Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Flings, Bets, and More Bullshit

Danger Tits:
@Vagina HELP! FUCKING ANSWER BITCH!
Vagina:
... Who the fuck are you... Some fucked up clone?
Danger Tits:
It's me you dumbass. Just answer my fucking question. Did you and I ever fuck?
Vagina:
... No, no we did not. Why is that even a question?
Daddy Issues:
... @DickMaster thinks it happened. He's been spam texting me about it since 2:00 in the morning.
Dick Master:
BECAUSE IT TOTALLY FUCKING HAPPENED!
Danger Tits:
NO IT DID NOT!
Harder Daddy:
Imagine if you two did fuck now. Talk about comrades, to enemies, to lovers... And not in the romantic way. LMFAO
Screen Queen:
FUCKING COMRADES!
Vagina:
... I'm taken. Why the hell would we fuck?
Two Dicks:
Threesome... Open relationship, plenty of reasons.
Daddy Issues:
No thank you.
Danger Tits:
... A fucking threesome? Fuck no.
Vagina:
Glad we're all in agreement.
(Dick Master added Lilith to the chat)
Dick Master:
Back me up bitch! THEY FUCKED!
Lilith:
... Stop adding me to this shit.
Daddy Issues:
ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS MOM! SHIT!
Lilith:
... Bye.
(Lilith has left the chat)
Whiskers:
Why do you keep adding her. It's clear she doesn't give two shits.
Dick Master:
BECAUSE I NEED HER TO BACK ME UP!
(Dick Master added Exorcist 37 to the chat)
Dick Master:
Did @DangerTits and @Vagina fuck?
Screen Queen:
HE ADDED SOME RANDOM FUCKING EXORCIST? LMFAO, he's desperate as hell.
Big Ass Forehead:
Hmmm, almost as desperate as FUCKING ALASTOR! SCREW YOU!
Freaky Face:
I haven't even said anything.
Danger Tits:
... @DickMaster You added the exorcist that was killed by fucking Carmine. How do you expect that one to answer dumbass?
Pop My Cherri:
How do you know it was her who killed that exorcist like... Ages ago?
Vagina:
We discussed it when we had our... Coffee outing or whatever that was.
Exorcist 37:
My name is Todd... Who the fuck are you assholes?
STAB:
ARE YOU A BAD BOY?
Daddy Issues:
Who the actual fuck is Todd?
Exorcist 37:
Me bitch.
Dick Master:
Fucking leave Todd.
Freaky Face:
... Better than Susan.
Daddy Issues:
HOLY SHIT! FUCK SUSAN!
(Short King has removed Exorcist 37 from the chat)
Short King:
What the fuck did I miss?
Harder Daddy:
@Vagina and @DangerTits fucked.
Vagina:
NO WE FUCKING DID NOT! SHUT UP!
Two Dicks:
Sure. Maybe you two weren't getting coffee at all... Maybe you were making up for lost time and fucking again.
Pop My Cherri:
ONE OF HIS FUCKING EGGS HAS HIS PHONE! LMFAO!
Short King:
Please do not accuse my future daughter-in-law of cheating.
Vagina:
Does that mean I have your blessing to marry your daughter? LMFAO
Short King:
FUCK NO! This is Hell. We don't do blessings. Gross.
Vagina:
LMAO, good point.
Dick Master:
Oh... You also missed Lilith again who was SUPPOSED TO BACK ME THE FUCK UP!
Short King:
... I bet she'd back me up. Who did she choose to fuck and have a kid with in the end fucker?
Dick Master:
BET ASSHOLE! If she doesn't, I get to destroy your daughter's hotel.
Short King:
And if she does back me up... I get to watch @DangerTits shove a sword up your ass.
Danger Tits:
... I agree with these terms.
(Short King added Lilith to the chat)
Short King:
Back me up... Having a threesome with Eve was your idea, right? I didn't make that up?
Lilith:
... FUCKING WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? Also, yes.
Short King:
Also, you agree with me that @Vagina has our... Permission... To marry our daughter?
Lilith:
Sure. I don't give two shits.
Whiskers:
I FUCKING CALLED IT!
Short King:
I FUCKING WON! SUCK IT BITCH!
Danger Tits:
... I'm getting the sword.
Dick Master:
FUCK BOTH OF YOU!
Daddy Issues:
Mom... Can you just stay in the chat and mute it so we don't have to keep adding you for questions like this? We could just tag you.
Lilith:
... Fucking fine.
Dick master:
I'm gonna spam her.
Screen Queen:
... God, I've never officially met you but I fucking hate you. I can see why both of your wives left your ass.
Big Ass Forehead:
LMFAO,
Harder Daddy:
Can we give @Lilith a better chat name?
Lilith:
... No.
Short King:
Yes... But I want to give it. Just let me think of something good.
Whiskers:
That's fair. It is your wife after all...
STAB:
I thought they were divorced. OOOOOH! Does that mean @DaddyIssues has two Christmases?
Vagina:
Niffty... This is Hell. No.
Big Ass Forehead:
I celebrate Christmas, but only to send Alastor shitty gifts.
Freaky Face:
His idea of "Shitty Gifts" is him finding newspaper clippings about my victims from when I was alive.
Screen Queen:
... I bet you enjoy that. You probably put them on your wall or something.
Freaky Face:
You are correct. And he called me desperate earlier.
Screen Queen:
... I'm quitting The Vees. Val is... Not sure what happened to him. And, Vox is clearly an idiot. I'm too good to work with that shit.
Big Ass Forehead:
WE DIDN'T NEED YOU ANYWAY STUPID BITCH! GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU TOO, ALASTOR!
Daddy Issues:
@ScreenQueen COME STAY AT MY HOTEL! PLEASE! 😊
Harder Daddy:
Rent is free...
Screen Queen:
Fucking deal.
STAB:
Aw... Not a bad boy.
Screen Queen:
I'm a bad bitch though.
Big Ass Forehead:
You're a stupid bitch.
Screen Queen:
Says the asshole who's screen blames Alastor when he malfunctions.
Freaky Face:
... Why is it blaming me for his fuck ups?
Vagina:
LMFAO, Because you probably did it.
Freaky Face:
... I will neither confirm nor deny that.
Harder Daddy:
... You guys know that old ass overlord? Zestial?
Short King:
Yeah. What about him?
Harder Daddy:
... ZESTIal... ZESTI... ZESTY! IS HE JUST OLD AND GAY? LMFAO
Pop My Cherri:
How the actual fuck did you come up with that?
Two Dicks:
And I thought my eggs said insane shit.
Danger Tits:
Why are you all confused. @HarderDaddy is a gay ass pornstar. Of course he'd connect things like that together.
Harder Daddy:
SEE! SHE GETS IT!
Whiskers:
I'm still waiting for the outcome of the bet placed earlier.
Short King:
Oh, I'm on my way...
Dick Master:
@DangerTits I swear to our holy God... If you go through with this, I'll make sure your ass gets sent to Hell.
Danger Tits:
... Don't fucking test me. I'll fucking twist the sword once it's shoved up there. Don't say another word.
Freaky Face:
... @ShortKing, send us the video. I never thought I'd say that, but audio wouldn't be as satisfying.
Short King:
Oh, I will.
Dick Master:
FUCK YOU!