Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Suspicion...

Mouth:
Ever since our little outing to the sandwich place... I'VE BEEN SO DAMN PARANOID! I FEEL LIKE SHE'S WATCHING ME!
Pear:
... She's not. You're fine.
Carfight:
Would you like a weapon? That might make you feel more secure.
Mouth:
YES PLEASE!
Vagina:
Is this still about the Eve/Roo thing? You're fine.
Mouth:
I JUST WALKED PAST HER IN THE HALLWAY! I'M NOT FINE!
Daddy Issues:
I think you need to get some rest. She isn't here.
Kayden:
Yes she is. She's in the kitchen now. You think she'll say yes if I ask her to make cookies with me?
Mouth:
DON'T!
Lilith:
She'll say yes.
Harder Daddy:
I want to join. I can make some good ass cookies.
Kayden:
SHE SAID YES! YAY!
Daddy Issues:
WHEN DID SHE EVEN GET HERE?
Screen Queen:
Like 3 hours ago.
Whiskers:
How did you notice that, but Charlie didn't? Your face is always buried into your damn phone, yet you noticed someone enter the hotel. Charlie had no idea, yet she's the one who owns the hotel.
Vagina:
To be fair... She was kind of busy.
Pop My Cherri:
WERE YOU FUCKING? Damn, she was actually quiet this time? Shocking.
Vagina:
NO! We were watching old home videos that Lucifer found... Not sure how that's possible considering THEY ARE OLD AS SHIT, but... They exist.
Daddy Issues:
... It was embarrassing. I watched against my will.
Short King:
THOSE VIDEOS ARE ADORABLE!
Lilith:
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE WATCHING THOSE? You could've invited me. I'm offended.
Daddy Issues:
I'm sorry!
Lilith:
I'm joking. It's fine. I have my own copies.
STAB:
I wanna see!
Short King:
Everyone can watch.
Daddy Issues:
DAD! NO!
Squeak:
I'm sure they're not that bad.
Vagina:
They're not.
God:
... I WANT TO SEE!
Daddy Issues:
... I'm leaving.
Kayden:
Come help us make cookies instead!
Harder Daddy:
Yeah... We're making way too fucking many... Just because we can.
Mouth:
@Carfight What kind of weapon are you going to give me?
Carfight:
... I'm still waiting for you to tell me what you want.
Mouth:
Oh... Fair enough.
(Eve has joined the chat)
Eve:
If you're that concerned, there's an entire room of weapons, all made from angelic steel. Just keep one of those with you.
Whiskers:
... We still have those?
Vagina:
We kind of restocked that room.
Mouth:
... FUCKING LOCK THAT ROOM!
Eve:
My hands are kind of full at the moment. I couldn't possibly handle a weapon.
Pear:
@Mouth You're seriously just being paranoid.
Two Dicks:
@Mouth You can borrow my cannon.
Carfight:
... I just gave you that. If it ends up broken, it's on you.
Daddy Issues:
No weapons. There's no threat here... EXCEPT THOSE HOME VIDEOS!
Mouth:
... I'm coming to watch you make the cookies.
Eve:
... I'm not poisoning them.
Kayden:
She's giving us recipes.
Screen Queen:
Ask @DangerTits for recipes too.
Danger Tits:
... That recipe I sent you... I fucking found that taped to God's door. I don't know who's it is. I'm most likely not going to find more.
God:
It was a good recipe. Whoever taped that to my door is fucking amazing.
Screen Queen:
Whoever it was from, we need to fucking find them.
Eve:
... Was it a recipe for lemon cake?
Screen Queen:
WAS IT YOU BITCH?
Eve:
... Yes. Yes it was.
Screen Queen:
Those cookies are going to be good as fuck then.
Harder Daddy:
No shit... I'm helping.
Whiskers:
... That ego needs to fucking go.
Dick Master:
Yeah. You have nothing to back it up. Me, on the other hand... I'M FUCKING ADAM! That's all I fucking need.
Harder Daddy:
And I'm a famous pornstar. You even knew about me. I've got plenty to back up my ego.
Danger Tits:
He knew who you were because he regularly looked through porn... And there isn't really porn in Heaven, so he would hack into the Hell system, AND FUCKING WATCH PORN!
Dick Master:
HOW DO YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT?
Danger Tits:
I walked in on you watching that shit... A lot.
STAB:
THERE'S GRAFFITI ON THE HOTEL! IT'S A POEM!
Freaky Face:
It's a terrible poem.
Pear:
"Roses are red,
Violets are green,
2+2 is 5
And 3+3 is 8."
Pear:
... What the actual fuck is that.
Vagina:
... It was one of the eggs probably.
Two Dicks:
I knew one of them was missing!
Pop My Cherri:
FORGET THAT SHIT! THE ENTIRE HOTEL SMELLS LIKE FRESH COOKIES AND IT'S THE SHIT!
STAB:
Can I go in the oven?
Harder Daddy:
Niffty... Seriously, fucking no.
STAB:
BUT PAIN!
Squeak:
... Are any of the cookies done yet?
Kayden:
One batch of chocolate chip, and one batch of peanut butter are done!
Squeak:
Can I come get one? Warm cookies are the best!
Eve:
... Have you been waiting to ask that? You've been poking your head in here for five minutes.
Squeak:
... Yes.
Harder Daddy:
Just come get a damn cookie.
Daddy Issues:
Why are we making so many?
Mouth:
There's a lot of fuckers here, random idiots come by all the time... And a certain someone might be planning a party.
Harder Daddy:
I AM NOT!
Kayden:
I told you to warn me!
Harder Daddy:
... It's not official yet. Don't worry.
Whiskers:
... It'll probably happen. I'll prepare the drinks.
Vagina:
... @God There's a party apparently. This is your invitation.
God:
HELL YEAH! TELL ME WHEN!
Harder Daddy:
Shit, I don't know.
Short King:
I'll contact someone and see if she can send us more drinks. She's got some good stuff.
Big Ass Forehead:
I am not cleaning up after you fuckers again.
Danger Tits:
... Yes you are. So is Adam. He's not invited, but he can help clean.
Dick Master:
FUCK YOU!
Screen Queen:
@BigAssForehead You've been absent this entire time... Why?
Big Ass Forehead:
I'm busy actually being successful. You all won't shut the fuck up though.
Screen Queen:
... Being successful? LMAO, get over yourself.
Big Ass Forehead:
SAYS YOU! YOU'RE SELF-OBSESSED! ALWAYS POSTING SHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA! YOU NEED VALIDATION SO FUCKING BAD! FUCK OFF!
Eve:
... Sounds like someone's bitter. One of your team members was killed off by Lucifer, and the other one left because she was sick of your shit. Even the one you call your biggest enemy doesn't care about you. Suck it up.
Freaky Face:
Not wrong. I still don't care.
Mouth:
SUSPICION RAISED AGAIN! How do you know all of that?
Eve:
I have my ways. Don't worry about it.