Jahnnie Oneshots 3☆

☆"Pushing Him Away"☆

TW: mental illness, depression, s/h, rejecting, heartbreak.

[ sorry if i made u cry :o ]

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"I don't love you," Johnnie said as the two are standing in the hallway. He was holding tears back as he was rejecting his best friend.

It wasn't necessarily because he didn't love him back, but he was afraid too. So he was pushing him away.

Jake was taken aback by the sudden rejection. He stared at Johnnie for a moment, a mixture of shock and hurt in his eyes.

"You don't... love me?" he repeated, his voice laced with disbelief. He felt a pang in his chest as the words sunk in.

"No," Johnnie lied as he suppressed his tears as much as he could. "I don't." he said, much more firmer.

Jake's heart sank even further at Johnnie's firm response. He took a step back, his arms dropping to his sides.

"But... we've been friends for a while," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "How can you just say that you don't love me? Is it because I confessed my feelings for you?"

"It's not that, Jake-" Johnnie stepped back, "I just.. can't love you. I don't love you." He lied, denying the truth in his heart. "And I'm sorry."

Jake felt a wave of frustration wash over him as Johnnie continued to deny his feelings. He clenched his fists, his eyes searching Johnnie's face for any sign of truth.

"Stop lying," he said, his voice growing louder. "I can see it in your eyes. You're not telling me the truth."

"I am!" Johnnie yelled, "I don't love you! I don't have feelings for you! Okay?!" He turned his back on his best friend.

Jake's heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. He couldn't believe that Johnnie was denying his feelings so adamantly.

"You're not even going to look at me?" he asked, his voice laced with hurt. "You're just going to turn your back on me and pretend like this isn't killing me?"

"It's killing me too," Johnnie whispered. Tears filling his eyes as they slipped uncontrollably out. His back still facing Jake. He was pushing Jake away, as because he was.. scared to be loved.

Jake's anger slowly faded away as he saw the tears running down Johnnie's face. He took a step closer to him, his heart aching with sympathy.

"Then why are you pushing me away?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "If it's killing you too, then why can't you just admit how you feel?"

Johnnie turned around, lying through his teeth. "I CAN'T! JAKE, NO! I DON'T LOVE YOU! OKAY?!" As he stormed off and slammed his bedroom door.

Jake stood there, stunned and hurt by Johnnie's outburst. He watched as his best friend stormed off, slamming the door behind him.

"Why are you doing this to me..?" Jake whispered to himself, feeling a mix of anger, sadness, and confusion. He took a few steps back, leaning against the wall for support.

Johnnie is crying in his room. He was afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of loving someone romantically again.

Jake leaned his head against the wall, listening to the sound of Johnnie crying in his room. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest, realizing that he had pushed his best friend to this point.

He wanted to go to him, to comfort him and tell him that everything would be okay. But he didn't know how. He was scared that Johnnie would push him away again, or worse, reject him even more.