Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Shit Goes Wrong... AGAIN

Pear:
Who the fuck is blasting some song about a lesbian hunter?
Vagina:
... There's like five of us in here listening to it. Come join.
Pear:
No.
Dick Master:
Homophobic!
Pear:
SAYS YOUR ASS! I am not. I'm just busy.
Danger Tits:
He only tolerates lesbians because he thinks two women fucking is hot. Everything else though... Nope.
Whiskers:
All of you idiots playing cards... What drinks do you want?
Freaky Face:
Oh? We're playing cards? @Whiskers, why aren't you joining?
Whiskers:
It's not gambling. It's Cards Against Humanity. And, I am joining. I'm just getting drinks.
Vagina:
Something good. Just... Make fucking long island iced teas or some shit.
Danger Tits:
I don't know if you just have good taste, or if you're just making it easy on him.
Vagina:
Good taste. @ScreenQueen HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET DOWN HERE!
Screen Queen:
I'm fucking coming. Holy shit!
Daddy Issues:
Be nice.
Pop My cherri:
She's sitting next to her enemy... She's being nice enough.
Harder Daddy:
They keep slapping each other. You call that nice?
Danger Tits:
Correction... We are aggressively tapping each other. If you think this is slapping, you're a pussy.
Pear:
@Vagina I thought you said there were five of you.
Vagina:
It was five of us, but then Angel brought out Cards Against Humanity, and we all decided to play. Come join.
Pear:
... Who all is there?
Short King:
I want to know too. @DangerTits is clearly there, so is Adam there too?
Danger Tits:
Fuck no.
Short King:
Then I'm coming! HELL YEAH!
Pop My Cherri:
Everyone in this chat is playing except Vox, Adam, Lilith and Niffty.
Lilith:
I'm just not there yet. I'm fucking coming.
STAB:
Everyone? Does that mean big hand lady is going to play too?
Pop My Cherri:
I forgot she was in this chat. No, she's not playing.
Pear:
I might come join.
Dick Master:
WHY WASN'T I INVITED?
Daddy Issues:
We don't want you here.
Pear:
How about you guys invite @God?
(God has joined the chat)
God:
INVITE? WHERE?
Short King:
... We're playing Cards Against Humanity. You're probably busy though...
God:
COUNT ME THE FUCK IN!
Harder Daddy:
If God were to take a shit, would it be a holy shit?
Danger Tits:
... Would it be the same if he were to fuck someone? It would be a holy fuck.
Vagina:
Are you two drunk?
Danger Tits:
No. I've just had that same conversation with Adam.
Two Dicks:
I feel like we're excluding Niffty.
STAB:
I'm cleaning. Deep cleaning. This place needs it.
Pop My Cherri:
If you move my shit, put it back.
STAB:
... I lost one of your bombs.
Pear:
... Is it safe to stay in the building then?
Pop My Cherri:
We'll be fine... I think. @Lilith can find it.
Daddy Issues:
Why are you telling my mother to find it.
Lilith:
... I am the Queen of Hell, or something like that, and I do as I please. And yes, I will find it because I want to. LMAO
Carfight:
@ScreenQueen, @BigAssForehead, @FreakyFace Tomorrow, overlord meeting. Usual time, usual place. @ShortKing, feel free to come as well.
God:
Now I want to know what's going on down there.
Carfight:
... Is that seriously God?
God:
The one and only. It's a pleasure to meet you...
Harder Daddy:
Are we playing or not.
Screen Queen:
I don't know about you, but I'm good at multitasking. Let's start the game.
Big Ass Forehead:
Is God really that clueless about Hell? Damn, I thought he was all powerful, but he doesn't even know what goes on down here.
God:
I'm busy you piece of shit. Maybe if you had something to do, you wouldn't have to poke your nose in everyone's business to entertain yourself.
Vagina:
OK, God is the shit.
Dick Master:
Yeah... You sad you're no longer in Heaven with him... BITCH?
God:
... You realize you're nothing more than my first experiment? A guinea pig. I feel like I kind of screwed up with you, so I've made better.
Lilith:
You did screw up with him. LMAO
Dick Master:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Short King:
Still bitter that you have no bitches?
Daddy Issues:
... @Whiskers, your turn.
Whiskers:
Shit, I got distracted by FUCKING GOD APPEARING ON THE COUCH!
Pear:
OK, I'm coming. I want to see God. It feels like a once in a lifetime experience.
Carfight:
Lifetime? You're in the afterlife, so...
Pear:
You know what I meant.
Harder Daddy:
At this point, I feel like this is just the most ridiculous peace treaty between Heaven and Hell. All of us playing Cards Against Humanity.
Daddy Issues:
YES! PEACE! 🌈
Dick Master:
You just had to make it gay?
Freaky Face:
This game seems oddly... Offensive.
Big Ass Forehead:
Why are you concerned? You've killed people.
Freaky Face:
Because God is laughing his ass off about all of it.
God:
It's not that offensive. Anal Beads the Musical is fucking funny.
Two Dicks:
... With God being like this... I'm shocked he was fine with exterminations.
God:
I'm sorry... With what?
Danger Tits:
HOLD THE FUCK UP! YOU DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW?
Dick Master:
Well... Shit.
Short King:
Now I'm confused... Where's my emotional support duck?
STAB:
... I moved it to clean and I kind of lost it with the bomb...
Lilith:
It's time to start searching...
God:
What is this extermination.
Dick Master:
It's where me, and a bunch of hot women, go down to Hell and slaughter sinners. It's honestly the shit.
Danger Tits:
... "And a bunch of hot women". Adam, are you being fucking serious?
Vagina:
LMFAO, considering I used to be a part of that... He's not wrong.
Screen Queen:
... Never thought you had an ego.
Vagina:
I don't. I was joking. I fucking hate myself.
Daddy Issues:
You are hot though...
God:
... Who approved this?
Dick Master:
... I thought it was you.
Short King:
WE ALL DID!
Pop My Cherri:
I'm assuming we're not playing anymore?
Pear:
Nope... Why is Husk chugging vodka?
Whiskers:
I'm too sober to deal with this bullshit.
Harder Daddy:
... Fucking same.
Lilith:
I found the duck... And the bomb.
God:
... I'm now just confused.
Daddy Issues:
Don't worry... We all are.