Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Hell on Earth

A/N: I've been thinking... You people know practically nothing about me or my life, besides the few stupid things I've said about me being high, being in college or having a cat. Other than that, I'm just some random dumb bitch online. Who knows? It all may be a lie. I may be an old man named Hubert who is in love with a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper.

Daddy Issues:
Can we please just make this a nice game of bowling? Last night was bad enough.
Lilith:
Yeah... Whoever was fucking broke the damn ceiling.
Pear:
I saw who it was this morning at the hotel breakfast thing. It was two old ass people, probably in their 90s. Don't know how they could fuck like that, but I got no sleep.
Vagina:
I got no fucking sleep either and had a breakdown on the bathroom floor. This trip is shit.
Danger Tits:
I have an extra thing of earplugs if you need them. LMAO
Vagina:
Fucking please!
Whiskers:
Good news... This bowling place has a bar attached.
Buzz Buzz:
Seriously, you have problems.
Whiskers:
Thank you Captain Obvious.
Dick Master:
Let's start! I'm going to beat all of you fuckers!
Screen Queen:
... We have multiple teams. We couldn't all be on one lane. LMAO
Dick Master:
I'm still going to win. I'm going first.
Roo:
... GUTTER BALL! HE FUCKING SUCKS AT BOWLING!
Danger Tits:
I know. I fucking said that shit earlier. Funny thing is, I've actually never done bowling. I had to just watch his ass.
Squeak:
Then why the fuck did you get a strike on your first try?
Danger Tits:
I'm naturally talented. LMAO
Kayden:
Petition to let me use Niffty as a bowling ball?
STAB:
I LIKE THIS IDEA!
Mouth:
I feel like that's cheating somehow.
Vicks:
It might hurt her.
STAB:
I LIKE PAIN! YIPPEEEEEE!
Roo:
I think it would be entertaining. Do it.
Screen Queen:
Just went to get a drink, and I overheard Adam trying to get them to put up the bumper things so he won't suck anymore.
Dick Master:
I DID NOT!
Whiskers:
Yes you did... I've been at the bar the entire time.
V = D/T:
My ball keeps going through the hole. Even if I knock one pin down, my ball is going to go through that hole.
Harder Daddy:
HA! IN THE HOLE! YOU'RE GOOD AT FINDING THE HOLE!
V = D/T:
I no longer wish to play.
Holy Drugs:
CHERRI NO!
Pop My Cherri:
CHERRI YES! I'M DOING IT BITCH!
Short King:
And we're going to get kicked out.
Rosie:
... What did she do? I can only imagine it was something ridiculous.
Two Dicks:
She started sliding down the bowling lane on her stomach.
Pop My Cherri:
IT'S FUN! JOIN BITCHES!
Lilith:
... And there goes Angel. I'm not shocked.
Daddy Issues:
At least they're having fun?... :)
Vagina:
... Even you're struggling to see the good in this situation.
Daddy Issues:
... Yeah.
Freaky Face:
I'm still glad I didn't go on that trip.
Carfight:
I'm regretting not going. It sounds like a disaster. Vaggie won't answer any messages or calls from me. I'm assuming she's still mad at me and has blocked me.
Elle:
LMFAO, fucking seriously.
Screen Queen:
Oh, but if I were to do that, you'd have my head. Don't pick favorites old hag.
Carfight:
I have every right to pick favorites. You're a disrespectful little shit, and Vaggie is... Well, she is what she is.
Mouth:
The fuck does that mean? LMAO
Kayden:
It honestly makes sense.
Danger Tits:
... @Carfight Do not call my girlfriend a disrespectful little shit.
Screen Queen:
YOU FINALLY STICK UP FOR ME? FUCK!
Danger Tits:
I didn't finish... There are insults that are so much better when it comes to harshness, and fitting her.
Carfight:
Noted.
Screen Queen:
... Cherri was right. We won't fucking last.
Roo:
We're getting kicked out. LMAO
Short King:
THAT MEANS MORE TIME AT THE DUCK STORE!
Holy Drugs:
I think we just trampled a group of children on a field trip.
Pear:
We did. I stepped on one with an ugly pink hat.
Vicks:
I'm helping them up. You guys are cruel.
Squeak:
I stayed too... To drag Husk away from the bar.
Whiskers:
THE DUCK STORE WILL NOT HAVE ALCOHOL!
Big Ass Forehead:
You're more addicted to alcohol than I'm addicted to sex.
Harder Daddy:
... You constantly have something up your ass. I disagree.
V = D/T:
Shut up.
Two Dicks:
... I can't believe there's an entire store dedicated to selling rubber ducks.
Kayden:
I think it's fun!
Dick Master:
It's stupid... Minus the duck with tits.
Lilith:
Of course you'd fucking say that.
Daddy Issues:
A few of us went into the store next door... It's a candy shop.
Kayden:
NEVER MIND! SCREW THESE DUCKS! CANDY!
Vicks:
... I'm confused. They have edible underwear?
Harder Daddy:
BITCH! Aren't you a succubus? You should know what those are for.
Vicks:
... I'm not big on the sex thing, OK? Never have been. I was kind of an outcast for it.
V = D/T:
I get that to an extent. Can't stand vulgar stuff, but my parents... Complete opposite. They're gross.
Big Ass Forehead:
Don't be disrespectful.
V = D/T:
You don't deserve respect.
Mouth:
... Well, Lucifer is a fucking thief, the police have been called, and he literally stole every damn duck from the store.
Short King:
THERE IS NO PROOF I DID ANYTHING! The ducks are in Hell, the cameras weren't on, and I'm now next door.
Danger Tits:
And who's going to believe the teenage dickhead behind the counter? "A man was in here. He didn't look human, and he stole every single duck and threw them into a portal he created in the floor." Seriously...
Vagina:
That's a good point. LMAO.
Daddy Issues:
I still think it would be best that we get out of here... Everyone grab your stuff and let's go...
Screen Queen:
... Have we paid for literally anything?
Roo:
No... We gave fake ass money to the hotel and the bowling place. Lucifer stole the ducks, and now... Everyone's just stealing candy too. It's fitting. We are from Hell.
Pear:
What really sucks is... We never went camping.
Short King:
We can go in the wilderness of Hell someday.
Buzz Buzz:
The wilderness of Hell? LMFAO
Carfight:
Get back safely and don't forget anyone...
Whiskers:
I've got Niffty.
STAB:
I BOUGHT KNIVES!
Two Dicks:
... From where?
STAB:
A creepy guy in the back alley. I gave him drugs from Angel's pocket to pay for the knives.
Harder Daddy:
... Niffty, those were Skittles.
STAB:
The guy didn't know that... I still got knives.