Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Wedding Planning

Dick Master:
HAPPY EXTERMINATION DAY FUCKERS!
God:
Adam... I swear to myself if you're doing something stupid, I'll end you.
Mouth:
"I SWEAR TO MYSELF" LMFAO
Dick Master:
What? An extermination happened exactly one year ago today... Happy Extermination Day!
Lilith:
We are not treating that like a fucking holiday.
Buzz Buzz:
Yes, we are. I just cancelled my meetings to celebrate Extermination Day. I think I scared the shit out of the fucker I was emailing though.
Danger Tits:
... Who the fuck just wrote Happy Extermination Day in big ass letters on the side of the building? @STAB I bet it was you bitch.
STAB:
I PLEAD THE 1ST!
Freaky Face:
Niffty... It's "I plead the 5th".
STAB:
No... Freedom of speech. I plead the 1st!
Whiskers:
... It's still not a fucking special day. Lucifer, that means that you beginning to randomly drink has no reason.
Short King:
Fuck off. You're always drunk. I can drink if I want. I'm the King of Hell.
Roo:
... Alright fucker... Did something happen? You don't usually do that shit.
Short King:
MY DAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED! 😭 I just can't!
Daddy Issues:
... I'm sorry?
Lilith:
He doesn't mean it like that. It's just... Emotional.
Harder Daddy:
So... We're planning that wedding now, right? I've got ideas!
Vagina:
I don't want any of your fucking ideas. And no, you're not officiating the wedding.
Harder Daddy:
Damn it... PLEASE? IT WOULD BE FUNNY!
Two Dicks:
Who's taking the last name of the other?
Vagina:
Considering the fact that I don't really have a last name... That should answer the question.
Danger Tits:
... Holy shit. You just made me realized that we don't have last names. LMAO
Dick Master:
You don't need them. Shit, all you guys were for was to slaughter sinners. Who gives a shit about your last names?
Vagina:
... Fuck off asshole.
God:
... It would be fitting for me to officiate it. LMAO
Daddy Issues:
"Oh, yeah... My wedding was officiated by God himself" That sounds like fucking insanity.
God:
Good point... Who the fuck cares though? I want to do it.
Harder Daddy:
I WANT TO! I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU!
Big Ass Forehead:
Damn... Threatening to fight God? I don't know why Val liked such a dumb bitch.
Whiskers:
... Who gives a fuck what that piece of shit liked? Fuck him.
Harder Daddy:
Fucking cheers to that!
Freaky Face:
... I'd like to see you fight God. It would be entertaining to see you fail.
Vagina:
You really are an asshole.
God:
... Can we do wrestling?
Harder Daddy:
What the actual fuck?
God:
... Is that a no?
Squeak:
Do you just have nothing to do today?
God:
... Yeah.
Screen Queen:
Yeah, no one cares... Can I be the photographer at the wedding? And if you need security, I'm volunteering @DangerTits.
Danger Tits:
... Bitch, you could just say my name.
Screen Queen:
... Fucking whatever.
Vagina:
Damn it... Fine. God is officiating, we've got security if needed, and a photographer. You assholes are annoying.
Buzz Buzz:
You forgot me! I'm providing alcohol!
Vagina:
... That too. Shit.
Daddy Issues:
Be nice! They're just trying to help.
Vagina:
... I am being nice. I agreed.
STAB:
I'M THE FLOWER GIRL!
Kayden:
You actually have to throw flowers though...
STAB:
I'd rather throw stabby things.
Pop My Cherri:
Niffty... Flower girl means you throw flowers.
STAB:
STABBY THINGS!
Whiskers:
... Lucifer is still drinking.
Short King:
MY LITTLE GIRL IS GROWING UP! I'M GETTING OLD! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! 😭
Pear:
Isn't she like 200 years old or something?
Lilith:
... He's like 10000 years old... She's extremely young compared to him. LMFAO
Pear:
... Good point.
Daddy Issues:
While we're on the topic of planning though... @Carfight You said to reach out to you. Do you know anyone who could take care of the decorations? I would also ask about food, but I think we've got that covered.
Carfight:
I do. I'll send a list of companies. And... Who's handling the food? I can't help but be concerned.
Roo:
Several of us actually. It's not going to be a massive wedding or anything, so there's about five of us who are going to prepare different things.
Screen Queen:
You're making the cake, right?
Roo:
Holy shit! Let that cake thing go! LMAO
Carfight:
If you need assistance, I'll be available. Just tell me in advance in case I need to cancel a meeting.
Pop My Cherri:
I can't help but be shocked that it's not going to be a large wedding considering the fact that it's the Princess of Hell getting married.
Daddy Issues:
... I don't want a bunch of random fuckers showing up. It would feel less meaningful. I only want individuals I've known throughout my life and that I was close to.
Vagina:
And considering that her and I basically hang out with the same group of idiots, I'm not inviting anyone extra. Who the fuck would I invite anyway? Fucking exorcists?
Danger Tits:
I'll be there asshole.
Vagina:
Fair enough. Adam, you're not fucking invited.
Dick Master:
BUT I WANT TO SEE TWO HOT WOMEN KISS!
Two Dicks:
You have issues. Also, the King of Hell is sobbing in a corner.
Lilith:
Are you fucking kidding me? I married that?
Pop My Cherri:
Don't act like you don't love him.
Lilith:
... Don't fucking call me out like that bitch.
Mouth:
Is someone at least making a list for the wedding planning?
Daddy Issues:
I am... I've been making the list since the proposal happened.
Two Dicks:
The fact that we didn't celebrate that proposal is unlike us.
Pop My Cherri:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US? WE SHOULD FUCK SHIT UP!
Vagina:
... I am not in the mood for that. LMAO
Kayden:
Besides... Charlie said we were going to watch a movie tonight!
Daddy Issues:
I did say that... And Alastor, don't complain like last time.
Freaky Face:
I just won't join. This group chat is enough technology for one day.
Squeak:
You've literally sent two messages today.
Freaky Face:
Exactly... I hate new technology.
Big Ass Forehead:
You just can't admit it's better than radio.
Freaky Face:
It is not better than radio. Today's bullshit wouldn't exist without radio.
Big Ass Forehead:
Go fuck yourself!
Freaky Face:
Wow... That's all you could come up with. Pathetic.
Harder Daddy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!