID NOT!
Harder Daddy:
Imagine if you two did fuck now. Talk about comrades, to enemies, to lovers... And not in the romantic way. LMFAO
Screen Queen:
FUCKING COMRADES!
Vagina:
... I'm taken. Why the hell would we fuck?
Two Dicks:
Threesome... Open relationship, plenty of reasons.
Daddy Issues:
No thank you.
Danger Tits:
... A fucking threesome? Fuck no.
Vagina:
Glad we're all in agreement.
(Dick Master added Lilith to the chat)
Dick Master:
Back me up bitch! THEY FUCKED!
Lilith:
... Stop adding me to this shit.
Daddy Issues:
ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS MOM! SHIT!
Lilith:
... Bye.
(Lilith has left the chat)
Whiskers:
Why do you keep adding her. It's clear she doesn't give two shits.
Dick Master:
BECAUSE I NEED HER TO BACK ME UP!
(Dick Master added Exorcist 37 to the chat)
Dick Master:
Did @DangerTits and @Vagina fuck?
Screen Queen:
HE ADDED SOME RANDOM FUCKING EXORCIST? LMFAO, he's desperate as hell.
Big Ass Forehead:
Hmmm, almost as desperate as FUCKING ALASTOR! SCREW YOU!
Freaky Face:
I haven't even said anything.
Danger Tits:
... @DickMaster You added the exorcist that was killed by fucking Carmine. How do you expect that one to answer dumbass?
Pop My Cherri:
How do you know it was her who killed that exorcist like... Ages ago?
Vagina:
We discussed it when we had our... Coffee outing or whatever that was.
Exorcist 37:
My name is Todd... Who the fuck are you assholes?
STAB:
ARE YOU A BAD BOY?
Daddy Issues:
Who the actual fuck is Todd?
Exorcist 37:
Me bitch.
Dick Master:
Fucking leave Todd.
Freaky Face:
... Better than Susan.
Daddy Issues:
HOLY SHIT! FUCK SUSAN!
(Short King has removed Exorcist 37 from the chat)
Short King:
What the fuck did I miss?
Harder Daddy:
@Vagina and @DangerTits fucked.
Vagina:
NO WE FUCKING DID NOT! SHUT UP!
Two Dicks:
Sure. Maybe you two weren't getting coffee at all... Maybe you were making up for lost time and fucking again.
Pop My Cherri:
ONE OF HIS FUCKING EGGS HAS HIS PHONE! LMFAO!
Short King:
Please do not accuse my future daughter-in-law of cheating.
Vagina:
Does that mean I have your blessing to marry your daughter? LMFAO
Short King:
FUCK NO! This is Hell. We don't do blessings. Gross.
Vagina:
LMAO, good point.
Dick Master:
Oh... You also missed Lilith again who was SUPPOSED TO BACK ME THE FUCK UP!
Short King:
... I bet she'd back me up. Who did she choose to fuck and have a kid with in the end fucker?
Dick Master:
BET ASSHOLE! If she doesn't, I get to destroy your daughter's hotel.
Short King:
And if she does back me up... I get to watch @DangerTits shove a sword up your ass.
Danger Tits:
... I agree with these terms.
(Short King added Lilith to the chat)
Short King:
Back me up... Having a threesome with Eve was your idea, right? I didn't make that up?
Lilith:
... FUCKING WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? Also, yes.
Short King:
Also, you agree with me that @Vagina has our... Permission... To marry our daughter?
Lilith:
Sure. I don't give two shits.
Whiskers:
I FUCKING CALLED IT!
Short King:
I FUCKING WON! SUCK IT BITCH!
Danger Tits:
... I'm getting the sword.
Dick Master:
FUCK BOTH OF YOU!
Daddy Issues:
Mom... Can you just stay in the chat and mute it so we don't have to keep adding you for questions like this? We could just tag you.
Lilith:
... Fucking fine.
Dick master:
I'm gonna spam her.
Screen Queen:
... God, I've never officially met you but I fucking hate you. I can see why both of your wives left your ass.
Big Ass Forehead:
LMFAO,
Harder Daddy:
Can we give @Lilith a better chat name?
Lilith:
... No.
Short King:
Yes... But I want to give it. Just let me think of something good.
Whiskers:
That's fair. It is your wife after all...
STAB:
I thought they were divorced. OOOOOH! Does that mean @DaddyIssues has two Christmases?
Vagina:
Niffty... This is Hell. No.
Big Ass Forehead:
I celebrate Christmas, but only to send Alastor shitty gifts.
Freaky Face:
His idea of "Shitty Gifts" is him finding newspaper clippings about my victims from when I was alive.
Screen Queen:
... I bet you enjoy that. You probably put them on your wall or something.
Freaky Face:
You are correct. And he called me desperate earlier.
Screen Queen:
... I'm quitting The Vees. Val is... Not sure what happened to him. And, Vox is clearly an idiot. I'm too good to work with that shit.
Big Ass Forehead:
WE DIDN'T NEED YOU ANYWAY STUPID BITCH! GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU TOO, ALASTOR!
Daddy Issues:
@ScreenQueen COME STAY AT MY HOTEL! PLEASE! 😊
Harder Daddy:
Rent is free...
Screen Queen:
Fucking deal.
STAB:
Aw... Not a bad boy.
Screen Queen:
I'm a bad bitch though.
Big Ass Forehead:
You're a stupid bitch.
Screen Queen:
Says the asshole who's screen blames Alastor when he malfunctions.
Freaky Face:
... Why is it blaming me for his fuck ups?
Vagina:
LMFAO, Because you probably did it.
Freaky Face:
... I will neither confirm nor deny that.
Harder Daddy:
... You guys know that old ass overlord? Zestial?
Short King:
Yeah. What about him?
Harder Daddy:
... ZESTIal... ZESTI... ZESTY! IS HE JUST OLD AND GAY? LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
How the actual fuck did you come up with that?
Two Dicks:
And I thought my eggs said insane shit.
Danger Tits:
Why are you all confused. @HarderDaddy is a gay ass pornstar. Of course he'd connect things like that together.
Harder Daddy:
SEE! SHE GETS IT!
Whiskers:
I'm still waiting for the outcome of the bet placed earlier.
Short King:
Oh, I'm on my way...
Dick Master:
@DangerTits I swear to our holy God... If you go through with this, I'll make sure your ass gets sent to Hell.
Danger Tits:
... Don't fucking test me. I'll fucking twist the sword once it's shoved up there. Don't say another word.
Freaky Face:
... @ShortKing, send us the video. I never thought I'd say that, but audio wouldn't be as satisfying.
Short King:
Oh, I will.
Dick Master:
FUCK YOU!
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin Hotel Group Chat
FanfictionWelcome to my shitty story. The title explains it all. And now... DISCLAIMERS! Because people get pissed over stupid shit. Seriously, if you don't like my story, then don't read it. •Characters may be a bit off because... Why not? It's fun to see...