Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

I'M BACK!

A/N: Here's a picture of my fucking perfect cat, who I sadly had to put down on August 13. I miss my little shit. I would've had her for 9 years in December.

In other news, I got a new cat like a week later, and she's an asshole. Now, I'm back at my fucking dorm and life feels so fucking wrong. Here's my new cat.

Danger Tits:
... SQUIRTY CREAM! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?
Screen Queen:
I already fucking explained it! Now, can you please get me some?
Harder Daddy:
I bet she can make you "squirty cream".
V = D/T:
... I wish I could unsee that.
Vagina:
... Just a daily reminder... Angel, I fucking hate everything that comes out of your mouth.
Harder Daddy:
... And I hate that your wife has a "mommy kink", but I can't do anything about it.
DaddyIssues:
... No I don't.
Harder Daddy:
YES YOU FUCKING DO!
Whiskers:
... He's drunk as shit.
Screen Queen:
... I still want that fucking squirty cream.
Danger Tits:
No.
Pop My Cherri:
... $200, they will break up soon, but continue to randomly fuck.
Carfight:
I don't think so. I saw them last night having what seemed to be a very romantic date... That was until a certain someone noticed me and the individual I was with, and came over to interrupt us.
Screen Queen:
I just wanted to meet your date.
Vagina:
Do you not know how to mind your own business?
STAB:
No, and neither do I. I was there in some random lady's purse watching the whole thing. I also stole her wallet, which was just full of pictures of leaves.
Holy Drugs:
That is a depressing wallet. LMAO
Vicks:
... At least it has something in it? :)
Holy Drugs:
... PICTURES OF LEAVES! 🍂
Morana:
... My wallet has a picture of a tombstone in it. It says, "If you're reading this, you're standing on my tits."
Freaky Face:
... Please tell me that's not yours.
Morana:
No... My whore mother's.
Lilith:
LMFAO, did you just call your mother a whore?
Morana:
Yes... She had a reputation of screwing 12 men a day... She was homophobic and was constantly in many "committed" relationships. None of them knew about each other. It wasn't open or anything.
Lilith:
... Oh.
Short King:
... H O T T O G O!
Kayden:
YOU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO!
Elle:
STOP FUCKING BLASTING THAT!
Short King:
NO!
Roo:
You should see him trying to do the dance... He keeps screwing it up and it's fucking funny.
Dick Master:
Fuck that gay shit.
Harder Daddy:
Speaking of gay shit... How do people enjoy eating ass? Like, I've done a lot in my lifetime, and my afterlife, but... EATING ASS? That's a shit hole!
Big Ass Forehead:
You just haven't eaten good ass.
Pear:
... Ew. I wish I didn't open my phone just now.
Whiskers:
... @Vagina @ShortKing @Lilith One of you come get Charlie. This bitch started drinking after Angel claimed she had... What he said.
Harder Daddy:
A MOMMY KINK! SHE FUCKING HAS ONE!
Vagina:
... Angel, go fuck yourself. Actually... You'd enjoy that. Go eat an ass.
Big Ass Forehead:
Eat mine.
Harder Daddy:
NO! FUCK OFF!
V = D/T:
I'm moving out.
Buzz Buzz:
Move to the gluttony ring. LMAO, it's far enough away from him.
V = D/T:
... I can't come there.
Short King:
Oh... You weren't here when I gave the passes... I'll give you one!
Daddy Issues:
Guuuuyyyys! I think I'm in looooveeee! I think we're going to go on a date!
Vagina:
... We're already married.
Daddy Issues:
... Does that mean no date? 😭
Vicks:
... She's sobbing. Is she OK?
Squeak:
... She's just drunk. You'll get used to it. I had to. LMAO, living in Heaven for my entire life made that hard.
Dick Master:
Why is alcohol considered a sin when there was wine in the Bible?
Danger Tits:
That is the first smart question you've ever asked. And, I don't know.
Carfight:
It's because the ones who run Heaven are hypocrites who pick and choose what to follow. They see small parts of the picture when they need to look at the whole thing. Thanks to their narrow-minded perspective, things get misconstrued. And no, I'm not saying all religious people are like that. Just a lot of the ones in power.
Screen Queen:
Hmmm... Sounds like something a fallen angel would say. Yes, I'm back on this... YOU'RE FROM HEAVEN BITCH!
Carfight:
... Why do you constantly bother me?
Two Dicks:
Maybe she likes you.
Screen Queen:
Honestly, yeah. LMAO
Pop My Cherri:
SHE'S CHEATING! LMFAO
Danger Tits:
... I don't think her and Carmine would screw... Carmine wouldn't allow it.
Carfight.":
Not wrong.
Rosie:
You all concern me. I don't even know what's going on anymore.
Buzz Buzz:
That's the fun of it in my opinion.
STAB:
YAY! CHAOS!
Screen Queen:
Anyway, I'm going to the store since my beloved girlfriend WON'T GET ME WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR! BITCH! So, does anyone need anything?
Elle:
Rope.
Harder Daddy:
Whoa? Kinky! For what?
Elle:
An art project you pervert. Fuck off.
Vagina:
... I need sanity.
Screen Queen:
They don't sell that.
Holy Drugs:
... If I pay you back, can you find me the grossest or weirdest looking snack at that store. I've only been in Hell for a bit and I just want to know what weird shit is made here.
Screen Queen:
... I know exactly what to get. And honestly, the only payment I need is the look on your face when you try it. LMAO
Danger Tits:
I'm still confused about that "Beloved girlfriend" comment. The fuck?
Roo:
She also called you a bitch. LMAO
Danger Tits:
I'm used to that. That's fine. LMAO
Vicks:
... Are you OK? Has anyone ever asked you that?
Danger Tits:
No, and no.
Daddy Issues:
Update! We're skipping the date and going straight to the bedroom. I like a girl that's straightforward.
Vagina:
... I'm just putting your ass to bed... Unless...
Lilith:
Hell yeah. You two have fun!~
Freaky Face:
That level of supportiveness is concerning.
Lilith:
... Mind your own fucking business shithead.
Screen Queen:
I've left the store, so anyone else who needed anything, you're out of luck.
Danger Tits:
Did you get what you needed? LMAO
Screen Queen:
Yeah... No thanks to you. Fuck you.
Danger Tits:
... No. I'll be the one fucking you.
Two Dicks:
She just sprinted through the door. I guess she's excited to do the sex.
Pop My Cherri:
Stop fucking saying shit like that. LMFAO